Whose kid is this?

Yesterday in the car. We had to run ONE errand and Lila was slightly irate. Vivienne was not.

Alright, in this post I explained how our doctor said that Lila would have her toughest time post-surgery around days #4, #5 and #6. Friends, countrymen, we're on DAY EIGHT and she's still a wreck.

My patience is wearing thin.

From what I've been reading online (Note: Did you know that WebMD has a MAGAZINE? I did not know this either, I may need to subscribe, or perhaps I should become a contributing reporter since I think I can diagnose anything. I digress.), since she won't eat, her muscles are contracting in her throat making it painful when she does eat. Remedy? EAT.

So, I called the nurse at the doctor's office today and explained what's going on with her JUST TO MAKE SURE IT WAS NORMAL behavior for a three-year-old. (I won't go into all of the details, but she IS drinking and eats occassionally.)

Our lovely ENT called back and of course I couldn't find my phone because Vivi had put it in the fridge on the lowest shelf behind the water bottles. So after I found it (thank God my mother-in-law called and I could hear the phone ringing), I listened to my voicemail from the ENT.

"It sounds like she might be dehydrated and if she IS dehydrated take her to the emergency room and get her hooked up to AN I.V.  By this point she should be feeling better and should be eating... blah, blah, blah."

Um. As if.

Craig's gone, my mother-in-law's gone, I am not taking Vivi to the emergency room with Lila and I. And we are NOT going to the ER twice in one month; twice during our "vacation." AS IF. (I had to say it again.) She was TOTALLY dehydrated on our last ER visit; this time she is not. She's just in pain.

SO, I told Lila: "IT. IS. TIME.TO. EAT. I talked to the doctor and if you do NOT eat you will have to go to the hospital and get an IV (I explained what it was; she remembered it from her surgery) and it will not be fun."

She looked at my like, "I think she's serious."

So, I set the timer on the stove to go off every 1 minute and 39 seconds (I don't know why either) and each time she heard it beep she had to eat a bite of her applesauce.

They were the most pitifully small bites ever. AHHHHHHHH. 

Nearly 40 minutes later - the applesauce was gone and Lila was talking up a storm again and saying, "I feel kinda better but I still need to rest up." (That stupid "Rest Up" Yo Gabba Gabba "Rest Up" song is in my head daily.)

GOOD. 

After she was done eating she asked, "You going to call the doctor to tell him?"

So I said, "Absolutely." I picked up my phone (which was shockingly not in the fridge) and fake-called the doctor (clever again) and "he told me to tell her GREAT JOB and that she needed to keep eating ALL day today."

She nodded.

However, let's note that thus far she has turned down everything but Kroger-brand rainbow sherbet  for sustenance, including, but not limited to:
  • Pudding packs (we didn't even try jell-o. She hates it.) WHAT KID HATES PUDDING?
  • Popscicles
  • Greek yogurt pops
  • Chocolate bars
  • Mandarin oranges
  • Capri-suns and any flavored "kid's" drink
  • Gum
All of the things that kids are supposed to like, she hates. However, about 30 minutes post-fake-doctor-phone-call she ate a pack of ho-ho's. Nutritious? Absolutely not. BUT THE KID MUST EAT.I'm glad she ate them.

By golly, she is an American.

Presently she is resting in the chair (napping) and all is well.

Whew.

This is almost over, RIGHT??????

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6 comments:

  1. I looked at the picture and said "hey! I have that same caraway!" Derp.

    Have they been out of the house? Is Lila even WANTING to go out of the house for Mimi/papa/cousin time?

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  2. Awe, what a sad photo! Great thinking with the timer and fake phone calls. I'm glad she's eating something! Hope it's nothing but better from here!

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  3. oh, Lila. I hope she is back to her fun self very soon. oh, Vivi! Her pictures crack me up just as much as the one of you in the...the space coaster or whatever it is called :)

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  4. I'm sorry, but this made me laugh. Especially the part about your phone of course being in the fridge. Hilarious.

    Amazing work with the timer idea. You get a gold mama star. Enjoy it! because you need all the stars you can get right now and not drinks. Nope, definitely not drinks. Ahem.

    Seriously - I hope she is feeling better very soon and that the hoho's work their magic. They are magic right?

    I am with you on the frustrating - you call to check on something being normal thing and end up with a ridiculous recommendation to go to the ER. As if is right. The worst!

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  5. Greek yogurt pops - are these homemade?

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    Replies
    1. Hey you! Nope, they were purchased at Kroger. :)

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