Cheesy knuckles.

4/08/2013 10:09:00 AM

It's 2013.
We're supposed to be eating green.
Farm to table.
No preservatives.
Cloth bags; no plastic.
Organic all the time.
Less meat; more veggies.
Blah, blah, blah.

We're also living in the midst of the YOLO thing. ("You Only Live Once.")


I decided to embrace YOLO on my terms and so I ate this entire jar of "cheese food" in less than 24 hours this past weekend.


[I'm pausing for your applause.]

You GUYS.

Crack. It's like crack. Or, it's like what I assume crack to be.

I made the mistake of going to Walmart in Cabo, distributor of all things terrible, and I bought this.

And it was incredible.

It had a hold on me.

When the level of cheese had fallen below the point of allowance for a clean chip dip, I pressed on until my knuckles were covered in cheese. (Classy.) Then when I realized that I was WASTING some of it I proceeded to introduce a mini spatula and I scraped the jar until it was crystal clear.

CRYSTAL CLEAR.

And my pants are tighter (so I'm wearing a dress today) and I'm not exactly sure what it was made of.  "Real cheese"? Yeah. Right.

And I'm pretty certain it wasn't organic.

And I know that "food" is not supposed to make you happy...

But I'm happier. I swear it.

YOLO.

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3 comments:

  1. um, fake or not, good-for-you or not, organic or not - that stuff is really good/addicting/delicious. i congratulate you for polishing off this jar, even if you had to get your hands and spatula in there to help you out. keep fighting the good fight (with your jeans)!
    love,
    Miss

    ReplyDelete
  2. this made me love you even more. there is no shame in cheesy knuckles... that stuff is incredible! :)

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  3. I've had cheese knuckles from a similar jar o' cheese before. Addictive!!

    ReplyDelete

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