My dance costume retrospective.

11/27/2012 05:08:00 AM
A couple of years ago when my Mom came to visit Cabo she brought with her some extra pics of my childhood. She thought I'd want them.

I did. But after looking at the pics I solidly decided that she gave me all of the most horrendous, non-flattering and awkward photos I've ever taken because she didn't want them.

I don't blame her.

They're not good.

First - let me explain that I started taking dance when I was 2 and stopped around 16.

Secondly - let me explain that my Mom did horrible things to my hair. I was easily bribed and would do just about anything for a jean jacket. (You'll see.)

Thirdly - I wasn't a cute kid.

So first, this one.

Cute. Sweet baby Kylee. It was a little Hawaiian dance number. Cute enough.

I don't hate this. I peaked when I was 3.



Then there's this one.

This is clearly the beginning of the end. But, at least I looked like a girl.


Then... there was this.

That's me in the middle with the big glare on me.

What am I doing? It doesn't look appropriate for a tween.


But this, friends? Oh... Oh this...

This is why I will never cut my girls' hair. The wounds are raw. Still.

Here I am in the turban. Hiding the hair debacle.


And, then there I am SANS the turban.

I'm a boy.

I'm a boy with a bowl cut wearing a unitard.

I remember feeling as if I had been sucker-punched when I rolled into dance the week they showed us the costume that was chosen for our class. I was hoping for a flouncy skirt, something girly and cute. NOPE.

We got cast-off's from Scott Hamilton's ice skating shows, no?


It gets better.

Now, I'm a boy with a MULLET.

Go ahead.

I'll wait.

Laugh hysterically.

This haircut happened because my Mom said she'd buy me a jean jacket if I cut my hair in a "spike." I did it. And she bought the jacket. But it was a boy's jacket. Which didn't make the situation any better.

(Craig says I looked like Chuck Norris here. Like I was all, "Hang on, let me quickly rock out this jazz number then I will martial law your _____.")


So the pre-teen years were awesome.

The teen years got even better.

"Hang on, I gotta curl my bangs, MOM!"


Cool. I was just SO COOL.


 Oh friends.

 Happy Tuesday.

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13 comments:

  1. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO KYLEE! This is the best post of all time. The Chuck Norris? I'm laughing in support because you KNOW I went through it too. HOLY CRAP this is funny.

    You have to feel good because you are so hot now, but, lady, you earned it.

    Amazing. LOVE YOU!


    Plus, I firmly believe that women that were never awkward or had to deal with any "looks" issues are not as strong as those that have had to use their brain and personality and not just rely on looks. Truth!

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  2. OMG, OMG, OMG. OH.EM.GEE. those are AWESOME! seriously. you've inspired me to someday do the same flashback (i was in dance from 4 - 14; sometimes i believe we shared 75% of the same life, not kidding). I freaking love that chuck norris cut. i had tears in my eyes from laughing. but, look how beautiful you turned out!!!!

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  3. Oh stop. You were so cute!! Maybe you had a bad haircut (or 2) but it doesn't take away from your prettiness. You should see some of the horrendous perms I had in the 80's. My senior picture? Horrific! lol

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  4. I'm so glad you enjoyed this. And secretly, I knew that you would like the Chuck Norris comment. :)

    And I'm with you - those of us who are awkward had to rely on our other attributes. We all can't be super models.

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  5. A. We DO share 75% of the same life. I just lack a twin.
    B. I'm glad you've enjoyed these.
    C. I'd love to see your flashback.

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  6. I would LOVE to see your senior picture. I'm sure you rocked a perm like NO other. :)

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  7. Oh my gosh, Kylee....I LOVE THIS!!


    I literally laughed out loud multiple times through this post! FANTASTIC.


    That second picture was ME at that same age! I have many pictures SO similar to yours that I posted awhile ago, so I am happy to see I was not alone with the boy hair cut and even the mullet...though your Chuck Norris mullet is FAR better than mine was....well done, Kylee. WELL. DONE.


    I like to think our children are all so damn cute now and will now have to look back at horrendous photos of themselves, but I fear they will be doing the same thing we are right now :)


    THANK YOU for sharing these! And I agree, you are gorgeous now....so what is a little awkwardness growing up ;-)


    P.S. The "I peaked when I was 3" line had me crying at my desk. Oh friend, I can hear you saying that...miss you

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  8. MISS you, too. And I LOVE your photo retrospectives, too. LOVE THEM.

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  9. Oh. Oh. Oh. THIS was wonderful. I kept it together until the mullet. As much as I love you, I still have my limits. Athena thinks it's AMAZING that you were such the dancer. I'm sure she'll look back fondly at her dance pictures when her dad cute her hair.

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  10. I sooo needed a good laugh today, thank you . I love you dear. Glad you lived through all those ugly haircuts.

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  11. Dude. DUDE. This is fantastic. Thank you for sharing! You hubby is hilarious with his Chuck Norris comparison.

    So, for Craig... my favorite Chuck Norris joke:

    Why isn't there a street named after Chuck Norris?
    ...
    Because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

    :)

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  12. Exactly. I went back to look at this again today - CHUCK! I love it! LOVE IT!

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