MET Gala 2017 Fashion Recap



GAH. I think I love writing about the annual Met Ball as much as I enjoy writing about the Oscars.

Maybe I enjoy writing about the Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute Benefit a bit more. It's a black-tie affair always held the first Monday of May. It raises money for the Costume Institute and there's always a theme.

This year the theme was, "Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art of the In-Between."

I have no idea what that means (but I do know the designer's name is Rei Kawakubo), but that absolutely will not prohibit me from offering my opinions on this blog post. (I'm happy to offer my political opinions at any time, as well. Though, I mostly reserve those for twitter. I'm @twoPretzels.)

FIRST: Rhianna. She KILLS IT EVERY SINGLE YEAR.

THIS.

Oh, this is so great.

So, so cool. This is art.

Love it.

Yes.

You win.

THIS is what I want to see at the MET Gala.

(Incidentally, I'm bummed that Sarah Jessica Parker couldn't make it this year. So sad.)

Those shoes. Yes.

Now that that's out of the way:

Let's get it started with the wonder woman who single-handedly sets the fashion tone for all of the world: Anna Wintour, icon and editor-in-chief of Vogue. She always wears Chanel. And she always looks perfect.

Note: It's illegal to say otherwise. You've seen The Devil Wears Prada. You understand. Thank you.



So one of the co-chairs of the event was Katy Perry.

This is sort of the female version of Captain Jack Sparrow meets devil zombie bride + a tulle explosion.

It just looks... so angry to me.

I don't need that in my life.

Namaste.




I love Solange.

Fashion has clearly stolen her smile (taking a page from the Victoria Beckham handbook, I see). Still, I appreciate a woman who is prepped for anything.  Party all.night.long? YUP. Then what? THEN SHE FALLS on her back and boom! She's on her sleeping bag. Zip me up, turn off the light and... scene.

And that small bag? Her toothbrush.

See? Right?

This is the fanciest thing she could find at REI and I think we can all agree it's exactly what we'd wear.


Now, this is more like it. I appreciate the edginess and the femininity. FUN.


Yes! More! It's a SUIT. With lights. I love all of this. SO cool. Perfectly tailored. Love.

"Her hair!" Craig said. So cool.


Yeah, I don't know.

Claire Danes' styling looks amazing... and I know off-the-shoulder ruffles are in....

Hmm... I like it. I do.

I don't think the photograph did it justice.


I hate this.

Dakota Johnson is lovely, I'm sure. Still, I cannot ABIDE this gown.


When I go to a restaurant, you can expect a few things from me:

1.) I will never order fajitas. I refuse to assemble my own food. THAT IS WHY I WENT OUT TO EAT.

2.) I will not eat fondue. Too many opportunities for the food to fall off the stick and again: why would I want to make my own food when I went out to eat?

So, in that same vein, I refuse to go to an event and carry around my butt bow.

Bummer for Emmy Rossum.


Katie Holmes, who I feel like we should be calling Kate by now, is wearing Zac Posen and it's boring.

She does look lovely, though. I just think it's boring.

This is your chance to wear mirrors, tulle, netting, feathers... you name it!

Go big. DO TOLEDO PROUD.


Why didn't someone wipe the lipstick off of Courtney Love's face?

Why is she always such a mess?

In other news:  Frances Cobain's eyes.



I adore this. I'm not sure I love the top, but I LOVE the bottom.

As do the girls.

Vivi says the top is "inappropriate," though. I concur. I mean, she's six.


LOVE.

I love all of this.

Are those pant-boots?

If so, where can I get a pair?

And, I love the scarf. Chic.


Eh.

This Ralph Lauren trench is doing nothing for me.

It's khaki.

AT THE MET GALA.


Jaden Smith is carrying his hair.

His hair that he cut off.

And talked about on social media.

He brought his hair.

SOMEONE has got to teach the kids that every life change doesn't warrant public interest.

And, that's gross.

It's a hygiene thing.



Riley Keough looks cool. And cute. This is fun.


Anger.

This dress.

That face.

Anger.

But man.

Perfectly tailored.

But I hope Rose Byrne is ok.


THIS is how you do red.

I want to be Helen's friend. (She's wearing the designer, Rei Kawakubo. And she's brave.)

And from what I understand, it took more than 45,000 neoprene can coozies and 87 pot holders to make this.

I'd call it a masterpiece.



Oh, I love this on Ruth Negga. Sculptural and awesome.

Is it a print? I don't understand. Love.


I'm pretty sure Zoe Kravitz is flawless.  I love the pink dress. I love the cape. I'm not sure about stuffing the clown hair in the up-top and sewing it to the arms.

But... I mean...

Ok.


And this is how it's done.


And this is not how it's done.

(Get up, Puffy.)

[insert eye roll]


These three are SO boring that I must conserve my energy and save up any potential wittiness for something better.




Bring the drama. Bring it. I love this.

So Victor/Victoria.



Whoa.

Gorgeous.

Feather-duster and all.


It's so funny, because I was just thinking about potential family picture outfits for this summer in Ohio and I think this would be phenomenal in, say white? For the middle of our local metro-park?

Nothing says, "Merry Christmas" like a body sock stocking.


If you're still not convinced.


This makes me laugh.

What a despondent, misshapen little sailor.

I honestly look at this and laugh.

(I'm laughing right now. Are you?)

Everything is sad in this picture: that facial expression, those sleeves, the lapels, that tie... all of it.

Bonus? IT kinda looks likes that jacket just might be reversible!  (There's always a bright side, friends.)


I do think Kylie Jenner's gown is lovely but for those of us who can both remember and not handle phone cords, I would imagine this would be slightly difficult to maintain.

Those little cords hanging down would ALWAYS be getting tangled, right?

Nope.

Can't do it.


This is CHAIN.

That poor girl had to sit on CHAINS.


Truth be told, when it comes to fashion I'd rather watch these two sisters rather than the two above.

Killing it.

Say what you will, I think Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen look great. (Remember, they don't go by "The Olsen Twins" anymore. They're grown.)

And consistently congenial. I mean they EXUDE warmth.

Honestly, though - they look cool.



This is so bad.


This is good. I love Sarah Paulson.

And it is perfectly tailored. And feathers always win. (Slightly boring. It's navy.)


This is very Martha-Washington-goes-to-the-Met.

I would have NEVER chosen that fabric.

Land's End made this gown? Yes?


Sofia Richie is cute.

And I would never say anything negative about her fashion choices because: duh, Lionel.

Cute little leather jacket accessory.


I adore that Caroline Kennedy wore the designer's gown. LOVE THIS.



My FAVORITES:

First off: Tracee Ellis Ross looks AMAZING. And, she's wearing the designer that this whole gala is recognizing, so... she wins.

I adore this.



Secondly, this has nothing to do with Ryan Reynolds, but I love Blake Lively's gown. Perfection.

I mean, feathers.

That matching bow-tie though on Deadpool? Eh.

Just be cool, Ryan. Be cool.


Look at that perfect gaze into the distance.

#moviestar



And my favorite, I LOVE this. It's a PRINT. It includes ORANGE. It's grand and avant garde and... I love it.

Zendaya looks AMAZING, from head to toe in this Dolce & Gabbana masterpiece.

(You know I love a print.)


Wow.



And my worst dressed?

Scroll back up and look at Katy Perry again.

And for good measure? Madonna.

At least her booty is covered up this year.

Still...



(There are SO many more amazing gowns. Take a peek on the google and here.)

And, don't forget to tell me what you thought

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3 comments:

  1. my faves were Zendaya and Pryanka (yes, the giant trench coat - LOVE). Madonna needs to retire already. And Diddy can sit down. And. And. And.

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    Replies
    1. I love your comments! Thank you. And seriously, Madonna? Enough.

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  2. Don't tell Anna but she needs to Evolve or Vanish. Katy Perry Gross. Solange Pool Floatie gone wild and so wrong. Dakota I like from the boobies down. Butt Bow U R 2 funny. Katie Holmes I love her dress the sleeves the flamingo style and ruffles. Courtney go back to rehab. LOve the pink cotton candy skirt Vivi is correct another top. In the olden days we would of worn a simple Ralph Lauren T shirt with this over the top skirt. I love the Ralph trench love the over sized collar and the long circle train. Jaden needs to flush the hair. Riley is huba huba Elvis. Rose don't like the top ask Vivi. Neoprene is for wetsuits and hot new swimsuits. Zoe I agree with U. Puffy is stuck up and weird. Feather duster is good for the Met. I'll make you the body stocking you bring me the fabric and We will do a photo shoot. Little sailor needs to ship out. Rylie is Kool enough to know how to work that fringe. Mary Kate and Ashley lovely in lace Perfection. Sara I love you but your dress is boring. Sofia needs a new top ask Vivi. Caroline looks like a pinata, so sorry. Tracee very cool in ice blue. Blake is winner winner chicken dinner. and I love her and her dress. BUT the best of the best is just as you said Zendaya. I want that dress its my color and I have the hair! Love Pepita #cabodesigner

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