A glimpse in.

Sometimes I berate myself for not having published a post on the blog for a week.

Then I realize that I'm living with two ridiculously demanding, emotionally unstable and frightfully needy people:

My children.

Yeah. They're not pleased with me, either.

In the past few weeks we have moved from our home of about 7 years to a new home - a home that we were supposed to move into days after a category 4 hurricane hit our community. We have since unpacked copious boxes of far too much stuff, entirely too many rubbermaid containers and my personal favorite and yours: boundless un-labeled garbage bags full of clothes and other treasures. All the while working full-time.

AND, all the while constantly having constantly hungry children constantly at our heels. (Yes, I used "constantly" thrice times. I can. My blog.)

7:00 a.m: "I'm hungry."

9:00 a.m.: "I"m hungry."

9:30 a.m.: "I'm hungry."

10:15 a.m.: "I'm hungry."

You get the gist.

They're always hungry. My usual response, "No you're not. You're bored."

That response has overtaken my diversion technique. I no longer try to find something else for them to do. "Hey, let's do this puzzle!" I simply tell them, "It's not possible. You ate 17 minutes ago. You cannot possibly need 'cereal and yogurt' right now. Reason points to the fact that you simply can't be hungry.'"

So there.

And does my reasoning work?

No.

It just brings about whining.

Massive.amounts.of.whining.

To which I try to be for real and I bring out the 1-2-3 Magic child-rearing thing. "Lila, that's 1." (That seems to always work for her. She's done. She doesn't want a time out whereby she'll be relegated to some space where I am not and therefore deaf to her demand for more food. Because she's "still hungry.")

Then there's Vivi and the whining.

I could be like, "Vivienne, that's 3 (which is supposed to be immediate removal of activity and immediate time out or time out space... or something) and she's like, "So what? TIME OUTS DON'T BOTHER ME.  DID YOU HEAR ME? I said I am HUNGRYYYYYYYYYYYY."

She thinks I am the one who has a listening problem.

::

So tonight I made dinner.

Post-hurricane we lost everything in our fridge, then we took an evacuation vacation to Ohio for a month, then we got back and moved... so I haven't quite built up the reserve pantry. That said, it's blackbeans, red peppers, corn (onion... shhhh... don't tell the ladies) quesadillas for dinner.

It's not that bad. I mean, I added CHEESE!


While I'm making dinner, Lila walks into the kitchen and sees the tortillas on the counter and proceeds to immediately pick up the top two and RUBS THEM ON HER FACE.

WHAT?????

I was dumbstruck.

Good mom's response: "I'm sure you're curious as to how the tortillas smell and feel, but next time let's make a different decision and not put them on your face."

My response: "What are you doing? Am I seeing what I'm seeing? Are there tortillas on your face or have I lost it? Lila, it's not ok to put your germs all over the tortillas that other people eat."

She laughs. "Oh. Ok." (She said that with surprise in her voice.)

So I plate the food for the kids.

The kids who are always hungry.

Vivi takes one bite and her entire body flinches and convulses.

Disdain.


"YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE THESE THINGS! I ONLY LIKE BLACK BEANS."

"Vivi, it's corn. You'll make it."

Full on screaming, "NO, it's TERRIBLE. I TOLD YOU I NEED YOGURT AND CEREAL!!!"

::

Why do I even try*?

So, as I said earlier, pardon my lack of blogging, I'm living with two demanding, crazy, emotionally unstable and needy people.

::


[Of course I didn't give her yogurt and cereal. It's us against them. It's cereal and yogurt today and what? Condoms and an American Express tomorrow? I think not. She ate the quesadillas... and picked out the corn.]

I'm having a glass of wine.

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4 comments:

  1. I can absolutely hear you saying this. Like in my head, I can hear your voice saying this. . .

    "What are you doing? Am I seeing what I'm seeing? Are there tortillas on your face or have I lost it? Lila, it's not ok to put your germs all over the tortillas that other people eat."

    Or wait. Is that my voice?

    Who knows--this is awesome. As are you. And your girls. And your family.

    Love you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. RIGHT? We Moms have a universal voice. I'm still in awe of the tortillas-on-the-face thing.

      WHAT?????

      (Love you, too.)

      Delete
  2. YES. YES. A THOUSAND TIMES YES!!!

    I swear Vivi and Henry have a very similar personality.

    Based on our conversation I started the 1..2..3.. thing. It works some times. Sometimes I say 1 and it is like “NO, DON’T COUNT!! I AM LISTENING!”

    Other times I get to 2 and it is “Go ahead and say 3, Mommy. I want (XYZ)!!” Of course when I say 3 the screaming starts. Ugh.

    Henry has started becoming more temperamental about the foods he eats. I gave him yogurt and seriously, you would think I was feeding him rotten fish or something. The FACES he makes. It is yogurt, dude.

    Or yesterday he wanted toast with strawberry jam. He has had this100 times (I mean there were two weeks where that is all he wanted.) and I gave it to him yesterday and he took a nibble and made the grossed out face and shiver and said…I don’t like strawberry jam anymore.

    UM, YES YOU DO!!!

    And the whining. Oh the whining. I just wrote about this on the blog that I write posts on once a month (eye roll). The whining is enough to drive you mad….or to drink regularly!!

    Even the tortillas is similar, except it was with bread for grilled cheese and henry was playing with them with his toys!!! I turned my head for a minute and there he is driving his cars over them like a road.

    DUDE!!

    So yes, this all sounds so familiar.

    Kids….they act like crazy people!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. THIS. IS. MY. HOUSE. I've said it before and I'll say it again...our kids are opposite gender clones of each other. It's nice to know there is someone else out there living it with me at the same time (though it doesn't make it any easier).

    ReplyDelete

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