SLEEP WOES. Help. If not solved, toddler will be for sale.

There are so many great things about this baby sleeping on a shelf. Awesome.
Oh peeps, we've got some SLEEP ISSUES [insert foot stomping] in the casa these days.

I can speak for my husband when I say, "Omg. WeAreSoTired. WeAreSoTired."

I need help. I need suggestions. I need a sound-proof room. I need at least 6-8 hours of UNINTERRUPTED sleep.

Background info:
  • Lila is almost 2.5 years old. She's been sleeping in a "big girl bed" (toddler bed/crib/thing) since she was about 18 months old with little to no issues. She'd lay down, go to sleep, wake up, the end. She's been potty-trained for about 7 months now. She has no bed wetting issues, afraid of the dark, afraid of her room issues, blah, blah, blah. She's in a separate room from her sister. They do, however, share a common wall.
  • Vivienne is almost 10 months old and admittedly I've done "sleep training" a bit differently with her. We abide by the "drowsy-but-awake" rule and for the most part, Vivienne is a great sleeper. I have, however, rushed in when she's crying more frequently than I did with Lila solely because I don't/didn't want Vivi's crying to wake Lila. 
Where we are today:
  • Vivi goes to bed around 7:15 pm after her last feeding of the night. She then sleeps, usually, if LILA CAN KEEP HER MOUTH SHUT, until about 6-7 am. Beautiful. I'm convinced she'd sleep longer... if she didn't have an older [louder] sister. (NO, I do not wonder where Lila's constant outside-voice comes from. I know me.)
  • Lila goes to bed after Vivienne - around 7:30-7:45 p.m. and...

NOW, she used to get up about 3-5 times a night BEFORE she fell asleep. Now she's getting up a boat-load of times AFTER she falls asleep.

It is driving us INSANE.

She opens her door and then walks down the hall to wherever we are and stands there.

She never really has a "need."

Does she need to use the potty? No. Is she crying or sad? No. Does she need a drink? No. It's like, "Hey. I'm here. Hovering. In your business. When I should be in bed."

How do we normally handle this?

We scoop her up, put her back in bed and tell her not to get out of bed again.


1.) We are not co-sleepers so we don't welcome her with open arms into our bed. We've done this before. We all hate it. No one sleeps.

2.) We've attempted bribery. "If you stay in bed, you can have a ________ in the morning."


4.) We've attempted to have Fergie sleep with her. (You know, in case she was lonely.) It didn't go over well. "Bergie, out. Out of Lila's bad. OUT."

The child is not AFRAID of her bed or her room, she simply doesn't want to be in it.

Monday night this get-back-in-the-bed dance lasted from about 11 pm to 5 am. It was hell.
We'd scoop Lila up and put her back in bed, she would SCREAM AND WAIL about the injustice of it all and ... then wake up Vivienne who would proceed to SCREAM in solidarity with her sister.

This happened about 3 times just that night alone.

Wednesday night [out of desperation] we locked her door [go ahead and gasp -- we have a VIDEO monitor. We can see and hear it all.] and told her that when the door is locked, she cannot COME OUT OF HER ROOM and she needs to get back into bed.

She yelled, "Mommy, Daddy... open de door! Open de door!" for 45 minutes and finally got back into bed and went to sleep. (Score!) (Keep in mind that meanwhile, Vivi is screaming because she's aware that there is a very loud disturbance just feet from her.)

So we tried that AGAIN last night, and what do you know -- SHE UNLOCKED the door and floated right into our room again.

"Hi Mommy."

So clearly locking the door isn't the solution.



Keep in mind that we aren't spankers. We just don't go there.


Comments, please.



**I am trying an idea from a co-worker. He says to scoop Lila up each and every time she gets out of bed and to not say a WORD to her. Just scoop, back to bed. Scoop, back to bed. She's getting attention each time we pick her up and with this potential solution, she won't be getting attention and in theory she'll get bored with this whole getting up, back to bed routine.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Until then, more suggestions, please.



  1. I've heard of people taking the door knob off and turning it around. That way you are really locking her in the room and there's no way she can get out! And could you turn a fan on in V's room so she can't hear the screams??

  2. Ugh...sounds like little Ms. Lila is trying to be 3. ;)

    Do the girls have sound machines? I think they are the best invention ever! If either girl is having sleep issues, we don't have to worry because they can't hear a thing. Works wonders for OUR worrying.

    Second, with S around that age, nothing else worked for punishment except taking things away. She wouldn't want to sleep at night, would sit up in her bed and either cry or play/talk/sing/etc. LOUD. We'd go back in and tell her if she didn't lay down and go back to sleep, she'd lose her favorite teddy bear (the one she LOVES and sleeps with). Of course, she wouldn't want to lose it, so she'd go to sleep. Well, then, they start not believing you...testing you. So, you HAVE to be mean and take it away. Insert crying uncontrollably. Fun. Over time though, she learned that we weren't kidding. If she doesn't listen, she loses her 'friends'.

    Hope something works for Lila soon so you can get some sleep!!

  3. I am sorry. I don't have any advice for you but I hope this is a passing phase that ends SOON.

  4. So you are telling me NOT to move Josie out of her bed...EVER...because I can see her doing the exact same thing! Ohhhh man. I will stay tuned to see what works. ( j is so much like Lila...will not sleep in our bed, loud, serious, I could go on!)

  5. We had to put a gate up for Anna. I hated it, but I was also soooo tired of exactly what you describe. I think part of it is they are realizing, "Hey, I'm in charge of what I do, so I'm going to _____________." Whether that means refuse to follow directions, not stay in bed, or refuse to wear anything but a certain shirt for 5 days straight.

    So we put up a gate. There were nights when we'd find her asleep on the floor at the gate, and she had obviously been listening down the hall to hear what we were doing- I think that's another thing is they don't want to miss any fun. Eventually she stopped.

    I have found the Melissa & Doug chart to be super helpful. You can totally manipulate it how you want. Email me if you want more info on how we use it. :-) Hang in there!

  6. 1. I really am sorry I'm loling.

    2. Sound machine for Vivi!

    3. Your coworker sounds totally on point.

    4. This is how I've been sleeping since 2007.

  7. Have you heard about the stop light sleep enhancing clock that the light stays red until you set it to turn green, letting the kid know it's okay to get up. It sounds like a cool idea, if it actually works.


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