On aging.

5/16/2013 04:08:00 AM
Vicky from the Real Housewives of Orange County BEFORE... Vicki now.

(Article about Vicky here.)

I highly doubt I'm going to "grow old gracefully."

In fact, I think that's a lie younger people say to older people to annoy them. (Ah-hem... sister... I apologize for what I said six years ago.)

The truth of the matter is getting older is...different. And by "different" I mean not cool. I mean foreign. I mean I don't love it.

Now, I'm strictly referring to the physical side of aging. I understand that as we get older we have a better handle on "who we really are" and what we "really want". That we're more emotionally stable blah, blah, blah. While I'm sure wisdom collected from life experiences is invaluable, let's talk about wrinkles.

And sun damage spots.
The dark pigmentation on my upper lip.
Forehead creases that will one day be wrinkles.
"Laugh" lines.
Skin that is starting to feel... I don't know... different. Loose.

Let's talk about how my butt is starting to slide down the back of my legs. (gasp)

And let's talk about how before when I wanted to lose a couple of pounds, I'd chill out on my snacking and then BAM! In 2-5 days -- weight.gone. Let's talk about how it's not happening that quickly these days.

And then there's the grey hair.
The wiry, offensive, visible-in-all-lighting grey hair.
The grey hair that taller people can easily spot when they stand near you.

No, friends. Aging and I aren't going to be amigos.

Sure, I'll embrace what I presume will be my head full of grey hair at some point in my life -- perhaps when I'm 70? I'm sure there will come a time when my vanity will fade away and I won't care as much about my muffin top -- but for now, I want no part of it.

At almost 34 -- I don't love magnifying mirrors and if I were a betting gal, I'd confidently wager that I will NEVER say that I'm "proud of each freckle and wrinkle I've got because it's a tribute to the life I've lived."

Yeah right.

I can GUARANTEE  I won't be saying that.

Sure, we all can work out to maintain our health and stay, well... healthy. But no matter WHAT we do, we're getting older. What did Truvy say in Steel Magnolias? "...Time marches on and eventually you realize it's marchin' across your face."

No truer words, Truvy. No. Truer.Words.

Wrinkles you, guys. WRINKLES and LINES. Droopy necks.

I don't think I'm going to handle this well.


**And that was your uplifting message on my normally chipper blog. You're welcome.

**And see Vicki up there at the top of this post? While I think she looks like a shadow of her old self, I'm not quite as judgmental as I once was.

**Note you should also never say to someone, "Age is only a number" or "You're only as old as you feel" because both of those annoying sentiments are dumb.

Again, you're welcome for the optimism found in this post.



  1. Girl....If you lived here, I would HUG you for this....and smile, and nod, and maybe shed a tear! Thank you for being honest....grow old gracefully??? UGH! I find myself (at 35....GASP!) catching glimpses of myself in the mirror (in my car for example....in full bright daylight) and noticing things (in HORROR) that I never noticed before....and I'm wondering just how I'm going to handle this aging thing....and I'm guessing not well! Geesh....

    1. I'm so glad you could relate.

      And full, bright daylight is the WORST.


      Let's hold hands and walk into the very dimly lit sunset. :)

  2. I get botox for my frown line. I've been doing it since late last year. I'm also saving up for an upper eye lid lift. I'll probably get it when I'm 50 (in 6 years). Holy crap. I'll be 50 in 6 years. NOOOOOO!!!

    I also hate my neck now. It's getting droopy. I'm getting a double chin. It's saggy. But that's not an easy surgery or recovery, and it's expensive. I better start saving.

    I'm the first one to admit I don't want to look old!!

    1. Oh! There are things that you can do for your next. Titan. Lasers. You don't have to do anything overwhelmingly invasive.

      Why are men "so distinguished" as they get older and we just look old?


      [goes and gets a glass of wine]

  3. Love you. This is a GOOD day for me. :)


    1. I **knew** you'd enjoy/appreciate this.

  4. Amiga, I hear you. "Spa Cielo" is going to be my new BFF so soon... I hyperventilate every time I think of grey hair, I REFUSE. I´m going to cry when I have to dye my virgin hair.

    Your face looks flawless to me, though. Seriously. BUT I hear you.

    1. I'm calling Spa Cielo this week.

      I'm so serious.

  5. GETTING OLDER....UGH!! BLARG (whatever that means, I feel it is appropriate.)

    Oh Klyee, I hear you on ALL this!!

    When I was pregnant and my hormones were racing I started getting more of those coarse tiny dark hairs on my face. I had a few of them hair or there (Punned...oh heck yeah, I did) before I got pregnant but I practically grew a beard during pregnancy. They said it would slow down after my hormones settled. UH, It has gotten worse!! And ow mom mom has regretfully informed me that it is because I am getting older. BLAH. Seriously, it is like a forest on the lower half of my face. Do I really need to be getting a chin wax at the age of 33. I guess, so.

    I also have never been one to think I needed make-up. Oh how the times are changing. Circles under my eyes that look like half dollars and my skin is looking blotchy and droopy....just like Droopy the Dog ;)

    And I am not even going to talk about the weight or my boobs.

    Someone I work with who is 26 told me yesterday "You are 33, wow. You look like you are still in your 20s". I told her she was full of shit. She was totally trying to suck up because she is new ;-)

    Agree about Vicki

    1. I enjoyed every bit of this comment and I'm so sorry for the pre- and post-pregnancy changes. They suck.

      And I laughed at your response to the 26-year-old. :)

  6. I'm depressed now.


    At least we don't have to do it alone???


  7. P.s. I *love* when Chanelle tells me "you have cracks in your eyes."

    Yep. That's cool.

  8. I tell Danny every day that I feel like I'm "falling apart." It's always something! Getting older is not that cool.


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