2017 Grammy Red Carpet Fashion Recap


So I usually don't write about the Grammy's just because, well, I don't normally watch them. And, the fashion drives me nuts. I like pretty gowns. I like chic looks. I struggle with looks that are derived from a kids' jump-in ball pit.

Ah-hem.

So, here are some total wins* from this year. (Sarcasm included.)




 

I mean... ok.

Sigh.

But, there were some fun ensembles.

Chance the Rapper looks adorable.


If I could get past that mane of hair, I'd be more equipped to give you a judgement on this Julian Macdonald gown.

All I know is that this appears to be crocheted and I've never been able to make crocheted slippers because I'm hard pressed to make anything symmetrical.

This is gorgeous.



And then there's this gown and I kind of feel like she's sort of just mocking US. Right?

"Yeah, I think this looks as ridiculous as you do, but YOU think this is fashion and I know it's just... not ok."


I love this. I really do. Sophie Beem looks like fun.


I liked this.

It seems wrinkly, though. Is that possible? Wrinkly sequins?

And those shoes?

Huh?


HEIDI.
THIS IS A SHIRT.
You're wearing a shirt.
I mean, you guys, that's SHORT.
Just because you can wear it sister, it doesn't mean you should wear it.

(I hate those shoes, too.)


I don't know.

I mean, that belt goes against everything I stand for, as do the white heels.  But, I feel like this just sort of works for the Grammys.


True story: I named Vivi after the designer, Vivienne Westwood.

Another true story: This Vivienne Westwood gown is a gaping, ill-fitting, bustled nightmare.

Gross.


Faith Hill looks fine.


Don't hate me. I don't love Adele's Givenchy gown and by the looks of that expression, she isn't in love with it either. I just don't love the basket-weave top.

Something that skews a bit younger would be great. I mean, it's a shame that Heidi Klum and Adele can't meet somewhere in the middle.

(Note: Adele is a ROCKSTAR. I respect her. Immensely.)


Ok.
Sure.
Orange sherbet was always my favorite, too.


This is so, so lovely. She looks precious. And that choker? I LOVE IT.

(Write it down, take a screenshot, I LIKE THAT CHOKER.)


I mean, I kinda love this.

I do. Celine Dion looks pretty in this emerald green Zuhair Murad number.


Beautiful.
Stunning.
I love this color.
Her arms look amazing.
And that choker? Eh. It's fine.


Boring.


So this gown has visual interest. Very cool.

(Are her arms tied down? That makes me nervous.)


I love this. Maren Morris looks gorgeous in this Michael Costello gown.

Great, great color.

(In addition, that's some good hair.)

And another thing: those were the wrong shoes to be worn.



"It's an homage to TLC... it's androgynous"

That's what Halsey said about this periwinkle, satin blue tracksuit.

Stop it.

How old is she? T-Boz, Chilli and Left Eye ALL wore shirts. Sigh.


Oh, ok.

So shirts were optional.

That said, ANYONE who said that Lady Gaga was FAT or OVERWEIGHT after her Superbowl performance needs to start a gratitude journal.

Because projection is ugly and this woman is nothing if not fit.


I love the extreme of seeing Lady Gaga  in that ^^ and then Hillary Scott in this Jenny Packam gown. Ah, the grammys. Nuts.


The couldn't be more boring.


So, this is intricate.

(Like how I handled that?)


I love Jill Scott.


This is gorgeous, but girl, this ain't the Oscars.

This gown could have clothed at least six women.


Katy Perry is wearing something from the Bea Arthur collection for Macy's and I think it's absolutely divine.

Don't you agree, Ma?


I love, love, love how these ensembles play off of one another. Colorful and lovely.


Is that a bat tattoo chest piece on Kris K?

I know it's not, but wouldn't that be SO GREAT?


LaVerne can werk it.


Oh Margaret.

Give Hilary her pantsuit back.
Give Diana Ross her hair back.
This is so sad and Joan is rolling over right now. (#JoanRanger4Eva)

JUST BE YOU.


I have never, in all of my life, met a woman who wants to wear a top that makes her girls' look droopy.

Sack.
Of.
Oranges.


I love this gown on Paulina Rubio.

It just works.


I am NOT KIDDING you, I think I had a dance costume like this when I was about 12. Halter. Biker shorts under a long over-thing. YES.

I also paired it with "flesh colored" shiny tights.

Boom.

Popular and hot then, popular and hot today.


YOU KNOW that when she sits down that pointy metal party is stabbing her organs.

I mean, fashion is pain, right?

Sigh.


I think Solange is beautiful.

She's ALWAYS fashion-forward and just like my Grandma said: if you're going to wear ruffles, wear gold lamé ruffles.

(My Grandma never said that.)


Blech.

Best? She looks perplexed, too.


1. This is too juvenile.
2. This is too tight.
3. This is wrong.
4. This isn't working for me.

Are those thunderbolts?


This mini dress does work. And that ombre hair? Fantastic.

The shoes? Not my first choice, but hey! It's the grammys.

I like this, though.


Nope.


Inappropriate.

Pool party following?


And let's talk about the men. At the Grammys the men bring it. And, well, I love it.



So, lets talk about my LEAST favorites, shall we?

Jennifer Lopez knows better. When she was talking to Ryan Seacrest during the pre-show, that tulle-part was touching her lip. I couldn't handle it. HER DRESS KEPT TOUCHING HER FACE.

This is awful.

I expect more.


Ask Craig.
The minute I saw her, I said it.
Carrie Underwood is my worst dressed.

1. That collar.
2. Those bell sleeves.
3. The whole thing.

I cannot abide this. It's just... sad and disappointing.

It looks like a country western song is crying tears of blood. Which, I mean, do we need any more crying in country? No. No more blood. No more tears.


Now, on to my faves.

I have three.

First off, Paris Jackson in this Balmain looked stunning. Gorgeous. I loved this.


Next, this whimsical number on Kelsea Ballerini in Ines de Santo.


It's light and fun and bo-ho and well, I like it.


And my other best dressed? Chrissy Tiegen.

Flaw.Less.

Wow.



What did YOU think?

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2 comments:

  1. I know 2% of these people. And they are all worst-dressed to me. Love these recaps!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I like belts so I liked G's dress. I have no discernible waist so belts are my friend. I didn't hate Carrie's dress! I thought it was different and red is so hot! Also bell sleeves are SO IN right now. I just ordered a bright orange dress with cropped bell sleeves for a semi-formal event in March. I hope I look half as good as Carrie! ;-)

    ReplyDelete

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