Um, yeah... I'm going to have to pass...

8/12/2009 11:08:00 PM
There's a lot going on in the fashion-world right now that's throwing me for a loop.

However, I must express where I stand on one most-important item:

I'm going to have a hard time getting on board the harem pants train.


You don't know what "harem parents" are?

That's because you and I used to call them "Hammer pants" and we wore them back in '89 along with our Blossom hats.

They're tapered-leg, cropped pants that sport a high waist and a long crotch. (Odd combo, I know.)

Right now these gems are on sale at Neiman Marcus for the low-low, bargain-basement price of $385.00.

It appears that this model is in the process of actually doing Hammer's signature move...

Now, the price for these pants is more on target.
At Kmart.

Hee hee.

Seriously, though... these pants look TERRIBLE on short people and stupid on 95% of the population. I can count on my hand exactly TWO people who could pull them off. One is related to me, the other is a fellow-blogger friend.

Seacrest out.


  1. NOOOOOOOO!!!!! There are just some trends that are better left in the past.

    They are freakin ugly. You couldn't pay me $300+ bucks to wear them.

  2. why would anyone think these were the HOT item to bring back? who makes these decisions? that person should be exiled from fashion. forever.

    i have to wonder why the ugly 'trends' from the 80s and early 90s are the trends that always come back?

    next thing you know, everyone will be wearing scrunchies again.

  3. For reals???????????

    This is marketing at its best. All the dumb teenagers with no brain will run out and buy these because they have no idea what looks good on them.


    This is one of the instances where I am glad I am 30 and not 19.

  4. Um, I went to a festival-type-thing recently and saw an ENTIRE DISPLAY devoted to handmade scrunchies. OMG. The world does not need scrunches OR Hammer pants. They looked bad at the time, they still look bad. (And trying to gild the lily by calling them "harem pants" ain't foolin' nobody.) They're probably also making those plastic things to tie your T-shirt off to the side, and encouraging young people to peg their pants.

    In conclusion: These pants are the saddest thing ever.

    Thank you, Kylee, for giving us an advance warning about what we're all up against. $385 -- that's a crime against humanity in and of itself, even if I LIKED the pants.

    I dare someone to buy the $8 K-Mart ones and wear them to work or out in public and be like, "What?" when people give you a look. :) That someone, however, shan't be me.

  5. I blame this new reintroduction of the harem pant on "The Fashion Show" One of the contestents labeled the pants as the must have item of the season and developed an entire set of outfits around it. It looked ugly 20 years ago, and it looks ugly now! yuk!

  6. That is one hot tranny mess.

    Wait... is saying that out of fashion too?

  7. I would love to see if Trophy Life could pull these off. Really the girl can wear almost any pants in any size. It's unreal.

    Thanks for the laugh!


  8. Are you making fun of MC Hammer?

    I'm wearing them to Christmas dinner.

  9. Those are just awful. Do you read the Go Fug Yourself blog? I've seen a lot of rompers on there as of late. Jean rompers too. Ick. That's almost just as bad as these Hammer pants. Almost.

  10. I've been searching for that perfect pair of pants to enlarge my ass and thighs. Finally!

    I believe we have a bunch of polygymists to thank for this.

  11. Dang it, well I guess I am going to have to return your Christmas present and think of something else. Should I also return the black lace leggings I got for you as well? sigh


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