What they Say. Volume III.

6/11/2014 01:34:00 PM
They're totally trustworthy.

1. Vivi calls grapes "green blueberries."

2. Lila and I were being silly in my bed one Sunday morning and she was chiding me to get up and I said, "Get out of town, devil woman!" and she replied with... "I'm not a woman!"



3. After ballet, Vivi wanted me to buy her a water on our way out of the gym -- even though the water bottle that we brought with us was still full. I said, "No. We'll be home in 5 minutes."

She replied, as she still held tightly on to my hand when we were crossing the busy street to our car:

"I'm going to change you for a new Mom."


I sort of have a feeling that's not the first time I'm going to hear that...

"Camping" in my house.

4. Lila was sitting on my lap as I was clipping her fingernails. I lamented out loud at how tall she's getting.

Her: "I almost don't fit on your lap anymore!"

Me: "I know. It makes my heart sad."

Her: "Don't worry. You can always hold me... but... you and Daddy are probably going to have to buy me some bigger clothes."


She's pragmatic.

5. Vivi was preparing to make me a picture with foam stickers and she let me know: "I'm going to make you something fancy-tastic, Mommy."


I couldn't love that more.

6. They had just had spaghetti for dinner and Vivi was complaining about how full she was and how much "sketti" was in her belly.

Lila, with an exasperated look and voice said, "VIVI, it isn't 'sketti'. IT IS BAH-SKETTI. BAH-SETTI, ok?"

[insert older-sister-know-it-all-eye-roll]


7. They were playing the other day and Vivi wouldn't let Lila do something or Vivi said something mean to Lila - I don't really know because I mean really? It could have been about any myriad of things.

All that I know is that when I came upon the scene Lila was storming off after just having told her sister: "Vivi. You just 'broked' my heart."


We teach passive aggression early in this family.

8. I asked Vivi to "give me some sugar" and she leaned and kissed my cheek. Next, I kissed her lips and she said, "Um... I think you gave me a little too much... Don't worry. I wiped it off."

9. I was explaining to the girls that they were going to be going to a new school next year. The school has a small farm and I was telling the girls that each year the farm has a cow visit for a week, so they will get to milk the cow, etc. "Isn't that cool, ladies?"

Lila: "I'm not touching the... the... bottom of the cow."

(By bottom, she meant the underneath of the cow. The udders.)

Then Vivi chimed in with, "Yeah, and I'm not touching the cow's booty. No."

(By booty, she meant the behind of the cow. Oy.)


Whose kids are these?

And finally...

10.  I was picking up the girls from school and Lila was explaining to me that her substitute teacher had very, very long beautiful black hair. We started talking about our differences and how it's cool that we're all different; Lila has long blonde hair and her sub had long black hair. Lila alerted me: "You know, boys and girls are different."

I literally gripped the steering wheel and was on the edge of my seat in the car just waiting for whatever was going to come from my almost-five-year-old's lips next:

Me: "It's true. Boys and girls are different."

Lila: "Yeah, boys go to the bathroom standing up and girls to go the bathroom sitting down."

Me: "Yep. That's true."

Then Vivi interjects: "Because they have a tail. Boys have tails."

Me: Dying inside. Laughing. Hold.it.together. Be mature. YOU ARE THE PARENT.

Lila: "Vivi, they do not have 'tails'." They have a thing and the thing has a little hole in it and that's where the you-know-what comes out."

Me: Thinking:  Omg. Omg. Omg. Stop it. I'm dying.

Vivi to Lila: "You don't say the right thing." (This is a bi-lingual kid saying, "You don't know what what you're talking about.")

Lila: "Yes, I do."

And that was it.

I asked Lila where she learned this valuable info, she said at school. And she also said, "I also know that we're all born'd differently."

I literally though, "Oh no. Oh no."

Then she went on to say, "Yes, so some of us are born'd boys and some of us are born'd girls."

End of story.

For now...


What they Say. Volume II  ::  click here.
What they Say. Volume I :: click here.

1 comment:

  1. HAHAHA I'm still laughing on the tail... Oh those conversations... been there. I love this.


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