Do we need siblings?

4/14/2011 04:08:00 AM

Do you remember the show, Sisters? I loved it. (See here.)
 Remember, they all had "boy" names? Fun.

I just keep thinking about Grumbles & Grunt's post from Monday. It's all about siblings. And children. And families. As those of you who read her blog know, she's a mom to one. She herself is a single child and just doesn't know when/if she and her husband are going to expand their family. Kind of like, "...if it ain't broken..."

The post is here.

And, the post generated some fantastic comments that I loved reading.

So, I wanted to continue the discussion here.

Ah, sibling relationships...

We all know siblings who are literally joined at the hip. And we all know siblings who would try to break each other's hip.

Where do you fall? Do you adore your siblings or not? Do want to have more than one child, why or why not?

I'll give you my quick familial run down.

(Click to make larger, if you so desire to see the tree from which I come.)

I'm one of six. I've been both the baby and the oldest sibling. (Figure that out.) I've even been an only child for about 8 years. I have close siblings and not-close siblings. I have cousins who stood in as siblings.

So spill it.

1. How many siblings, if any, do you have?
2. Do you have relationships with those siblings? What are they like?
3. Do you have children? If so, how many? How did you decide on that number?
4. If you are childless by choice, what influence did your immediate family have on your decision?
5. If you are childless for other reasons, do you want children? How many? Why?

What are your feelings on sibling relationships?
What are your feelings regarding having more than one child?

Thanks for sharing, sweet blog readers.

**My answers:

1. I have five siblings. None are "biologically full" but I'd never in a million years call them "half" siblings. Ever. I have 3 brothers and 2 sisters.
2. I have regular (I talk to them nearly every day) relationships with 3 out of the 5.
3. I have kids. Two. The first we wanted desperately. The second was the best surprise of our lives.  We knew we wanted more than one, we just didn't know when we wanted the second.

As I said on Grumbles & Grunts blog, at best I hope that Lila and Vivienne are best friends. At worst, I hope they can get together and complain about me and be cordial to one another.

I didn't have Vivienne for Lila -- even though I truly think sisterhood is pretty incredible. As selfish as it sounds, both of those ladies were for Craig and I. If they just so happen to end up being uber-good friends later on in life, well, that would be great, too.



  1. i have a twin brother, so i can't imagine growing up and having an identity of my own (i mean, i was my own person, but there were not milestones that i did NOT share with my brother - all the way through masters degree graduation on the same day).

    we were a surprise and 2 months early (surprise babies and surprise that there were 2 of us instead of one the day we entered the word).

    needless to say, there were no more siblings after us.

    our relationship has been changing and going from good to best to okay to not okay to fine over the past few years.

    i'm glad i have a twin and a brother. i've always wanted a sister though, but have been blessed to have incredible women friends. i'm so grateful for them.

    i have no kids b/c i want to be married first, so working on that at the moment. but i want them for sure. not sure how many, etc.

    thank you for drawing the tree! i should have had you draw it years ago as i'm such a visual person and what was sort of confusing is less so!

  2. Love the diagram!

    I have 1 younger brother. We're 22 months apart... he was a surprise baby (I just found that out!). I remember getting along with him well until he was about 4 and stopped doing everything I told him to. (ha!) Growing up, we fought constantly. When I went off to college, things got better, but we're still not close.

    No kids... but thinking about it!

    I'd like to have 2, possibly 3. Even though my sibling relationship isn't great, I think having a sibling teaches life lessons that one may not otherwise learn until later - how to deal with conflict, how to compromise and how to share. Also, how to be unselfish (which is something I think my brother still hasn't quite grasped).

  3. I have 0 siblings. It was great when I was a kid and my parents were still married. I got everything I wanted. When they got divorced, I didn't get much of anything I wanted (usually it's the opposite). But as an adult I would LOVE to have siblings. That is the one thing I would change about my life - if I could.

    It would be great if I could share my parents' craziness with someone. Why do I have to be the only one to endure this stuff :)

    I have 1 child on the way and I would like to have at least one more. I think siblings are important, since I have 0!

    I am 33. I have taken this long because I wanted to focus on myself, my career, and I wanted to be sure I was ready. I'm ready! And I'm now with the right person.

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  5. Good post, and I love your family map. :)

    I am fortunate to have two living parents, married 40 years, and a younger sister and brother. My sister and I are best friends.

    We would be lucky to get pregnant once, and I sort of hope for twins because I don't know what I'd do without my sibs.

  6. Wow - I haven't thought about that show in ages. My sisters and I used to watch it all the time!!

    As for my opinion on siblings - DEFINITELY OH MY GOSH COMPLETELY.

    We've had such a hard time getting this first one (tho check out my post today!!!!)...that sometimes I'm afraid of how much time and money we'll spend to get 2-3, but after growing up as one of five, I cannot IMAGINE not having siblings. We are all quite close (9 years apart total), and I talk to them all frequently. Love love love siblings.

  7. I loved SISTERS. Now I watch BROTHERS & SISTERS.
    I have one older brother. We are not close. I found out a few years ago he doesn't like me. Long story.
    I think siblings can be good. They can also be a pain in the bleep.
    I have two kids and plan on a third. I use to think I wanted 4. But now three sounds right. I don't have them for them. I like the idea of big family dinners and large gatherings. People to take care of me when I am old. Of course this is my idealistic world. It may backfire on me terribly.
    But I hope my boys can be close someday, with each other and with another one if it happens.

  8. I have 5 older sisters and 4 older brothers. Same parents. No duplicates. There really wasn't anything 'bad' that I can think of in growing up in this large family. Then again, I am the youngest, so probably got it the best. Lots of sharing and 'paying your way' for things, such as new bikes, drivers license, college, etc. Nowadays, I don't know how anyone can do it financially, but they somehow do! For those who have the gusto, I say go for it, it is the best thing knowing you have all that support.
    I am close to a couple sisters and a couple bros, but the older ones, not so much. But we all would do anything for each other.
    I have 1 daughter and 1 on the way and am thinking I'll stop at that. Purely selfish reasons; I don't think I can handle anymore. Ha!

  9. LOVE the family map! Reminds me of our blogger map (which I also love).

    I have two sisters of which I am the middle and we are very close. Both parents are alive and well (never better!)

    Getting married and will hope for a family of our own.

    We are blessed people.

  10. PS - I always loved how all the "sisters" had boys names.


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