2014 Grammy Fashion Recap


So I was debating this year.


"Do I write about the Grammy's*? Do I ignore them? They're  usually laden with costumes, not fashion."

Last year, I didn't write. This year, I chose to write.

So, let's do this.

*I really wanted to write "grammie," but I think that's ironically "grammatically" incorrect so I had to use the possessive form of Grammy's even though it's obviously incorrect. I feel so conflicted.

Moving on.

* I wasn't blown away by Hova and Queen B's opening number..
* Katy Perry was fine. Her performance sort of bored me.
* Um, I kind of liked Chicago with Robin Thicke. (Don't judge me.)
* P!nk. Stop it. INCREDIBLE.
* Pharrell is so cute.
* Carole King and Sarah Bareilles made my life.
* I'm proud of Macklemore. Madonna terrified me.

I've decided I'm only going to write about people I know and/or feel compelled to write about.

SO, there's Alicia Keys.

BAM!
BOOM.

This woman is gorgeous.
Absolutely stunning.
This blows me away.



Also in blue: This is also lovely.



Tasha Cobbs looks stunning. I adore this color against her skin. I just hate that extra "peplum" fabric.


And then there was Bonnie McKee.

Oh, I appreciate this Gustavo Cadile gown. You guys, this is gorgeous. The angles. The whole thing - I love it. I'm sorry that it's so wrinkly, though. Bummer. Steamer. Stylist.

(Great bag, too.)



Anna Faris looks so much better than the last time we saw her:



Lovely. She gets the "most improved" award. (Whew.)


Yeah, I don't know.

There's one in every crowd.


I'm not sure if you guys knew, but Colbie Caillat is actually competing in the Miss Arkansas pageant this spring.

We wish her all the luck. Just always tie your responses to world peace, Colbie.

(Ok, the dress isn't horrendous, but her hair? Um, it's exactly like mine right now and I haven't showered today.)


YES.

Gloria Estefan looks fantastic. That woman looks incredible and age apprpriate.

I give her a diez.


Most importantly, this is a gown designed by Christian Soriano, and I love it. Natasha Bedingfield looks fine. (Are bangs out? No, seriously. Tell me. Are bangs out?)

Love the orange.


So here's Giuliana Rancic looking the BEST she has looked all awards season.

I love this! I even love that it's a halter!

YAY! This Alex Perry gown is gorgeous. And well, you know, orange is my signature color*...

(*"Blush and bashful are my signature colors..." MOVIE?)

Nicely done.

(I like her.)


Speaking of orange, let's all clap for Cyndi Lauper because we SHOULD. It's our American obligation.

I like her ensemble. SHE'S CYNDI LAUPER.

And I sort of think her finger/wrist chains are fantastic.


Sigh.

Ok.

No.

Is Fantasia wearing a lanyard? I mean because the sexy patchwork lace quilt dress is hot, but I'm for some reason focused on that lanyard.


George is the CUTEST. Love him.


This is Judith Hill.
I just hate this.
Her eye makeup is terrible, too.
Just. No.



[insert very, very heavy sigh]

Ok.

The positives: Madonna knows how to pose. Madonna yoga-body is incredible and thankfully, we aren't being forced to look at her bathing suit parts in today's outfit.

The negatives: Madonna is a 55-year-old woman who thinks it's "cool" to wear a grill and she murdered (not in a good "sick" way that Macklemore song/performance. Yikes.)

Whatever. Give Bruno Mars his hat back and keep that cane. For obvious reasons.

Still, I think the, "Like a Prayer" video was a life-changer for me. It's just that your time has sort of passed.



Speaking of life-changers, I remember "discovering" Fleetwood Mac when I was about 19.

Whoa.

Rhianna. Landslide. BOOM.

Stevie Nicks is cool. End of story. THERE WILL BE NO HATING.



Likewise with Willie.

We don't talk about Willie. He can (or cannot) pay his taxes if he wants. It's none of our business.


I don't know who this woman is, but I do love me some color blocking.

This is a great dress.

(I later googled it and found out that she is Esme Bianco, which is a great name.)



I like a good print, too. I just do.

Ariana Grande looks adorable in this Dolce & Gabanna dress. It's nice to not see a 20-year-old wearing her granny panties on the outside and sticking her tongue out of her mouth while riding on a wrecking ball.

Nicely done, little lady.


This is John Legend's wife, Chrissy Teigen. She is flawless.

That's pretty much all there is to say about that.

This Johanna Johnson dress is fantastic on her. I love her hair, her styling, the whole package. Perfection.


And then there's Taylor Swift.

This Gucci dress is fantastic and I'm certain this the design house is going to be thrilled that she said that it felt heavy, scratchy and like it was bulletproof.

She looks fine.

It's fine.

I mean. It's fine.

Put this on someone else and I think I'd be more excited. Taylor just exhausts me.


Iggy Azalea is wearing a long white gown. I give anyone props for wearing a dress with straight vertical lines on it. Nicely, nicely done.

Would I wear it? No. I mean, I'm 5' 3" and well... I can't wear that.


Speaking of white...

Here's Keltie Knight (I have no idea who that is) wearing a very boring white gown.

(I'm sorry you had to waste your time reading that.)


And then there's Paris Hilton.

Go ahead, laugh.

I'll wait.


The hair is impressive.

I mean, I'll give her that.

And she told Giuliana Rancic on the E! red carpet that she's making an album on Birdman's label.

I cannot WAIT to hear that, said no one. Ever.


This is Sarah Bareilles. The husband and I heard her a year or so ago at the Baja International Film Festival. She was so, so good and such a talented musician.

This dress is terrible.

I hate high/low gowns.

BUT I LOVED SARAH'S PERFORMANCE WITH CAROLE KING. Incredible. I sort of wish that would have gone on for hours

I grew up listening to Carole King. Incredible. Loved it. And I love how excited she was about it.



Kathy Griffin must be plugging herself into the same time-machine and using the same magic serum as Seacrest. I mean, best she's looked ever? Anyone? Agree?

But then there's the snakeskin dress.

Which is bad in every generation. Blech.


You know. I appreciate Katy Perry.
This is Valentino and this is whimsical and this is such a vast improvement from what Katy normally wears, so why don't we all stand up and applaud her.

Nicely done.

Let's ignore the musical notes.


Bummer that that guy's job is to arrange Katy's dress.


So here's Kelly Osbourne wearing some sort of dress that is a tribute to her Dad.

Ok. I will not say a cross word.

My favorite Osbourne moment was when Giuliana was interviewing the Prince of Darkness on the red carpet and he looked into the camera and yelled, "HELLO, KELLY! I LOVE YOU!"

Because a Daddy's love for his baby girl is always cool.


 

Speaking of Daddy love.

Here's Mr. Tanner with his real-life daughter, Lara, who is incidentally wearing a cast-off from Bea Arthur when she was on Golden Girls.

Boy, there's no resemblance there, eh?

TERRIBLE DRESS.


Rita Ora, nicely done. I mean this fabric is only forgiving on a fish.

EW.


I really liked Sarah Hyland's dress. It's cute. For once, she looks young!

Good makeup, too. And hair.


And on to my best dressed:

Ciara is stunning.

I loved her hair, this Pucci gown - the whole package.

This is one lovely woman. I also liked that she said that she ate a club sandwich and fries before the red carpet.


I really liked this Armani Prive gown on Kacey Musgraves.

Shhh... it just didn't photograph well. No seriously, trust me.

It was gorgeous on the red carpet with Giuliana.

No, I'm seriously. IT WAS.

I LIKED IT.



Miranda Lambert looks incredible in this Pamela Rolland gown.

THIS IS THE BEST SHE HAS EVER LOOKED.

I am blown away. I actually LIKE the side-waves and the plunging neckline.
And I adore the red dress and lips.

This is FANTASTIC.


Stunning.

Feminine and perfect.



BOOM. Whiz Kalifa, whatever. THEN there's Amber Rose.

WOW.

This Naeem Khan gown is incredible. This woman.is.stunning.

I love this.



I'm in awe of this. Absolute awe.


And finally, my best dressed for the evening:

Well, this is easy.

Duh.

P!nk.

Little Miss Alecia Moore looked incredible. Sang the best and can kick some serious bee-hind.

She looked stunning. The best ever.

I loved this gown. She's another perspective of what feminine can be: fancy schmancy, but strong and ready.to.roll, too.

I applaud you.

This Johanna Johnson gown was superb and she rocked it.




And now on to the most fun of the night: the worst dresses.

Let's do this.

So there's this lady.

Yeah, I know.

Sad, right?


Ok. So aside from the nude-color, which I don't hate, the fit on this gown is horrendous.

Skylar Grey is lovely, I'm sure. But she's wearing a gown made out of pleather seat upholstery.

Bad.




And the worst dressed of the evening is Anna Kendrick because obviously.

This Azarro gown is HORRID.

I just got an email from her hoots and they wanted me to tell you that they were embarrassed by what was forced upon them.


Bad.

The gown was too big, ill-fitting and ugly.


So bad.

What did you think?

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6 comments:

  1. steel magnolias.. and the song with Carole King.. Crying!
    Love you Kylee!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Some of these outfits were straight up CRAZY! Car upholstery...hahahahah!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am glad you did this one!!! I laughed through much of this post. Fantastic review and I agree with pretty much everything :-)

    Performances (I watched a few online today), UH...Can i just say Pink was AMAZING. WOW. Seriously, WOW.

    Taylor Swift = annoying.

    Beyonce = the girl can move and looked fantastic but her outfit with Jay Z all dressed up looked stupid.

    That Royals song and the singer annoy me.

    John Legend = swoon

    Also, it surprises me how many musicians in the audience CANNOT dance. I mean, really. I was watching as they scanned the crowds during certain performances (Daft Punk/Stevie Wonder) and those people can't move. You would think musicians would have some rhythm!

    ReplyDelete
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