Oh, Martha Stewart. You're just so... lovable.

My love for The Martha is nearly equivalent to my love for The Lionel.

The Lionel is a purveyor of fantabulous ballads and is a genius of a musician, not to mention that incredible afro that has only further contributed to his like-ability factor. He's a musician of the ages. All ages. And he's wonderful.

This is Martha Stewart modeling with a cow during college.
Apparently she's always been comfortable in denim and with cows.

The Martha is a purveyor of all things beautiful. She's pompous and arrogant and not particularly likable, which makes me LOVE HER EVEN MORE. Her locked-jaw, fancy-pants voice... her particularness and starch-like quality endears her to me. Always has. I remember on one show she was doing a craft that required using an old nylon (women's leg coverings) and she actually called it a, " panty ho."

Singular: a "ho."

Not, "panty hose."

A ho.

My Mom and I found it uproariously entertaining.

(She also pronounces the "H" in herb.)

Which my Mom and I also enjoyed.

Anywho, the reason for this post:

I enjoyed this article yesterday on people.com.

Basically, Gwyneth Paltrow has her goop.com website, has written several life and cooking cookbooks and is apparently looking to brand herself in the "lifestyle" genre.



I shall pull out the best quotes for you:


I love that she's questioning Gwyneth's authenticity and how she's passive aggressively assuming that her home is not up to The Martha standards.

And I also love how she's kind of implying that Gwyneth may potentially live like Honey Boo Boo.


"Fine. Good". Stop it, Martha.

Are you stomping your feet while you say that?

And really? She's negating Gwyneth's lifestyle potential because she's "pretty." This makes me smile.

Awesome.

And finally, this is the BEST line of the article.


Exactly right, Martha.

We have you to thank for making our lives better.

(I love her.)

That woman.

What a silly panty ho.


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3 comments:

  1. HAHAHA! I love this!

    You know what is funny, there is something I like but that drives me totally crazy about BOTH Martha and Gwyneth....so maybe she WOULD make a great "lifestyle" person ;-)

    Marthas quotes are awesome and totally backhanded.

    You know, i do wish Martha would make her things easier. I look at her recipes and crafts and there are 20 steps to do just one thing!!! But I don't see her making the "Busy Moms" recipe or craft book any time soon!! heehee :)

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  2. Thank you! This made me laugh.

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  3. HAHA! Panty ho. PS I would have NEVER guessed that was her in the "Denim & Cow" pic.

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