Oscar 2018 Fashion Recap

3/04/2018 11:18:00 PM


So, I before I started writing this Oscar 2018 Fashion recap I saw my best dressed of the night and my JAW dropped. It's funny, because the same person who I will be writing about I once criticized on the regular. But I tell ya, the past few years... she's been dressing AMAZINGLY.

Ok, let's get down to business.

(How are you? Well? Good? I hope so.)

**Oops, before we start, I have to tell you -- my Oscar-viewing partners were amazing this year. I've got the husband to the right. He honestly weighs in on all of this.... until he falls asleep. (Nothing better than a best friend who supports you all the time.) Over to my catty/kitty-corner right (which is correct? catty? kitty? I don't have time for this.) is my mother-in-law, whom, I adore. Ya'll, I feel bad for you if your have a jerk mother-in-law, because I won.the.lottery. (She just brought me a cheese plate.)

#winning


Ok, let's begin.


So, it appears that there were a lot of nude colors, a lot of deep V's and... some incredible structured gowns at this year's Oscars.

Allison Williams, as seen above, killed it. This Armani Prive gown was STUNNING. Wow.
It went with her skin... perfectly.

Still, I just don't think that this flattered her as well as it could.

Friendly wave, though.

That counts for something.


Next, we have Abbie Cornish looking very Fleetwood Mac-inspired.

Eh.

I don't like to wear spiderwebs.

This gown is just too much.


Here's Elisabeth Moss in Christian Dior. That fabric triangle at the top by her up-top slays me.

It reminds me of something the Duggers would market as a "modesty square."

It drives me batty.

#sidehug


I thought that Mira Sorvino looked lovely in this Romona Keveza gown. I adore it. Butttttttttt... it looks a little juvenile. 

But I do like it. I'd just probably wouldn't wear the train.

Eh.



























This is seriously going to be me.

No questions asked.

I love how Agnes Varda is totally dressed to the 9's on top... but her shoes are straight up Rockports.

Ya'll, be reasonable with what you're wearing.

If you have hammer toes, or any foot issues, dress appropriately.


Nope.

This deep V is too deep.

She's stunning, that's not the question. But it's just too deep.



Have you watched Lady Bird? We watched it last night.

This is fine. I have no thoughts either way.

It's like a table cloth. Who thinks twice about a table cloth?


Good for you, Ashley Judd.

I respect you.

That's all.


Emma Stone is wearing a color-combo that I always love. Red and pink make me happy.

I don't feel like this Louis Vuitton is earth-shattering. But, it's fine.


You're wearing crazy fringe.

Enough with that necklace.

This is just too much for me, Gail Gadot.

eh.


Greta Gerwig is wearing Rodarte and... I love it.

Ya'll, this color is very difficult to wear. I wear yellow and I swear I look like a bruise. Greta Gerwig wear this and looks stunning.

Life is not overwhelmingly fair. But I did go to a Lionel Richie concert and get to hug him, so... maybe we can square it all up in the end.


When I was little, my favorite Crayola crayon was midnight blue.

It just COLORED SO NICELY.

Helen Mirren is midnight blue.

Wow.


I think Jennifer Lawrence looked supremely awkward but... great. Love that hair.

(I really hope perms come back.)

I love this Christian Dior gown. Perfection.



Do Kelly Ripa  and Mark Consuelos EVER AGE?

What is wrong with them?

(By the way: I love a butt bow.)


It's a halter.

So, no.


Lindsey Vonn came straight from Britney Spears' look-alike concert in Vegas the Olympics.

Yay.

I hate this.


I LOVE THIS.

This gown on Laura Dern was perfection. Lovely.


Margot Robbie is wearing tinsel.

She's literally wearing what I used to decorate the produce section at Kroger when I was in college.

(Did you know that I was the store decorator? Big deal.)

I loathe this. So boring.


Zoey Deutch looks fine. I enjoy the tiers on this gown because quite frankly, it reminds me of cake and I love cake.


Mary J. Blige looked STUNNING in this Atelier Versace.

Wow.

Truly, she looked so stunning.


I'm so sorry, but I hate this.

I wish I liked it.

I actually have looked at it again and again. ButI just don't.

This is also how I feel about capers and olives.

I hate them.

But I wish I liked them.


I mean, it's Meryl Streep. She's fine. Everything's fine.


Paz Vega kills it EVERY TIME.

We've got a print. (win)

We've got great hair. (win)

We've got color. (win)

This is amazing.

I adore this Christopher Bu gown.


She's JUST 23?

When I was 23 I was doing nothing of particular consequence, least of all wearing a super cute pink Calvin Klein gown to an awards show.

Saoirse Una Ronan is a cutie-pie.


This gown on Salma Hayek intimidates me.

It's like a threatening easter egg.

And those tiers?

NO.

(P.S. My comments on her gown do not negate my respect for her.)


I don't even want to tell you how many times I've seen The Proposal.

I love Sandra Bullock and this is fine. Whatever. I was just happy to see her.

(This is an unattractive gown, though. Someone? Let the record state such.)


Who is St Vincent? I think the biggest issue with this is the hose.

Let's not bring back hose, mmm kay?


Ok, so can we talk about what I hated?

Here are my worst dressed folks.

Whoppi Goldberg, I love a print.

But, this is just sloppy.

Blech.


Speaking of sloppy.

Andra Day, sigh.

This is a trainwreck.


This totally makes it better.

(What is she doing? Stop it. She actually chose to lay on the carpet? Need attention much?)


Finally, my last Worst Dressed: Jane Fonda.

She just appears to have the worst attitude.

Eeek.

Terrifying.



And then my favorites?

First,  Gina Rodriguez looks STUNNING. I adored this Christina Dior Couture gown. WOW.

This is perfection.

It's whimsical.
THIS IS THE PERFECT DEEP V.
That belt.
All of it.

Perfection.





Next, Jennifer Garner.

Doesn't she look lovely!?

She looks strong and beautiful and I'll be honest, it's just nice to see her.




And... my jaw actually dropped for this lady.

Nicole Kidman KILLED IT.

YOU GUYS.

I'm in bold, ALL CAPS. WOW.






This gown is PERFECTION.

Oh my gosh. This Armani Prive gown is STUNNING. The sheen of the gown. The cut. The structure.

It is STUNNING.

::

Ok, ya'll. What did you think?

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