Thursday, January 02, 2014

A Cornucopia of Calendar Choices for 2014

So I need a new wall calendar because I'm 10 and I like having an actual calendar hanging in my pantry to boast my work-out stickers.

Yes.

I put a sticker on the calendar for everyday that I work out. (I already mentioned that I'm 10.)

If you haven't already, download the Hoops & Yoyo 2014 Calendars. They're great for work and keep you abreast of important dates, like take for example January 10th is Houseplant Appreciation Day. This is something you need to know. Link to print them is here. (No, I don't get paid to post this. I've liked Hoops and Yoyo for years.)

The truth of the matter is that a quality sticker is just as much of a motivator to me as a stack of cheese or swimsuit season. (Please note that swimsuit season is pretty much year-round here. Blech. Hurl. Lol. I said "hurl." See? Still 10.)

Anywho, I went to Office Max today to buy a calendar and there were about 5 choices:

1. Mexican kitchens - pass.
2. Justin Bieber - this would have been a possibility last year. But now he's such a little jerk. pass.
3. Monster High - um, no. I don't like scary things.
4. Beaches - really? Um, probably not.
4. Puppies - well, maybe..

The puppies calendar was $289.00 pesos. That's $22.00 for a calendar purchased after the New Year.

NOPE.

So, to amazon I go.

A simple search of "2014 wall calendar" reveals these beauties.

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The "All My Friends are Dead 2014 Wall Calendar" for $12.59. (Link here.)


Humorous, but perhaps a little more morose than what I need in 2014?


Tee hee.


I like the cassette tape one.


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Then another option is this.

"Underwater dogs" for $10.10. (Link here.)



I like dogs. But this calendar makes me anxious.

What if the dogs don't want to be in an "Underwater dogs" calendar?

What if they hate goggles?

What if  we think they're swimming but they're really just paddling for their lives?

Nope. This one's not for me.

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And then there's this.

"I could Pee on This and Other Poems by Cats." $9.59. (Link here.)

Ugh.

Another strong mark against cats.

Crass. Rude. Self-serving.

THEY WALK ON YOUR COUNTERS, YOU GUYS.

Not getting this calendar based solely on principle.

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AND... the annual Ansel Adams calendar. $13.33. (Link here.)



I had this calendar in high school. Twice. I thought I was so cool. "Look, I understand and relate to black and white landscapes."

I'm kind of over it.

I like nature fine, but... grey nature... eh.

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At first glance, this Mary Engelbreit is far more positivity than I can handle...


But it is awfully cute.  $14.39. (Link here.)

And I think the girls would like it...


This is a definite maybe.

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"Why Grizzly Bears Should Wear Underpants." $9.49. (Link here.)

This has been rated a 5-star calendar. (By 3 people.)



I don't want to have to read "bear balls" out loud to my ladies... so, this might be a pass. (See below.)



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Um, this may be the winner. Great fonts. Happy drawings. BOOM.

Masha D'yans. $13.49. (Link here.)


Absolutely lovely.




I think this is IT.

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And then there's this, "Nuns Having Fun 2014 Wall Calendar." (Link here.)

This.is.fantastic.


It warms my heart to see this.
I can't explain it.

How cute are they?

"Sisters that pray together, sleigh together?"

STOP IT.



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And this speaks for itself. "Extraordinary Chickens." $12.59. (Link here.)

It's sort of "beaked" my interest. hahahahaha. Get it?


I wish there were more photos of the various months. I may have to buy this.

I mean, how cute is that chicken?

**Buying this will pretty much guarantee that I will go back to being a meatless eater. (We were meatless eaters for 8 years, did you know that? We still ate fish and eggs.)

::

This is fantastic, too. "Awkward Family Photos 2014 Calendar." $9.99. (Link here.)

Amazingness.

How do I not buy this? Just look at that Dad's snarl.



From what I can tell, this is wholly worth the $9.99.


Seriously, I want to buy this but it just seems inappropriate that the girls would see me laughing at seemingly innocent (but let's be honest, there are some potential serial killers in there) people each time I open the pantry and see this calendar hanging there.



Tough choice.

I need some more time to stew.

Thoughts?

**Nope, I'm not compensated for this post. I just like calendars.

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3 comments:

  1. HAHAHAHA! This post is full of SO much awesomeness!

    Ok, first I couldn't keep my blog name if I didn't defend the cats. One poem "Turn into the skid, Turn into the skid, turn into the skid, now I am wedged underneath the dresser." I mean, that is hilarious!!! heehee :-)

    These are so awesome and so bad. The chicken one. I mean, NO. And I totally agree with you on the underwater dog one!

    The awkward family photos...YES! Love it.

    The Nuns Having Fun...Uh, SHUT UP! Fantastic.

    But I agree, the Masha D'yans one is lovely :-)

    I think I need to go look at calendars! I always get the plain one that says "Staples" on top. LAME.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nuns. Just do it. So funny. See? Being religious can be fun!

    I also have a love of calendars and purchased this one for myself the other day (1/2 off at books a million)
    http://www.calendars.com/The-Hobbit-2014-Wall-Calendar/prod201400010315/?cm_mmc=google-_-Product_Extensions-_-products-_-ads&CAWELAID=330004770000031885&cagpspn=pla&gclid=CIKk2PSR4rsCFXPNOgod31wAqA

    However, I feel your struggle. There were so many DUMB calendars. Stuff about "peeing" or weird/rude/anxiety/negative stuff.

    So, I went to my happy place. Hobbits and beautiful drawings.

    Nuns. Or the flower one. I like that too.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You should go to Snapfish.com and upload pictures of your pretty family. You can create adorable custom calendars!!

    ReplyDelete

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