Golden Globes Fashion Recap: 2013


I love Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. Yay for these two. I mean, they're funny. And their monologue was entertaining and not nasty or offensive.

They're so cool.

And since this post is about fashion, let's talk about their red carpet looks.

1. Tina Fey looks better than she.has.ever.looked.
2. But her dress. It isn't great. I don't like the tuxedo top. It kinda looks, cheap. And the tea-length just sort of seemed odd. But again, that Pantene hair looks fab.
3. And Amy Poehler always has questionable taste. I believe she's wearing a Brittney Spears cast-off complete with Diamonique choker.


Let's dig right in, shall we?

Eva Longoria is too petite for this dress. It's too big for her. It's a lot of dress.
I sort of hate it.


I'm not sure what exactly I want to see Adele in, but I kinda want it to maybe one day be something different?
It's always mid-century-style.
It's always black.
It's always 3/4 sleeves.
And... I'm bored.

Her hair looks fun, though. And her eye makeup is always awesome.


When I watched Debra Messing on E!'s red carpet special I was like, "Ugh. I hope other people are dressed better than her."

I stand by that initial statement.

BORING.



So Kristen Wiig is always like, "Yeah, I'm going to an awards show... no big deal... I'll do my own hair." And I just don't think that ever works. Her hair always looks kind of bad. I mean, that's awesome everyday hair. That's not amazing awards show hair.

But her dress is cool and I really liked the back.

Whatever.


Kate Hudson looked cool. I liked it. Would I wear it? Never. Did she rock it? Yes. 


Another [unfortunate] example of gold and black.
First off - is Nicole Kidman human?
Secondly, I don't get this. I understand and enjoy the trend of peak-a-book midriffs, but I'm not a huge fan of this look. The top-half with the bra-like cut-out (underneath) KILLS me. The sea-shell middle is horrendous.

Eek.


This Rosie Huntington Whitley (sp?) has too much side-boob showing.

And she looks like she's taking her self too seriously while dressing like Darth Vader.

I do, however, like the coat of the woman in the back right. She's got great highlights, too. :)


Looks to me like Sarah Hyland was all, "Look. I'm old enough. I am bringing my hoots out to play."

I get it.

It's got to be hard to be around Sofia Vergara all the time. 

Her hair looks cute, too.


Her T.V. sister, Ariel Winter, looks adorable.

I enjoyed the color. I enjoyed the playfullness. I don't even mind the odd headband and the not-perfect shoes.

Work it, little lady. Work it.


Julie Bowen looks great. I like her hair. I love that color. I love those bracelets.
She looks fantastic.

 
It's almost exhausting, isn't it?
Fine.
YES, HALLE BERRY - YOU ARE STILL THE MOST GORGEOUS WOMAN IN THE UNIVERSE.


So here's Amy Adams wearing a ballet pink creation. You know, I'm sort of smitten with it. Her skin, the combo? Gorgeous.

I just loathe the sheets of tulle spraying out from the bottom.
And as far as styling goes, her hair looks like something that could have been dyed black and worn on Prince's head in 1984. It's kind of ew.


Amanda Seyfried is wearing this crazy, geometric, fun Givenchy gown and hair uber-long hair is covering it all up. Sista - move your hair.

Cool gown - but I'm not a huge fan of how the material collects in the front and streams down. I have a really inappropriate comment that I really want to write but I can't for fear you'll think much, much less of me.

So we'll leave it at that.


When I saw Anne Hathaway I was concerned.
She looks like awfully twig-ish.
So I had to google a photo.
Then I thought, it's got to be the angle, right?


Nope. It's not the angle.
She's just really, really thin.

Sigh.

This is the best her hair has looked since cutting it short.
And her dress is boring.
I have a pair of textured white sheets that are actually cooler than this.


Hayden Panettiere has been inspired by country music. Clearly. She's on that Nashville show now, you know. But I will say - I think she looks better than she's ever looked. I just don't love it.

(The purse is stupid.)


Isla Fisher's dress was cool. Not blown away. But lovely.


Lea Michele needs to chill with the spray-tanning. I think that's over, no? And the dress is baggy. And I feel that Lea is slightly delusional about her height.

Here, I'll tell her:

Hey? You? You're not tall. Stop dressing like you are. Your slit is obscene. I saw you walking on stage to present that award. I think I saw more than I should have.


I just like this picture.


Oh, Blossom. I literally want to put my arm around Mayim Bialik and be her best friend, you could call me Six, and I'd hug her. I'd be all, "Hey - stand up straight, ok? Because you kind of look bad."

Bad dress.

It's really just too bad.

But who doesn't love tinsel?


Megan Fox, shut up.


Looks like Mel Gibson is still slightly askew.


Nope. Not ok. Nene Leakes, this isn't ok.

(Does her dress close?)


I love her. I love Helena Bonham Carter.
She has a lip purse.


Julianne Moore looks gorgeous.
I love.this.gown.
(Her hair is great, too.)


I really want to love this gown.
Maybe it's just not on the right person?
I love the color. I just don't think it was meant for Nicole Richie.


There's always one.
There's always one who wears a BIG BOW.
I'm sorry for Salma Hayek's ensemble.
And I'm sure she doesn't care because she's Salma Hayek.


How cute are Bruno Mars and Miley Cyrus?


Look at Jennifer Garner.
She looks effortless.
And just really, really pretty.

 Let's start my worst dressed, shall we?

I hate peplums.
To me, peplums translate to unnecessary extra fabric around the middle. And since I'm short, I don't need extra fabric. Around my middle.
Rosario Dawson is a gorgeous woman. This gown is just wrong. Cut it off at the knee and wear it to your daughter's wedding shower.


Sienna Miller looks like a cad.
It's winter. Why are you wearing springtime blooms?
Why didn't you do your hair?
Why do you have two earrings in one ear?
Just go home.


I'm not sure if ya'll saw this on little Miss Taylor Swift but when she turned to the side it seemed as if the boob darts were oddly pointy and ill-fitting.

This Donna Karan in the ever-popular bordeaux was not good. The double straps at the top reminded me of something "formal" I wore in high school.

Blech. Even that guy in the background hates it.


I don't know who this is, but why didn't her assistant straighten her out?
Blech.


Heidi Klum does not disappoint, does she?
Here she is again.
Too tan.
Too tight.
Too much showing.
(I hate her shoes.)



Look! Jodie Foster is wearing Vanna White's old dress!
(Her speech... she's articulate. I might not admit that my eyes had a tear. I think she said everything she needed to say. She deserved that standing ovation.)


Jessica Alba is GORGEOUS. However, the top seemed to be ill-fitting and the handbag is ill-positioned.

[insert snicker here]

(Look, she looks just like the runway model wearing this Oscar de la Renta gown.)


I love Jessica Chastain. However, her Ralph Lauren frock is so, so, so ill-fitting.
WHAT HAPPENED?

(This is just so sad. What a miss.)


Sally Field is a gorgeous woman.
But her dress is also ill-fitting.
I just think it could have been better.
She's showing far too much.
I mean, she's no Helen Miren.


I wanted so badly to like Zooey Deschanel's dress but it's falling down, no?
And the pleating at the hips was ridiculously unflattering even on Zooey's new, thinner body. (What happened? I thought she was gorgeous the way she was. Ugh. Hollywood.)


My second-worst dressed was, (and I'm sorry), Giuliana Ranic.

WHAT IS THIS?

Why is your hair like that?

Here's your Get Out of Jail Free card. I EXPECTED MORE.


And my ABSOLUTE worst-dressed was Alyssa Milano.

The color was heinous.
The belt-thing was WEIRD.
The part in her hair was severe.

THIS is terrible. Blech.


And now, on to my favorites.

Emily Blunt looks fantastic. I love the color combo.


Lady Mary (Michelle Dockery) looks gorgeous.
That sillhouette.
So lovely.


What a little rockstar.
Kelly Osbourne is wearing a gorgeous Zac Posen. I'm jealous.


Seriously?
J-Lo is gorgeous.
I mean, really?


Is her boyfriend 19?
Good for you, Jennifer.
Definitely better than The Rat.

(And look at the original runway model wearing this dress. Um, J-Lo puts her to shame.)


Alright, Jennifer Lawrence rocked this gown. I understand and realize that the corset top had a very bullet-boob-like look, but really? If anyone can rock that, it's her.

Look at her.

Um. Excellent. She looks better than the original runway model.


...And Claire Danes had a baby a month ago. (I'll get to that in a minute.)

She always dresses well. She looks gorgeous.

Now pregnant friends. You will not look like this after you give birth. This isn't real.
This is Hollywood magic. Don't even consider comparing yourself to these aliens. It's not normal.


And... my second favorite dress...

COME ON.

You KNEW I was going to love this.

It's BIG.
And floral.
Great silhouette.
Great braid thing.
Lucy Liu - you rocked it, Sound of Music-style and I like it.


Now, my best dressed is this little lady whose show I've never seen.

Katharine McPhee.

The eyes. The hair pulled back. That dress.

Um. Fantastic.


That's all kids.

What did you think?

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6 comments:

  1. Heather (Chicago Mom)7:19 AM, January 14, 2013

    I don't agree with you on Taylor Swift or Jessica Alba. Those were 2 of my favs!!! :-) The rest I agree with you. Can't wait to watch Joan tonight. :-)

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  2. I was pretty underwhelmed overall. I think my favorite was Jennifer Garner. She looked pretty and everything seemed right - the hair, the makeup, the dress, while neither exciting nor bland, was exactly as it should be.

    Jennifer Lawrence looked great. She's a very pretty girl. The dress was a tad weird in boob area but the rest was cool.

    And I did like Michelle Dockery's dress.

    Claire Danes can shut up with that nonsense. A month ago?! She must have not eaten a meal since then. But I love her so. She looked great.

    Julie Bowen, also nice.

    I find Anne Hathaway completely insufferable. I hated her dress. I loathed her speech.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Agreed, @mlmarczak. Totally underwhelmed as well. Just seemed like everyone was sloppier than usual somehow. Even Claire Danes seemed that way to me this time – though banging body for after-birth! I did like Emily Blunt, Jennifer Garner and even Julianne Hough (just cuz it was a little different. Incredibly bored by J. Lo's need to wear nude-like dresses and so many black dresses in general. I still can't decide what I thought of Jennifer Lawrence's dress. Most of it was beautiful but I couldn't stop looking at her boobs.

    I've really tried to like Anne Hathaway for some reason but last night totally was it for me. Ew. Everything out of her mouth seemed so fake and scripted. Totally turned me off for good.



    Thanks for another awesome recap, K! (LOVE the random Wahlberg and Diddy pic... Hehehe.)

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is probably my favorite fashion recap. So funny. I love that you called Seacrest & Whatshername, Bruno and Miley. LOL

    My faves were Michelle Dockery and Jennifer Garner.

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  5. "I'm bringing my hoots out to play." I can not stop laughing!!

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  6. Shut up, Megan Fox. HAHAHAHAH! OH SWEET LORD that made me laugh - to the point of tears. I LOVE THIS. I didn't even watch and I was more looking forward to reading this than watching.



    YES Marky Mark!

    I do still play the game where I look at the pic and try to guess if you like it or not and I am TERRIBLE at it. I never know.

    I don't understand J-Lo's body. How does it go in and then jut out like that whilst still having a flat stomach? Incredible.

    ReplyDelete

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