The one where Lila fell. Parents, thoughts?

5/08/2012 04:08:00 AM

So last Friday Lila fell down at school. She falls all the time (she gets that from me), but she fell a little harder than normal this time. She was apparently swinging and tripped when getting off the swing and forgot that she had hands and fell on her face.

Her lip was fat and bleeding, the teeny patch of skin above her lip between her nose and lips was scraped up pretty badly and so was her chin and lip.

They immediately cleaned her up with water, put an ice pack on her face and put arnica* on it.

...but they didn't call us.

Craig was the parent picking up Lila on Friday and when he got to school he saw Lila and it appeared as if  Lila had simply drawn on her face, but as he got a better, closer look - he saw it was dried blood and a scrape and he went into Papa-bear-protection mode and was IRATE. (Understandably.)

Why didn't the school call us?

Lila was fine, she definitely was the most scraped up I think she's ever been and I think it's definitely going to be uncomfortable and slightly itchy as it heals, I'm sure.


So, what are your thoughts on this? What is your experience with your child's school/care provider in the case of an injury? Do you have a set plan of attack when this happens?


I immediately called Lila's teacher, whom I frequently text (Si! I'm that parent.) and whom I love and she told me the full story and explained that she was going to call, however Lila hardly cried, she seemed fine and after they cleaned her up she wanted to play on the brincolin (trampoline) and she jumped and jumped and jumped and was happy.

Still, I said, "If she ever bleeds at school from her face, I need to know. Even if she's ok. Send me a text so that when we pick her up we don't flip out. If she falls and scrapes a knee - I get it, but this was a bit more than a scraped knee."

She apologized 3 million times and even texted over the weekend to make sure Lila was ok.

Ok, so thoughts on this, please. Should the school have called? Am I overreacting?


*Arnica is essentially used here like Windex was used by the Dad in My Big Fat Greek Wedding. And it's true, it pretty much fixes everything.



  1. I'm admittedly overprotective (of S regarding school), so I would expect if she were bleeding, they would call. If even just to inform me, keep me in the loop. For example, so at pick up, you could say, "Lila, I heard you fell...", instead of freaking out because you had no idea.

    I can see their reasoning behind not calling; no crying, easy clean up and her not thinking it was a big deal. Kid's are resilient. But, I'd still like to be informed PRIOR to pick up.

    S has only gotten hurt once at school. She fell on this climbing thing and landed on her leg. I guess she cried a lot. They hugged her til she stopped crying and asked her if she wanted to call me. She said no, she wanted to play. So, they didn't call. When I arrived to pick her up, they had an accident report waiting for me to review/discuss. I wasn't upset about not being informed because she was fine (not even bruised), and I liked how they handled it by asking HER what she wanted. Obviously, she can also replay the whole scenario to me, which helps my comfort level. She can tell me if it hurt, if she was scared, if she wanted me, what the teacher said, etc. If she wasn't so verbal, to the point of to much detail, I'd probably want a call each time something happened. ;)

    I think you were right to discuss your concerns with her teacher. Each parent is different, so I'm sure they appreciate knowing your limits.

    Hope Ms. Lila heals quickly!

  2. Hm. I'm not sure. I see their point that she was ready to move on and wasn't fussing about it, BUT, I also would have been totally freaked to walk in without warning and see a big cut on the dude's face. A heads up would be really, really nice in that situation. I've picked Jude up with new bruises or a cut on his arm/leg/whatever before, and I don't really mind that because kids are crazy, and those incidents we have always just discussed at pickup. I guess we've been lucky so far?

  3. Kaylee has hurt herself so many times at daycare. The daycare doesn't call me and I don't find out about it until I pick her up. They fill out an incident report and I get a copy of that. I'm okay with it as long as they tell me when I pick her up.

    I was in Vermont once and picked Kaylee up. Got her home and asked her to take her tights off (it was the muddy season and we had white berber carpets). When she did, she had blood in her underwear! I asked her what happened and she couldn't tell me (she was only 3). I immediately called the school and they couldn't tell me either. let me tell you, I took her to the ER and had Children's Protective Services called out because I thought Kaylee had been violated. I mean, what was I supposed to think when the school and my child can't tell me what happened? The next day, the school told me that she fell on the balance beam and she cried for a second but they forgot about it. I promptly took her out of that daycare.

    The only time that the current daycare has called me after something happened was when Kaylee got her fingers smashed in the door and they thought she broke her fingers. So I had to take her to the ER.

    I guess I'd rather they not call me when she falls down and scrapes herself but totally expect them to tell me that same day when I'm picking her up.


  4. I'm completely with you on this one - you are not overreacting. If my child is bleeding from her face, I want to know about it. Scraped knees and elbows, I can hear about later. I understand their reasoning that Lila was ok and bounced back quickly. But a heads up before picking her up would have just been a nice consideration. Mostly so my anxiety wouldn't blow through the roof at the sight of my child with a bloody face.

    Lily has been lucky so far. I don't worry about the girls at Grandma and Grandpa's house where they spend each day till about 1:30. It's Miss Kelly's house that is a little more risky. There are a lot of kids on some days. Kelly and her daughters who help... on some days... have a lot going on. We've had some bumps and bruises, but nothing that Lily doesn't get at our house as well. Now Lily's BFF? Days before her first birthday, she pulled on the tablecloth and a ginormous fire truck which was on top of the table fell on her face. That left a serious mark. Kelly called her Mom and I would expect that if anything like that happened to one of my girls that she would do the same. Hopefully it doesn't, but I'm sure at some point it will.

    Sidenote - I had a nightmare the other night that Lily fell on her face/head on concrete. I couldn't go back to sleep after I woke up and I am still bothered by it. It was rough.

  5. I think it's totally normal for you guys to be upset! A face injury is the worse kind too - it's right there, noticeable, and probably hurts more than a scraped knee!

    We've always been notified when the girls got injured at school - be it small or kind-of-a-big-deal. Their school has the policy that if the kids are in the nurses office then the parents get a call. I'm glad of that - especially because the girls ride the bus home and sometimes are not that forthcoming with information about what happened during their school day.

    Hopefully because you enforced wanting to be notified with the teacher that she'll do it if Lila were to fall again and get hurt.

  6. I have an internal struggle with this same exact thing nearly every single day... Where Avery is not injury prone, I battle with needing to know and understanding there are levels of information. Avery had a horribly bruised nose and to this day, not one person, including myself knows when or where it happened. That infuriates me. However, her daycare has been great about getting to me on big stuff and sharing the little stuff. When she was bit horribly they sent pictures and texted with me, but when she was bumped up they shared upon arrival. I think I am okay with their process as long as when they are sharing it seems like a priority... Meaning, if they wait until end of day, they best share the minute I walk in... I think I may be too relaxed about the whole process... I see your dilemma.

    And oh by the way... I am so very glad she was up and playing quickly & I love her playful smile with injury... Kids, they bounce back so fast... xoxoxoxo

  7. This exact thing happened to us (and by exact I mean every detail is the same down to the parent thinking there was marker all over her face and it being a massive scrape above her lip.) and I STILL don't know the answer to your question. Should they have called me? Warned me at reception? I mean... they could have. Was she medically injured to the point of warranting parental notification? Was there something I could have done had they alerted me earlier in the day? No.

    Did they call me the day she ran full tilt head first into the edge of a metal door? Yep. Because they wanted to give me the option of picking her up and taking her to the pedi for a head check (which of course, I did.) But that was a medical thing. This face deal... it's cosmetic. And I mean yeah, I would have liked a warning just because "OH MY GOD WTF HAPPENED TO MY BABY'S FAAAACCCCEEE?!?!?!!" but at the same time, it's not like they were trying to hide it or not discuss it. There was a boo boo report for me to fill out, we all talked about what happened, and most importantly, my child, like yours, was physically ok, easily comforted and wanted to continue playing.

    Like I said, I still don't know the right answer, and I already did this one time.

  8. I actually would not expect a call in this situation. If they weren't able to get the bleeding stopped, my child wouldn't stop crying after the incident, my child was in serious pain or broke/lost a tooth, had injury to the eyes - anything that COULD warrant a call to a medical professional... then I would expect a call. But, falls/scrapes and bruises, even to the face, are routine. I'm sure it was very shocking to see when C picked her up and I would have been equally as concerned about my child. But, I think their response was within the norm of what I would expect. (I seem to be the minority opinion, though.)

  9. Oh, poor Lila!

    That did have to be a shock to see your little one hurt.

    I can't say how I feel, what I would expect from the school or how I would react until Henry is old enough to be in school or goes to a daycare.

    But overreact or not (I think not), I still think it is good that you and the teacher are now on the same page in regards to what happens to Lila if she gets hurt at school again!

  10. I look at this issue through two lenses: my mommy lens and my teacher lens. The mommy in me says that I'd freak if I found my child's face injured and didn't know about it. The teacher in me says that if we stopped to call a parent every time a child fell, then bounced right back up, we'd never have time to teach. I completely understand that you'd prefer a heads up. It's great that you communicated to her teacher your preference for being notified, so hopefully there will be no issues in the future!

  11. Okay, so I am late chiming in, but I can totally see where you are coming from. If I showed up to see Ethan's face all scraped up, I would totally be expecting the teacher to be watching for me to tell me what happened within the first 30 seconds I entered the room. But, honestly, I would not have expected a phone call.

    And, for the record, I use Arnica like Windex on my kids too. Works like a charm and my kids rarely ask for band-aids as a result. :)

    Hugs to you all.

  12. Late chiming in here, too, but I don't think I'd expect a call in this situation. However, our preschool is set up so that I wouldn't necessarily be surprised by the time I see my gal at pick-up. When we enter the preschool, there's a binder next to the director's office where we sign the kids in/out. The few times there's been an injury, the director is there to tell me what happened and to give me a copy of the injury report. If it's something that would require action on my part (a trip to the doctor, etc.), then I'd expect a call.


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