on grief: Hello, one year.

Of course this little gem was waiting for me this morning as I walked to my car.
I'm going to be just fine.

"He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge..."
Psalm 91:4a

The Story of Loss. On Losing my Mom.
September 9, 2013  ::  The day I found out ::  Post here.
September 16, 2013  ::  It's One Week today  ::  Post here.
September 25, 2013  :: The Call  ::  Post here.
September 30, 2013  ::  Slivers of Sunlight  ::  Post here.
October 6, 2013  ::  That first week.Those first days :: Post here.
October 14, 2013  ::  14 days after  ::  Post here.
October 20, 2013  ::  I found a treasure  ::  Post here.
November 4, 2013  ::  She's been gone for 4 weeks  :: Post here.
November 13, 2013  ::  I smile and drive and cry and smile and cry  :: Post here.
November 17, 2013  ::  Weekends aren't easy  :: Post here.
November 26, 2013  ::  The holidays, the firsts  ::  Post here.
December 1, 2013  ::  8 weeks  :: Post here.
December 10, 2013  ::  The Dream  :: Post here.
December 19, 2013  ::  Vulnerability and Moving Forward  ::  Post here.
December 22, 2013  ::  The reminders. They're everywhere  ::  Post here.
December 29, 2013  :: 2013  :: Post here.
January 1, 2014  ::  The New Year  :: Post here.
January 7, 2014  ::  2 days from 4 months  ::  Post here.
January 17, 2014  ::  Another Gift ::  Post here.
January 25, 2014  ::  She would have been 60 today  ::  Post here.
February 9, 2014  ::  Five months  ::  Post here.
March 6, 2014  ::  Almost six months  ::  Post here.
March 27, 2014  ::  One of the Best Gifts Ever  ::  Post here.
April 1, 2014  ::  We're all in this together  ::  Post here.
April 24, 2014 :: 7 Months, Easter and Nope, I'm still not normal.  ::  Post here.
May 6, 2014  :: Mother's Day without a Mom  ::  Post here.
June 1, 2014  ::  Moving "forward"  ::  Post here.
July 6, 2014  ::  Denial & acceptance & blah, blah, blah  ::  Post here.
August 20, 2014  ::  So, I'm 35  ::  Post here.
September 2, 2014  ::  7 days  ::  Post here.
September 8, 2014  ::  The Day Before a Year  ::  Post here.


  1. I clicked on the link from Facebook expecting to cry. This made me smile. (with a tiny tear).

    Sarah D

    1. It's funny, I expected to cry all day, too... but I didn't. It was a good day for me. I was thankful for her.

  2. i've been thinking of you so much today. there's nothing to say, really, except i'm still so sorry for the loss of you mom and i'm sending big hugs your way.

    1. I felt them, Abbe. Honestly.

      And thank you.

  3. I hope the feather that awaited you this morning has helped carry you through the day today. Love you, Anna DS

    1. It carried me, friend. It did. That and the love and prayers from others... and I honestly think she had something to do with it. It was oddly, a good day...

  4. I love it.

    Did you see my friend Sheelah's comment on my last post about Jaime?

    "When I saw your likes on fb today, I took a deep breath. I’m so sorry today is a hard day. Maybe today she’s missing you guys more than normal, and it’s showing up in your heart, too."

    I love that thought...that on those days where we think about our loved ones more and miss the more...maybe it's because they're missing us more than normal too and our hearts are recognizing that.

    I've been thinking about you all day, Ky. ((HUGS))

    1. Yes! I did read that and I thought it was so eloquent and so wise and so apt. I love that idea.

      (Yesterday was far better than I expected...)

  5. For you on this day. Sending you warmth from afar.

    "Heavy" by Mary Oliver

    That time
    I thought I could not
    go any closer to grief
    without dying

    I went closer,
    and I did not die.
    Surely God
    had his hand in this,

    as well as friends.
    Still, I was bent,
    and my laughter,
    as the poet said,

    was nowhere to be found.
    Then said my friend Daniel,
    (brave even among lions),
    “It’s not the weight you carry

    but how you carry it -
    books, bricks, grief -
    it’s all in the way
    you embrace it, balance it, carry it

    when you cannot, and would not,
    put it down.”
    So I went practicing.
    Have you noticed?

    Have you heard
    the laughter
    that comes, now and again,
    out of my startled mouth?

    How I linger
    to admire, admire, admire
    the things of this world
    that are kind, and maybe

    also troubled -
    roses in the wind,
    the sea geese on the steep waves,
    a love
    to which there is no reply?

    1. ****chills****

      Oh my.

      Oh MY.

      Thank you for that...

  6. Love you. Sending the Midwest love.


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