I almost don't want to write this post.
Friends, this was the most boring red carpet I have seen in years. YEARS.
Usually on every red carpet, I gasp. I say, "Whoa. That's amazing."
No. Not tonight.
Let's start with the Burgundy Bridesmaid dresses. (Ignore spelling errors. It's late.)
So here's Taryn Manning wearing Fall's latest option for autumnal weddings. I believe it also comes in pumpkin spice and winter squash.
And here's Taylor Schilling wearing the most unflattering ruffles ever created.
WHATTTTT is this? I can't.
Heavy, heavy sigh.
Bryce Dallas Howad looked stunning. I just love this silhouette. And I think in this photo she looks like she could definitely be Reba McEntire's long-lost child, no?
Who's with me?
This is just not flattering.
I'm very seldom a fan of burgundy on a red carpet. I can't handle the clashing.
This is Natalia Dyer in Miu Miu and I think it's ADORABLE. I love it. The fit is perfect, it's age appropriate. Lovely.
This is terrible. I've never seen a slip dress be too big on someone.
We saw a lot of asymmetrical fitting on the red carpet. I think we can attribute this to the world being so off-kilter right now. :) I don't love it, but I do love the orange-redness of this Louis Vuitton on Sophie Turner.
I simply cannot get enough of Millie Bobbie Brown wearing Georgio Armani. She's a cutie pie. And I love that someone with the name "Bobbie Brown" knows what she's doing.
This is elegant. I'm not overwhelmed with joy, but it's nice. It fits well. Whatever.
So, if you're thinking, "Kylee is going to like this... it's a print..." Well, you're right. I like it. I adore this Zac Posen gown.
And, dare I say that Anna Chlumsky looks amazing? This Elizabeth Kennedy gown is stunning. Va-va-va-voom.
This dress needs to make a decision. It needs to either be floor-length or tea-length. What is this middle-of-the-road-length? MAKE A DECISION.
This is ill-fitting. (Is it too short? What's happening here?) But, I think the design is lovely.
Let's move on to the black gowns.
I'm going to rope all of the black gowns together primarily because they bore me and while writing this, time is of the essence.
Diane Guerrero, (Guerrero was one of the words that Lila had to break into syllables in her homework for Monday), is stunning.
But that tule? I don't understand. Why?
More asymmetrical madness.
So here's Emma Stone wearing something that I'm sure Giuliana Rancic will say on E! Fashion Police, "It was stunning in person..." but I'm just not convinced.
In addition, I'm not a lotus fan.
Is that a lotus?
Totally my least favorite flower.
This Alexander McQueen is eh for me.
I want Evan Rachel Wood to be my friend.
Um, I'm sorry... but that looks like a thong on her front.
[giggles like a 12-year-old boy.]
I mean, I wouldn't...
I feel like I'm letting you down with this re-cap friends, but it was REALLY this boring...
Here are the white gowns.
Viola Davis wore this WELL. Gorgeous.
I shan't say anything negative about Meryl Streep or a pregnant woman.
So I like this on Kirsten Dunst... it's fine. Whatever. I'm not blown away, but it's nice.
KERRY WASHINGTON'S SLEEVES ARE TOO LONG AND I CANNOT HANDLE IT.
I hate this so much.
I just think Danielle Brooks looked adorable in Christian Siriano. I really think this is fun.
I kind of love this.
Nope. This looked better on the hanger.
Well, I mean... it looks warm.
I loved this whimsical look on Kaley Cuoco. But what's going on with connecting her neck to her up-top? I don't understand.
I'm not blown away! I'm sorry.
I love, love, LOVE this on Janelle Monae. This Chanel number is WONDERFUL. It's her. and it's perfect. And I love it.
I love this on Giuliana. You?
I can't get past her arms.
Whatever. Again. It's fine.
One of the things I love about Mayim Bialik is that she dresses wholly according to her religious beliefs and still manages to look lovely. Well done, Genius Blossom.
Man, satin is so, so hard to pull off and Maisie Williams is pulling it off.
This looks like it was just finished in the Project Runway room at Parsons. I hate it.
Michelle Williams wore a little choker-string-thing at the last awards show and I gave her a free pass. Do it once, I forgive you. Do it twice, I report you to the FBI.
Here are the two gowns that look good on the women wearing them but would not look good on any of us mere mortals.
BOOM! Sofia Vergara was almost my Best Dressed. THIS IS SO DIFFERENT FOR HER! She looks amazing. I love it. Adorable.
Could this girl get any more gorgeous? I love Yara Shahidi in this Naeem Khan gown.
Winona Ryder makes me smile. You know she's had this in her closet for 27 years. And she did her own hair, and jewelry and she just showed up, because seriously? It's an awards show.
Boom. Love that.
The collar is killing me.
All those birds are more than I can handle.
I feel like all night long I was saying, "It's fine. It's not the most amazing thing I've ever seen. But, it's fine."
The small black bows KILL THIS. I can't.
I'm literally just shaking my head at this point.
My worst-dressed runner up?
She's nothing if not consistent. Here's Nicole Kidman wearing birds.
My worst dressed?
Easy. Brie Larson. This is a trainwreck.
It's self-explanatory, no?
My favorites? I had two.
I think this looks so absolutely lovely on Octavia Spencer.
I'm in LOVE with the neckline and the shirring at the top. Love it.
Emily Blunt in Roberto Cavallli. This is perfection. Absolute PERFECTION. The color of her skin, the pattern, the fit. Yep. It doesn't get much better than this.
What did YOU think?