Let's dig in.
1. First and foremost, one has to look back at one's life at certain points and one has to ask 'how am I doing?' What kind of legacy am I creating? That question was answered tonight while my phone was blowing up with texts and emails and messages all alerting me that Lionel Richie was on the Grammy's.
I'm doing something right if ya'll think of Lionel and think of me.
2. My love for Rev. Run and his wife, Justine, is legit. I watched Run's House faithfully (pun intended) and I DVR Rev Runs Around the World on The Travel Channel. (Don't just.) I love them.
3. I literally could name 3 of the people on the Grammy red carpet which is why throughout this post I'm not even going to put in the effort. I'm not exactly the queen of pop music. (I spent the weekend teaching the girls Anne Murray's Danny's Song while we ran our errands. Seriously. "People smile and tell me I'm the lucky one, And we've just begun, I think I'm gonna have a son..." I digress.)
[Just some of the] People I don't know:
4. LL Cool J is still cute. And, he doesn't age.
5. However, these gentlemen? Um, they do age. Together, I think they look like a combined 317-years-old.
This is scary. Like eyes-wide-open-eyebrows-raised, "Eek".
Is it the angle?
Nope, I'm pretty sure it's the guys.
6. So I love how jovial Adele looks in her first photo.
I'll be really honest here. I LOVE ADELE, but of all things HOLY, enough.of.the.Adele.constantly.playing.everywhere. Still, I find her to be vastly talented and the best interpretive hand dancer in all of show biz. (You've heard her sing car kareoke with James Corden, right? If not. Stop now. Watch it.)
She looked fine.
Pretty. I like her lob. All good.
7. I enjoyed the group of women who were like, "Whatever. I'm not wearing spanx for that."
I get it. You don't even want to know what I'm wearing right now.
(Bonnie Raitt doesn't age either.)
8. So then there were the women who were like, "I am DRESSING.IT.UP."
Let's just evaluate.
1.) A hair barette.
2.) A tight satin, emerald green dress.
3.) A mock turtle neck.
4.) A body chain OVER the SATIN, TURTLE NECK dress.
5.) A high-to-low bottom of hte dress.
6.) A RUFFLED high-to-low bottom of the dress.
7.) The cotton ball heels.
8.) The cotton ball shrug.
So I mean. Ok.
(I'm still shaking my head at this.)
So wrong on so many accounts, Faith.
9. Ellie Goulding looks so annoyed. I guess my expectations are so low for the Grammy's that I just sort of wish her bangs were higher. I mean, if she would have tried, they could totally have been higher.
10. Before any awards show there should be a "Fabrics 101" course wherein students learn about which fabrics drape well and which don't.
This would be a don't.
11. Eh. Anna Kendrick is wearing one of Vanna's old gowns. I'd like to buy a vowel, Anna. Oh wait, I'd actually like to solve the puzzle, please: "THIS IS BORING."
12. I wonder if it's the flash or if Carrie really is this enthusiastic.
This gown made me smile. I flashbacked to when I would read Sassy magazine and they'd tell you what kind of swimsuit to wear for your body type.
"If you're smaller on the top half, wear a swimsuit top with a lot of shirring to make it appear that your bust isn't dust. And, don't forget to draw attention to a different part of your body if you're lacking somehwere else!"
Drawing attention to another part of your body: check.
She's a Sassy girl.
BUT GIRL CAN SING SOME LIONEL RICHIE.
So, she might as well be my best dressed.
14. Suffocatingly boring.
16. I like this! Who doesn't wan tto wear a cape?!
17. Call me old-fashioned but I can't wrap my brain around that prominent of a nose adornment.
And this gown reminds me of a Pnina Tornai gown from Say Yes to The Dress. Randy?
18. Janelle Monae is so cute.
19. So this doesn't bother me. The styling is terrible, but whatever. It's the grammy's.
20. I love this so much. It's color! It's a print. She's got a great, high hair style. I LOVE THIS so much. (This is Lianne La Havas. And she's so cute.)
21. You know, if I was going to an awards show I'd do it up, too. Would I wear Kate Winslet's gown? Probably not, but she looks lovely.
[She looks so unhappy.]
22. Pharrell looks so cute in Joan Rivers' sweater.
23. Why not?
Go there. Do it.
I mean you want to show your grandkids a pic of something amazing, right?
24. That's a LOT of yellow. The 4-foot train might be a bit too much.
25. This is a tween's dress.
26. This is a swimsuit coverup.
27. Poor thing. I remember being that pregnant and sitting in theatre for 7 hours watching a long awards show is not where I would have wanted to be. Poor Chrissy.
28. Again, fine. I'm flexible. This is fine. Whatever.
29. I think that Gaga's shoe is actually taller than Taylor's shirt.
And, Taylor looks like Anna Wintour 2.0.
30. I loved this.
31. I actually love this, too. It's cute, but man - it looks really heavy, no?
32. My best dressed vote is for the one on the right: Kimberly Schlapman of Little Big Town. I like the colors. I like the bow. I like her hair. I like all of this. So cute.
What did *you* think?