on grief. Another feather.

So I'm typing this for the Los Cabos International Airport, SJD. It's Thursday around 11 a.m.

I'm going to visit my sister today. (!!!) (I tried this trip last year at the EXACT same time -- remember what happened?)

We're closing on my Mom's house tomorrow.

Anywho, this morning as I was standing in our garage, I opened Craig's car door -- as he's my ride to the airport, yo. (Hashtag MarriedResponsibilities)

This just magically flew in and landed smack-dab in the middle of where I'd step to get in the car.

[I am smiling ear to ear.]

A white feather?

In my garage?

(We don't keep white birds in our garage. And we live in a desert.)

A feather?

On the day that I'm flying to Missouri to see my sister?

A feather?

On the day before we are closing on her house (that we have sold TWICE before -- each time falling through before closing)?

A feather.

Oh, friends.

She is with me.

Oh, she is with me, she is with me, she is with me. [I just sang that in my mind as I typed that.]

(I smiling.)

A little over a year ago I was sitting in this same airport, also alone, also typing on my computer. I was typing this story; the story of how I found out that she died; the call. I was in the airport, alone, on my way to Springfield, Missouri to try to make sense of what just happened.

I was in a daze.

And, here I am a year and nearly 3 months later, same airport, again by myself, again typing on the same computer... but smiling.

Because even though she's not with me, oh man, she is with me.

She's happy that I'm going to see my sister.
She's ok with the sale of her home.

The feather... oh the feathers come just when I need them.

Even Craig kept saying, "That's crazy..." about the feather landing in the door jam thing. But it's not crazy, I mean it is, but it's not.

She's with me.

Love that Shirl.


**Feathers started to show up for me a bit after she died. I wrote about the first feathers here. They also showed up here. Feathers are part of my regular life. They're my thing with her.

The feather necklace C. got me. Wearing it right now as I'm typing.

--The Story of Loss. On Losing my Mom.
September 9, 2013  ::  The day I found out ::  Post here.
September 16, 2013  ::  It's One Week today  ::  Post here.
September 25, 2013  :: The Call  ::  Post here.
September 30, 2013  ::  Slivers of Sunlight  ::  Post here.
October 6, 2013  ::  That first week.Those first days :: Post here.
October 14, 2013  ::  14 days after  ::  Post here.
October 20, 2013  ::  I found a treasure  ::  Post here.
November 4, 2013  ::  She's been gone for 4 weeks  :: Post here.
November 13, 2013  ::  I smile and drive and cry and smile and cry  :: Post here.
November 17, 2013  ::  Weekends aren't easy  :: Post here.
November 26, 2013  ::  The holidays, the firsts  ::  Post here.
December 1, 2013  ::  8 weeks  :: Post here.
December 10, 2013  ::  The Dream  :: Post here.
December 19, 2013  ::  Vulnerability and Moving Forward  ::  Post here.
December 22, 2013  ::  The reminders. They're everywhere  ::  Post here.
December 29, 2013  :: 2013  :: Post here.
January 1, 2014  ::  The New Year  :: Post here.
January 7, 2014  ::  2 days from 4 months  ::  Post here.
January 17, 2014  ::  Another Gift ::  Post here.
January 25, 2014  ::  She would have been 60 today  ::  Post here.
February 9, 2014  ::  Five months  ::  Post here.
March 6, 2014  ::  Almost six months  ::  Post here.
March 27, 2014  ::  One of the Best Gifts Ever  ::  Post here.
April 1, 2014  ::  We're all in this together  ::  Post here.
April 24, 2014 :: 7 Months, Easter and Nope, I'm still not normal.  ::  Post here.
May 6, 2014  :: Mother's Day without a Mom  ::  Post here.
June 1, 2014  ::  Moving "forward"  ::  Post here.
July 6, 2014  ::  Denial & acceptance & blah, blah, blah  ::  Post here.
August 20, 2014  ::  So, I'm 35  ::  Post here.
September 2, 2014  ::  7 days  ::  Post here.
September 8, 2014  ::  The Day Before a Year  ::  Post here.
September 9, 2014  ::  Hello, one year  ::  Post here.
October 11, 2014  ::  The brain is funny  ::  Post here.
November 6, 2014  ::  Love  ::  Post here.
November 30, 2014 ::  Post here.



  1. I am smiling for you!!!!!!!! What an experience to hold close!!! XOXO -Sal

  2. Oh how it makes me heart happy to read about moments like these...


written exclusively by twopretzels. | Contact kyleeATtwopretzels.com . Powered by Blogger.