Four things.

1. Lila is making me smile a lot these days.

She had swim class today and she ran and jumped into the pool, then swam to the other side. Unbelievable. She's grown so much. She also told me today that when she obeys me and her Daddy she has paz (peace) in her heart. (Her teacher taught her that.)

I say peace in her heart is awesome.

Her current goals are also to read and snap her fingers. (She confirmed this with me tonight.)

I love her.

Two more things:

"For Halloween, first I wanted to be a donut, then I wanted to be Rapunzel and now I want to be a butterfly."

(My vote was donut.)

After I tucked her in, she said, "Goodnight, Mommy. I like your bangs."

Oh, Lila...

2. I wore these shoes today. Because I needed to.

3. Vivienne ate a cupcake today.

When she's finished eating baked goods she's usually covered in SO many crumbs that I lift her up, she continues to keep her body as if she were sitting and I carry her outside, stand her in the flower bed in the courtyard and we "plant cupcakes" by shaking her off.

We hope that cupcakes will grow in the soil.

How great would that be?

4. My dear friend Abbe sent this photo to me today because it reminded her of me. It was on display in her local library.

It's quite possibly the best thing I've seen in quite some time.

Soak in EVERY square inch of that cover.



  1. I love that Lila is making you smile. Sweet, sweet girl. And I love her goals...snapping fingers is equally as important as reading...perhaps MORE. ;)

    I really, really hope V is on to something with the cupcake planting. How awesome would that be?

    I love your happy pants and fun, colorful shoes and toes. Perfection.

  2. wow - the paz/peace, the nearly being able to snap the fingers, the cute shoes, the very strange book title?! that's a lot for only 4 things!! i loved it though. all of it. sending positive snappy vibes to my favorite bi-lingual little lady. Love, Miss

  3. so great. all of it. :) especially the lila video. now THAT made my day. :) i hope she's well on her way to snap happiness!

  4. I love this post!!

    1. Lila....sweet, sweet Lila. Her voice is sweet and even her gestures are dainty and sweet!! Love it. And the swimming, uh, WAY TO GO LILA!!! That is seriously awesome.

    2. I adore those shoes and your toe nail color.

    3. Vivi. Oh, Vivi just always brings a smile to my face, even when not trying!! And a cupcake garden would be AMAZING.

    4. That book looks AWESOME. Besides the title, An Amish Mystery. Uh, growing up near Amish country, I am sure there is nothing better than an Amish mystery, especially one about a pretzel that has been assaulted. I mean, what is more thrilling than a "cozy mystery"!! hahaha Hearse and Buggy....stop it. Just stop it!! Too much :-)

    I am glad you are finding things to make you smile, my friend.

  5. Thanks for your comment and for reading my story about Bud. You asked how things are now... We are coming up on 7 years and while there are still some "gut punch" moments here and there, we have reached a place where we talk about him and love going thru the photo albums..and we can do it 99% of the time without some sort of tears or a somber moment. Funny enough, I recently downloaded an app called "Skyview" in my shows you the heavens--all you have to do is turn your IPad/Iphone in any direction and at any given time it will tell you the stars in the sky, constellations and "things" that are going on in space (totally cool by the way). Bud was also a HAM Radio operator and he was totally facinated by space and anything in it.(He kept the co-ordinates of ANYTHING --rocket/Space Station/Shuttle--plugged into the HAM radio and it was never a surprise to walk into his office and hear Russian being spoken from some MIR orbit going

    He would call and tell us the position of the International Space Station or the Space Shuttle and (I live in the country) where we could see it in the sky that night--he just lived for that
    stuff. So I was showing the APPto my Mom and it hit me so hard how MUCH Bud would have loved seeing how far technology has come and what he could have done on his phone...but I didn't cry, I just felt such a calming feeling..knowing in my heart that when Mikayala (my daughter) and I play with
    this app, we are closer to Bud this way--it's something we would have shared with him and he would have fascinated by it.

    Keep finding those type of things and share them with your girls to help them remember her! Mom had sold the house she and Bud lived in a couple of years ago and has started on a new life for herself--and while it was sad, it kind of made it easier to not be in that house..because we still would look up and expect him to be coming around a corner or being in his office..or any number of things would trigger such memories.I think we just had the "final goodbye" earlier this week. The car he bought for her finally fell apart (I know in my heart she hung on to that old clunker longer than she should have because it was her "last connection"). I was with her when the salvage truck came and got the car and I could just tell how hard it was for her to watch that car get towed away, so I just hugged her--no words needed to be said...we both just knew.Bud has 3 Grandchildren who have been born since he passed and his memory is kept alive thru us..they know "Papa". Mikayla is a big part of that for her little cousins because she was "Papa's girl". They had a mutual admiration club going and each thought the other hung the moon....and Miki always has a story for the little kids.In those first years, we could barely even mention his name, but now we do a lot more laughing and sharing Bud stories, the pain is just a low burning know someone is missing, but it's ok, we'll see him again someday.

    Kylee, I am so sorry you have lost your Mom so young. Give your mind and heart time to won't know the moment it happens, you'll just have feelings of Peace..and that is when you know she is with you and she's telling you that she is ok. It's ok to cry, it's ok to be's ok to feel anything you need to at any given time--it's part of the process. You and your family are in my prayers...hug those beautiful girls every day. I'm sure your Mom is so proud of the person and mother you have become...she is always with you. OK--now I am bawling at my desk, so I have to stop. Please feel free to write back if you just need someone to "listen". I have read your blog for years and really love your writing...keep doing it...its theraputic. (My blog has become a ghost yard, and I miss writing, but that part of me has died a little since my divorce...maybe I'll get back into it, maybe not, but I do read your .) Take care.

    Amy Farmer (Lurker Girl)


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