2016 Met Gala Fashion Recap

5/02/2016 11:33:00 PM

GAH! The Annual Met Gala happened. Combat boots, a lot of brown-ish-purple lips, tons of embroidery, copious amounts of silver and gold and Madonna still not acting her age.
Let's dig in, shall we?

Each year, the Metropolitan Museum of Art features a theme at their annual Costume institute Exhibition. This year it was "Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology." You could interpret that literally, or figuratively. Hand-beading, hand-stitching, hand-embroidering meets 3-D printers, laser cutting and technology-inspired elements.

GAH. I'll say it again, SO exciting.

As always, the event is hosted by Anna Wintour of Vogue. The guest list features whomever Anna hand selects.  Yes, she must ok every.single.guest. 

Here's Anna and her daughter, Bee.

*Note, before we get to far into this - I finished writing this very late at night, ignore spelling errors. I'll get 'em tomorrow.

Co-chair was Taylor Swift wearing Louis Vuiton.

(In the beginning of the creation of this post, the husband was giving his comments, too - then he fell asleep. I'm KB, he's CB.)

KB: I like it. It's young and who else can pull off boots like that?

CB: I mean, I like it. It's futuristic. It's not plain.

Here are Kim and Kanye wearing not only intense adoration for themselves, but for the designer, Balmain, as well

KB: On an artistic level, I think that Kim's gown is incredible. Kanye's blue eyes are creeping.me.out. and his jacket sort of looks like a loaner from Captain Jack.

CB: Vibes.

KB: Those jeans, though. That's a strange inseam choice.

Here's Kylie Jenner wearing Balmain, as well.

KB: It looks too big for her. The sleeves are too long. I feel like this just might have been a hand-me-down.

CB: I feel like she's trying to be her older sister and it doesn't fit well.

(Note: he has no idea what my comments are. Crazy.)

Here's Kate Upton wearing TopShop. There was just so much silver in all of the Met Gala photos. Too easy, no? "Technology + computers + metal stuff = the theme." Easy.

Still, she's beautiful.

Craig says: "Way too plain."

I do not know who this is, but her sheer delight in wearing this PLEASES me beyond words.

I LOVE it.

CB: I really like it. And I feel like she definitely does, too. She looks like a galactic warrior.

(Which, of course, is everyone's goal.)

Here's Cindy Crawford also wearing Balmain.

KB: Eh.

CB: I mean, I can't say anything bad about Cindy Crawford. She looks nice.

Here's Ciara wearing H&M.

KB: Eh.

CB: I like her hair.

(Me: Would you like it if I cut my hair like that?

CB: No.)

This is so boring.

CB: Way too boring.

Here's Bette Midler in Marc Jacobs and I'll be honest, I saw it and immediately thought of her staring in Hocus Pocus. (Remember that movie?)

CB: I actually like the dress, just minus the head piece thing.

(Not sure what he's thinking.)

Here's Chloe Sevigny wearing Simone Rocha.

I mean. That's just gratuitous. But, whatever.

Here's Brie Larson wearing Proenza Schouler and I really like it. (Yes, I know it's a subtle halter.)

CB: I love the dress, I don't like the length.

I don't understand this. It's SO ridiculously "Sunday Brunch." Ugh.

Here's Dakota Fanning wearing Nina Ricci and I just think that the top is ill-fitting. And I don't really think it goes with the theme. Eh.

Next is Kate Mara wearing Pacora Banne and I don't hate it. It's artistic. The shoes are boring, but I like it.

Katie Holmes looks sad. She's wearing Zac Posen and it's eh, for me. As far as I'm concerned, every day that she's not married to Tom Cruise should mean a big smile and a celebration.

I mean, this is what you expect of Katy Perry. Go big, girl.

I like it. This Prada number is great. Only Katy.

"May the odds be ever in your favor."

This, on the other hand... was horrendous.

Oh, Madonna. You're 57.

Put your bum away. (That's your KIDS asking you to do that... AND the rest of the world.)

It's strange when you're still desperately seeking attention when you're well into your 50's.

Get over yourself.

(Sorry for that, guys. I made it small so as not to offend you too much.)

Speaking of more terrible...

Here's Nicki Minaj with what appears to be a whole bunch of small cell phones stuck to her.

Next up, the Country King and Queen hailing from Australia and New Zealand, respectively, Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman wearing Alexander McQueen.

I don't hate it, in fact, I do like a cape.

Happy Kristen Stewart wearing Chanel.

Unhappy Kristen Stewart still wearing Chanel.

"It's fine. I'm fine. Whatever."

And, here's Mama Kardashian wearing Balmain.



Here's Lady Gaga wearing Versace. I mean, if ANYONE can pull this off, it's her.

I think the jacket is AMAZING.

I do, however, think the swimsuit would rust if actually used to swim.

So, something to keep in mind for those of us with a more practical streak.


Olivia Wilde looked lovely in Michael Kors.

This is a halter that I can stand behind.

(Yep, read that again for I shan't ever say it again.)

Zoe Saldana's Dolce & Gabbana gown is insane.


Miranda Kerr is wearing Louis Vuitton and I kind of like it.

It's wacky and young and fun.

Also in Louis Vuitton is Alicia Vikander. Young. Age-appropriate. Cute.

Speaking of young, age appropriate and cute, it's Michelle(s) Tanner!

Looking particularly joyous today, no?


STOP THE SMILING. Your GLEE is spreading like wildfire.

Zendaya is wearing gold.

Whatev. It's fine. Her hair is painful. As in seriously painful for me - I had that haircut in second grade.

Here's Sienna Miller wearing Gucci.

It reminds me of wallpaper. I'm bored by it.


Yes, it looks good. But, something new?

I loved Nina Dobrev's Marchesa gown. It's gorgeous. Is it appropriate for the theme? I don't know. Ask Anna Wintour.

(Craig's no longer giving feedback on the gowns. He's sleeping.)

Rachel McAdams is killing it in this Valentino gown. I love it and I think it fits the theme perfectly.

While I don't necessarily have a "worst dressed" I do have to say that I loathe this entire look. It doesn't fit and it actually makes Amber Herd look sad. The styling is just off.


As far as nude-colored gowns go, I don't love Beyonce's.

I know. I'm writing this on my laptop, while in bed, and I sort of ducked as I typed fearing that the Queen Bee police would hear. (We're all supposed to love Beyonce, blah, blah, blah.) 

While she is gorgeous, I just don't like this.

Is it silicone?

It looks like skin.

It looks like she's wearing someone's skin.

I can't get behind a dress that looks like wrinkly human skin.

And there is no way that fabric breathes.

At this point, I'm concerned about her health.

On the other hand, I do like Solange.

A.) she brought color.

B.) it's artistic.

C.) she can do what she wants at the Met Gala. (Remember the Jay-Z / elevator incident last year? Mmmmhmmm..)

Now, on to the white dresses.

This one befuddles me.

Here's Elle Fanning.

This is so boring.

Here's Emma Stone rocking some sort of mid-century Kardashian waist-trainer.


Jennifer Hudson is wearing H&M.

(I think it was fun to see mass-market labels find their way on to the red carpet.)

I don't love the gown, it looks like it needs more structure or support at the waist? But she looks stunning.

Here's Karli Kloss wearing Brandon Maxwell.


This is incredible.

Here's Kate Hudson in Versace

I like it. A lot.

Karolina Kurkova took the theme seriously. Her Marchesa gown was apparently co-created with IBM.

Nothing says cool like PCs.

Here, here to the one Jenner/Dashian who didn't wear Balmain! Here's Kendall wearing Versace!

It's crazy-intricate and I think that's cool, but... it's a halter and it sort of looks like my Grandma's 4 ft. above-ground pool liner.

Here's Lily Rose Depp.

I have no thoughts on this.

I cannot tell you how much I love the "not having it" look on Lorde's face. She's like, "My best friend Taylor Swift is co-hosting this party so I put on this tutu and glove and here.I.am.

I don't do themes."

I love you, Mindy Kaling... but this Tory Burch gown is soooo bridal.

I can't get behind this.

I think Rosie Huntington-Whitely cheated. You can just add a metal shoulder accessory and call yourself on-trend.

But, she does look stunning. So even if she cheated, she wins.

And, it appears that Uma Thurman got the same memo Rosie did: white gown, metal thing on shoulder, GO!

Sara Jessica Parker is wearing something that may confuse us now, but we will better understand it in the future.

I trust. I believe.

I do know that her hair looks amazing and it makes me miss my own AND it makes me want to get some good ombre highlights.

(Love those SJP shoes!)

So, there were a select few who decided not to do black, white or metallics.

Lupita Nyong'o looked STUNNING in this "Tinkerbell-grows-up-and-goes-to-the-ball" Calvin Klein number.

Right? Tinkerbell?

I love Jessica Chastain in this Prada gown. It's stunning.

Emma Roberts is wearing Tory Burch and I hate it.

I do not like this color scheme for an adult woman, I cannot handle the hair and make up and the halter is actually suffocating me.

I can't breathe.

I didn't adore this gown as much as I wanted to. But, I think Blake Lively is stunning.

(Why the flowers growing out of her up-top?)

I googled it.

Ivanka Trump had a baby 35 days ago.

I don't understand anything about those Trumps at all.

They're not human. Which may turn out to be an issue sooner rather than later.

#aliens #deportThem #dontSendThemToMexico

Poor Hailee Steinfeld. Her stylist was way off.

And she doesn't look happy about it.

This must be over my head.

Doesn't she look lovely?

Emily Blunt totally ignored the theme but looks lovely in Michael Kors.

On to my worst dressed...

Amy Schumer can't even support this Alexander Wang gown. And the dress feels the same way, it can't support her either.

This is just a hot mess.

I hate it. The matchy-matchy shoes and bag, the big hair, the super-dark makeup -- this is wholly unfortunate.

Anna Kendrick in this gown is so matronly it makes me mad.

I can't even look at it.

Grow up.

This isn't a Victoria's Secret Pink Fashion show, Dakota Johnson.

I just think this was the strangest choice EVER.

I hate this.

Emma Watson appears to be dragging a body bag in her train and quite frankly, I don't think that's appropriate for an event of this caliber.

And this is rather easy, but Rose Byrne gets the worst dressed award.

THAT FABRIC isn't forgiving on anyone, but most importantly, those ruffles should have never been constructed.

That choker. The glare from the gown. The guy stepping on her train.


Here are my favorites.

It's a print.
Even if her knickers are showing, I like it.

(Who is this?)

This Erdem gown on June Temple is endearing and whimsically and lovely and I love it. Is it appropriate for the event? I'm not certain. But I love this overall look.

And, I adore her hair and frizzy bangs.

I will love Florence Welch 'till forever.

This is ethereal and a piece of art.

(Craig doesn't like the vines. He stated that before he fell asleep.)

Demi Lovato looks amazing. This gown photographs well, she knows how to stand (when did that become something to be praised?) and it's just striking.

I like.


So here's my second-best: Poppy Delevingne in Marchesa.

I just love this.

Sure, it's a pretty literal translation of the theme, but I like it.

(I would have put her hair up, though, or have done a tight bun at the nape of her neck. Still, I liked it a lot. HOW many hours making that gown?)

And, my best dressed surprised even me.

I love Kate Bosworth in this gown.

Oh, the craftsmanship of this Dolce & Gabbana gown. I'm seriously in love.

If you're going to wear a breast plate, BEDAZZLE it up.

What did you think?


1 comment:

  1. Best Dressed: KATE HUDSON - I die. Also causing death, calling Kendall Jenner's gown a pool liner , hahahahaa. I live for these posts and I vote CB in on future sessions! Worst dressed: Amy Schumer...GOD AWFUL IN EVERY WAY.


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