Produce Report: It's a lemon this week.

12/29/2008 04:15:00 PM
So after my proclamation last week that I was indeed with child I received a few questions. I'd like to address them now. Why not? To the world? On my blog?

Q: How do you feel?
A: Awesome. Like normal. Only difference? My pants are tighter and my up-top, while sizably larger, is sizably more painful, too. Oh and, NO morning sickness. (I'd like to offer an apology to all women who've had to deal with morning sickness. I'd like to think this was God's way of saying, "Sweetie pie, you've been through enough. Here's your get-out-of-jail-free card.")

Q: Do you know what you're having? Do you have a "sense"?
A: We're assuming right now it's either a boy or girl because if I actually do birth a fruit, all of this fertility nonsense would totally be in vain. Do I have a "sense" of what it is? Like all pregnant women in the world? Nope. Not at all. Everyone keeps saying it's a girl. I think because of that I keep saying it's a boy.

Q: Are you going to find out?
A: In the beginning I didn't want to know, but C. sees no other option. So, we'll end up finding out. Besides, in our house we really don't think buttery yellow and mint green are, "gender neutral." We want to know if it's pink or blue. Our goal is to promote the continuance of gender stereotypes.

Q: Are you going to have the baby in Mexico or the U.S.?
A: I don't know. As Denise Richards knows all-too-well, it's complicated.

Q: If you have the baby in Mexico, will it be a U.S. Citizen?
A: Indeed, it will be an Americana. The wee one will be considered an, "American citizen born abroad" and would have dual citizenship. Thankfully, the lemon can still be the president of the U.S.A. or potentially complete on either the Mexican or American Olympic teams. (No pressure, though.)

Q: Do you have names picked out?
A: Yes. But I always like to hear ideas.

Q: Are you having any cravings?
A: My standard answer: "No more than what I had when we initially moved here." I would love to see more strawberry un-frosted pop tarts in Los Cabos, Wendy's frosty's, Arby's roast beef sandwiches and those little pecan spinwheels that come in the metal tray in the bakery section of grocery stores. Nothing's changed.

Q: When is the estimated date of arrival for the fruit?
A: June 29, 2009.

Q: How do you feel about labor?
A: Let's just say I'm physically incapable of watching those birthing t.v. shows. I only watch the ones where they safely bring HOME the baby. I'm sure my opinions will change but at this point, I don't want to do it.

Q: Will you have a natural birth?
A: As far as I'm concerned the idea of pushing a watermelon out of my..."area" is not natural... That said, I'm not above epidurals or any type of pain-assisting drug. I got nuthin' to prove so long as the fruit safely exits my body and enters the world.

Note: I think the baby blog will start as soon as we know what it is. It'll be easier for the family (grandmas in particular) to keep up with photos...


  1. I also enjoyed this post immensely. Yay for no morning sickness!!!! I'm thinking you should just move back to the states now. Being pregnant in June in Mexico June heat is enough to just throw you right over the edge!!!! :)

    Praise God for your little "lemon".

  2. YAY! I love reading this and somehow being part of what's going on with you, C and the lemon.

  3. YAY!! love the update! And I think your guess on little lemon being either a boy or girl is a good one :)

    Can't wait for the new blog!

  4. Thanks for the update!!! Delivered so beautifully/humorously per usual! Can't wait to read all about it on your new blog:)

    Hope you had a great holiday and Happy New Year!!!

  5. You graciously said you were open to suggestions for baby names.

    I like Veronica; Roni for short. (It's a little off the beaten path, but I like it.) It's the name I would have chosen for our daughter; however, somewhere along the line I agreed that T. would name our daughter because I named our son. ;)

  6. Loved the update.

    PS If you two were celebrities and you combined your names for the baby it would be Kaig (keg). HAHAH!

  7. Wow, I missed this one entirely!



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