Produce Report:
She's a papaya for the WHOLE month!

2/23/2009 06:00:00 AM
For the entirety of month five, Little Miss Lila Ross is a papaya. I accept this. I love papaya. Yum. And from what I hear, it's quite good for pregnant women.

What's going on with Lila this week? Well, apparently she's an eavesdropper. (I think that out of all of the "droppers" -- name, panty, etc. -- eaves is the best.) She's listening to everything we're saying and is developing an awake/asleep schedule.

Let's get down to biznass:

Q. Is she moving around like crazy?
A. Our little papaya is indeed active. Usually she moves around right before I eat (to tell me it's time to eat) and right after I eat. (I think she's doing a interpretive dance within the womb to express her elation that we have just eaten. I get it. Food is great.)

She also likes to move around at night when I lie down to go to sleep. It's been more fun for C. lately, too. He can actually feel her a bit more.

Q. How am I sleeping?
A. Really great now that I'm not forcing myself to sleep on my flippin' sides. (A big sarcastic THANK YOU you to ALL of the pregnancy books that make you feel like a jerk with a death wish for your unborn child for sleeping on your side after 15 weeks.) My doctor (and from what I hear, everyone else's doctor) agrees that when it's necessary for me to start sleeping on my sides - my body will do it naturally. In other words, it'll no longer be comfortable for me to sleep on my back eventually. So for now? I'm sleeping on my back AND my sides. And I'm happy.

Q. How's the pre-baby reading going?
A. You know, when I first got pregnant I became a member of 4 baby-related websites and started reading approximately six pregnancy books simultaneously. Over the past couple of months I stopped. Comparing yourself to anyone else (especially during pregnancy) is a slippery slope. I've chilled out. I still read, I'm just more discriminating. The likelihood of developing some sort of crazy pregnancy/baby obsession has waned. I'm the type that craves balance after I overdo anything. (As you'll see in the next question.)

Q. If the pregnancy police could haul you in for one offense, what would they charge you with?
A. Eating chocolate Betty Crocker frosting out of the jar.
Q. If I could arrest the pregnancy police for one thing, what would I charge them with?
A. The stupidity of not being able to drink my herbal teas during pregnancy. I miss my a.m. green tea so much. I'm drinking red raspberry leaf tea and also mint tea (de-caff), but I miss my green tea. Blech.

Q. How's your congestion?
A. SO MUCH BETTER! I even quit the crack pipe. (Afrin) It was a tough few days as I was de-toxing, but I'm happy I did it.

Q. Any cravings?
A. You know, not really. I just require dessert after dinner. Easy as that. And, I must eat when I get hungry. Immediately.

Q. How's registering going?
A. SUPER! I made great strides this week. And I bought myself a baby bag as a reward. (See below.)
Final Thought: (Remember when Jerry Springer used to do his, "Final Thought" on all of his terrible shows? He'd allow those people to act horrendously throughout the hour-long crazy-fest, then he'd get all high-and-mighty and explain why they were all trash. What a dork. I wonder what he's up to now. I digress... )

I am in awe that I will be holding our little muffin (or papaya) in my arms in approximately 4 months. I'm floored. I just hope I don't screw her up. I mean, in all honesty - I don't want to mess my spawn up. I know that EVERYONE has "parent' issues. I'm slowly coming to terms that I'll more than likely be an issue for Lila at some point...

To deter this whole "issue" thing I intend to provide boundaries and a ridiculous amount of love and humor. I'm hoping she's accepting.

Thank goodness C. is involved.

End of the Final Thought.


  1. I can't believe it is only 4 months away....that is crazy!

    "To deter this whole "issue" thing I intend to provide boundaries and a ridiculous amount of love and humor." That sounds like great parenting to me!! :)

    P.S. That baby bag is WAY cute!!

  2. I just love this. There is nothing more to say. This has left me smiling in my office chair. Kisses to the papyaya muffin!

  3. fun produce report.... as usual. and OMG -- i LOVE the baby bag. care to share the details? happy monday!

  4. Abbe - got the baby bag here:

  5. thanks for sharing the link! here's one of my fav baby items -- i've given these to at least 5 mom-to-be friends and all have given rave reviews. i figure that's worth something. :)

  6. Have you heard that Mama Paquita song? Its all about buying your baby a papaya. I sang it all the way through your post.

    Glad the congestion is better. Glad you don't have to sleep uncomfortably. Dropper - panty made me laugh really hard.

  7. Great update. You'll know when it's time to sleep on your side when you find yourself waking up on your back, gasping for air. Fun times.

    You won't mess her up. Sounds like you have a fantastic parenting plan.


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