Chicken pox, poison-something and my Lionel Dress.

Happy October, from Ferg. This post has nothing to do with Ferg. That's why I included her at the very beginning. It seems only fair.

I honestly wonder if the stars were aligning this past week trying to steal my sanity and joy. And my ability to hold it all together.

Seriously. You guys.

Let me tell you the story.

(This was my mantra this week.)

So on Monday I started a 3-Day Refresh. (Think: whole-food cleanse.) This means, no snacking and sticking to a specific food plan. Enjoyable? Not terrible. But did it include wine? NO.

Still, it expires on October 1st, so I had to do it because I refuse to lose money and let it expire.

So Monday was Day 1 of clean eating and on Monday after school,  I come home to notice spots ALL OVER LILA'S BACK. We initially think: chicken pox. Normally this wouldn't be an issue in our world. In fact, we're totally cool if Lila has chicken pox because truth be told, I'd rather her get it now than when she's 45. #shinglesAreRough

At the same time as this strange rash on just her back and the back of her arms, I have developed this INSANE RASH on my leg, thigh, neck and NOSE that itches so badly I'm almost willing to cut off my own leg, total-hiker-stuck-on-a-mountain-between-two-boulders style. HOLY WOW, did it itch.

Don't you want to move in with me? See that bottom left-hand corner leg rash? IT ENDED UP TURNING PURPLE and GROWING. Sexy.

So Monday night. I'm hungry and Lila has the chicken pox?

YEP. We're in un-diagnosed limbo waiting to get into the doctor the next day.

Lila goes to bed with about 60 red, weird, unexplained kid rash dots on her back and I'm itching BEYOND belief and am experiencing some hardcore anxiety about our upcoming PLANNED Vegas trip where I will be hugging The Lionel in just 7 days. (We have the meet and great package. There will be hugging. I hope he's a hugger and not Howie Mandel-ish.) What if Lila DOES have the chicken pox? I certainly can't leave her when she needs me. GAH!

This is my nightmare. I have to CHOOSE BETWEEN MY CHILDREN AND LIONEL?

Add  another anxiety issue to the pot:  The girls' grandma is flying in from Ohio to watch the girls for our Vegas trip early Wednesday morning, but... we don't know if she's ever had chicken pox and we certainly don't want to throw her into the potential chicken pox den... so we're waiting to see what the doctor says about Lila's unexplained rash. Oh, and we have no idea if Craig ever had chicken pox before, either. Which truth? If he ends up having chicken pox I'm still going to Vegas. I mean... Lionel?

SO... we freak out. Silently. On Monday night.

ALL I WANTED WAS A GLASS OF WINE, but no... I was on the Refresh for three days.

So the sun rises, as it always does, and it's Tuesday.

We go to the doctor and after a complete exam, our pediatrician declares, "Nope. Not chicken pox. Some sort of environmental thing."

Angels resounded. I dropped to my knees in gratitude and then I asked the pediatrician to tell me what in the WORLD is on my body.

Eh, "I think you have poison ivy / poison oak / or a mango sap reaction."

This is ironic since a.) I don't hike or camp and b.) I haven't eaten or touched a mango in quite some time. Instead, I merely walked to my friends' house through an empty lot for a birthday pool party. It was then, I guess, that I absorbed poison oil on my body. THIS IS WHY I STAY OUT OF NATURE.

So, I go home after the doctor's appointment and load my body up with steroid cream and frankincense. I figured that combination of the two is a just the right healthy balance of Eastern and Western medicine options; the perfect example of who I am: an impatient individual (using a topical steroid) who wishes she could wait for an essential oil (frankincense), but isn't willing to since Lionel is just days away.

So Tuesday, Day #2 of the Refresh, we all go to bed... calmer.

By Friday, the girls' Grandma arrived safely into our non-chicken pox den and I went to the local hospital to demand a steroid shot which I promptly got. In fact, a very masculine male nurse gave me a steroid shot in my butt.

I haven't had a shot in my butt since I was a kid.

It was awkward, I did't love it, but I no longer itch and chances are good that Lionel will hug me and not recoil in repulsion of my neck rash.

So, in my book, it was worth it.

A successful week.

And I lost 4.8 lbs on the Refresh, so that worked really well! And my tight pants fit again.

In  other news, I got my hair cut.

(Confession: I still regret cutting my hair. I am slowly growing it back out. It's taking so-o-o-o long.)

We had one of the best dinners I've ever had in Cabo at The Resort at Pedregal's, El Farallon. We've been there before, but this time? It was incredible.

Eat there. 

It was incredible.

And Mimi is here and the girls are so happy.

(And so are we.)

And come Tuesday, the husband and I will be heading to Vegas to meet THIS guy.


Here's my dress. I'm not convinced of the shoes, but I wanted comfortable.

It's laser-cut leather. Fun, right?

So, that's it.

No chicken pox.
My multiple rashes = healing.
Mimi here.
Lionel Richie on Tuesday...

...and my newest niece entering this world tomorrow!



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