The past 48.


Ah, the past 48 hours.

*Note: Craig has been gone since 5:20 a.m. on Friday. He's in Ohio, returning tomorrow night.

*Another Note: These past several days with my girls has been kind of awesome. Crazy. Filled with games, sand boxes, laughing, hosing off the plants (Vivi doesn't water, she hoses.), sweeping, sidewalk chalk, snacks, apples, jumping in the bouncer, riding bikes, more giggling, cuddling, movies, books and good.things. We may need to send Craig away a bit more often... this is good Mommy/Ladies time.

Ok.

Sunday afternoon. Vivi's napping after not sleeping much the night before. I'm attempting a nap while Lila is over at her cousin's house playing. Vivi wakes up an hour early from her nap and won't go back to bed. I decide we'll have some movie-time on the couch because I'm tired.

We walk down the hall, into the living room and there it is.

A bird. 

UGH. Seriously?





I know this bird. This bird frequents our indoor/outdoor laundry room and usually keeps to herself. She knows that I'm a transitioning bird-lover. (They're sketchy little beasts that I'm trying to love respect.)

We freak her out. (Ironically.)
She flies around my kitchen, dining room and then down the hallway past the girls' rooms and into my bedroom.

Oh no you didn't, little bird.

My bedroom?



I decide not to get worried about this.
I open the sliding doors in the living room and the courtyard doors and the indoor/outdoor laundry room door providing 3 points of escape.

An hour later (seriously), the bird is still in the other part of the house. Bright spot: she's now out of my room however she's now in the girls' bathroom.

I attempt to send the dogs into the bathroom to rile her up.
It didn't work.

Ferg's afraid of birds.
And Millie would eat a bird. I'm not trying to clean up dead-bird in my bathroom.

I then decide that birds like bread. (Or is it ducks?) and I make a BREAD.CRUMB.TRAIL for our bird "friend" to follow out of the bathroom. But, as I suspect, she's dumb and keeps flying from the vanity to the skylight, vanity to the skylight, vanity to the skylight... without seeing the bread crumbs that I so slyly placed for her.



I wait.

I send Vivienne in there. Yes, my almost-two-year-old. "Vivi, go get your book out of the bathroom."

(I'm a terrible mother.)

She goes in there, I watch, squatting down in the hallway just in case the bird comes sailing out of the bathroom I'll be low-enough that she and I won't experience any sort of physical run-in.

Vivi's in the bathroom. I can see her. She's literally moving her head from left to right, left to right, vanity to skylight, vanity to skylight.

She's shocked. And silent.

She walks, oddly calmly, back out to see me. She then says, "Birdy... shower... stuck! stuck! stuck! Come! Come!"

Finally I grow up and instead of sacrifcing my toddler I decide that I've got to get the flipping bird out of my house. It's been an hour and a half -- granted for the majority of this time I've calmly sat waiting for the bird to leave on her own accord... Still, I knew I had to take matters into my own hands. Into the bathroom I went. The bird is still zooming from the vanity to the skylight. I hop into the tub (BRAVELY! I'm in the same physical space as a BIRD!) open the window and screen in the shower lightening-fast and as quick as I can get out of the shower she flies away.

And that was that.

Vivi laughed hysterically and kept saying, "Birdy! Shower! Stuck! Go!" over and over again.

She thought it was awesome.

I nearly had a heart-attack.

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Then there was this morning.

Lila's first day back to school and I had a first-thing-in-the-morning meeting about a website that we were supposed to launch today. I had prepped the night before as much as possible. I should have dressed Lila in her uniform before she went to bed like Craig's Mom used to do, but I didn't.

6:00 a.m. - I get up to work out.

6:45 a.m. - Vivi is up. Smiling. Sitting on the couch watching me do Insanity. "Go Mommy!"



6:50 a.m. - I'm in the shower; Vivi's on my bed with my U.S. iPhone watching the annoying Dora episode where her baby brother and baby sister are born. "A baby! A baby! A baby!" I really don't like Dora. And I will admit that my iPhones do watch my children sometimes. Judge me not.

by 7:20 - I am make-uped, dressed and even ACCESSORIZED. Ready for work. Now on to getting the ladies ready.

7:22 a.m. - Lila walks in my room.



She looks at me: "Vivienne pooped on my floor."

Me: "Good morning, Lila. I'm hard-pressed to think that Vivi pooped on your floor. I've known of her whereabouts all night and this morning."

Lila: Shrugs her shoulders.

Me: "Do you want to eat breakfast?"

Because that's what Moms do. You can talk about poop and breakfast in the same conversation without getting grossed out. I didn't check for any excrement because I couldn't smell any anywhere and I happen to have QUITE the nose.

7:35 a.m. - Girls are sitting in their chairs eating frozen pancakes pre-made by their father (Thanks, C) and Lila is dipping her hair through her syrup, accidently.

7:45 a.m. - Lila's hair is covered in syrup because everything I put in her hair to keep it from getting into her food keeps falling out. Really?

Lila then knocks a cup of milk off the table and on to the floor, all over the chairs -- everywhere. I didn't even say anything. I just grabbed a wash cloth and cleaned it up while wearing my work clothes. She looks at me. (She's the kind of kid who can't quite handle when she messes up.) I smile. "Don't worry, Lila. Accidents happen."

7:55 a.m. - Dishes put away. Girls cleaned up. Vivienne has been wiped up three separate times because when the child eats syrup it's amazing how she gets it EVERYWHERE.

8:00 a.m. - Lila is standing in her room disgusted. I walk in just as Vivienne steps in what appears to be dog throw-up. Yes. AH! THERE IT IS! That's the poop that Lila was talking about in her room a half an hour ago.

It appears that Ferg slept with Lila and proceeded to throw up in three separate locations in her room.

So, I put Vivienne on the roller-coaster that is currently residing in our hallway outside of Lila's bedroom door and tell her not to move.

I then clean up three-separate piles of dog sickness. (In my work clothes and accessories.)  I then lysol-wipe everything including Vivienne's feet, her pant leg and Lila's feet. (You lysol-wipe your second child. You never do that to your first.)

I get Lila dressed for school.

Vivienne is still sitting on top of the roller coaster.

"I walk now?"

Yes, Vivienne - you are free to get up now. I'm sorry I forgot about you.

By 8:15 a.m. Nelly is here to watch Vivienne and we are out the door with my breakfast and lunch packed, Lila's lunch packed and in her backpack and Vivienne's daily lunch packed and in the fridge.

Out the door we go.

We get to my car and my ONE Jeep key fob died yesterday. Do you know what this means? It means when I unlock my car door manually and then OPEN my door the alarm sounds. I have to hurryupandbequick and put the key in the ignition to stop the RIDICULOUS loud car alarm.

I get Lila in her seat and she immediately starts bawling because her favorite animal, Petal, is not in the car. (We have a car-Petal, a house-Petal and about six extras.) I have to RUN back into the house because she's not just crying a little she's having a MELTDOWN and seriously? What's the big deal. She's 3 and she wants her bunny.

So, we finally get to school.

Then I get to work.

Then the day is crazy. I ate my oatmeal at my desk. Then I eat my not-re-heated vegetable soup at my desk.

Then Lila has to be picked up at 2.

Then she has ballet at 4.

Then I saw this butterfly on the brush outside of Lila's ballet studio and I thought, "Wow. Now isn't this life awesome?"

The chaos. Oh, the chaos. But then beauty, too.

This will be the chaos I miss when my little butterflies fly away.




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2 comments:

  1. Oh...this made me laugh. This sounds like every day of my life. And at the end of the day, all I can do is look back and laugh. Did that really happen today? Yes, yes it did. And yesterday and the day before... ;) Toddlers. Never a dull moment.

    The bird thing had me cracking up because I totally would have done the same thing and sent my kid in there. Haha.

    Yesterday, I just wanted 30 seconds to myself to use the restroom alone. You know, close the door, not have anyone pounding on it. So I 'thought' everyone was occupied, went into our bedroom bath by myself. Come out no more than 20-30 seconds later and V has the toilet cleaning wand AND the thing it sets in, dragging it down my hallway with a GIANT smile on his face. He thinks he's helping me. Doing a good job. Cleaning for me. WITH A TOILET WAND AND TOILET WATER. All I could think was....Yep, this is happening. I know what I'll be doing for the next hour now! All while wearing NICE clothes because I was getting ready to go out for a girls night. So my non-mom, fancy clothes and accessories were cleaning toilet water off of every inch of my hallway and 1 year old. That's true life. ;)

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  2. This made me laugh out loud...because it's all too relateable (well, except the bird part....haha). I'm new to this world of two kids....and everyday I realize the best way to cope is laughter....plain and simple! : )

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