Oscar 2012 Fashion Recap


Fashion. Let's talk fashion.

Natalie Portman looks as if she could add spaghetti straps to that dress and wear it to a Kentucky Derby Party.

I hate it.

And the necklace, while gorgeous because there are diamonds involved, is tacky. I rarely like anything Natalie wears. She always looks off.



Tina Fey is wearing Carolina Herrera and she looks lovely. I appreciate that she didn't overdo the accessories. And though I'm not a huge fan of the peplum style or navy per se (or is it black?), I think that Tina looks pretty great.



Also sporting the peplum-style was Michelle Williams. (She's wearing Louis Vuitton.)

Eh. I love her hair, but the dress does absolutely nothing for me. It just hangs. She's always demure. Can we see sexy one day?

And, I'm allergic to chokers. My advice: if you want to wear a choker because you think it'll look great with your outfit, it won't.

I did, however, think the pink clutch was fun and cute.


On to the funny ladies. Kristen Wiig is wearing J Mendel and I am always a fan of the bo-ho, beachy look, but I feel like she ALWAYS wears "nude." I'm not overwhelmed, at all.

I'm not so sure about the drop-waist.


Melissa McCarthy looks fantastic. It's so nice seeing her in a color other than black or dark green.


Dare I say this is the best Maya Rudolph has looked all awards season? I'm not a fan of her over-the-one-shoulder curls, but the color is great and the belt is cute.

(I'd like to see the back.)

(And I'd like to be best friends with her.)


Sheri Shephard looks amazing in this color. It photographs so well. But what, in the WORLD, is the deal with the peak-a-boo bra at the Oscars?

Come on.


Virginia Madsden actually looks age-appropriate for the first time this decade.

The jewel tone is lovely. Would I wear it? No.

That's because I hate purple.


Kelly Ripa (why was she there?) is wearing a formal nike tennis dress. I'm serious. Doesn't it look ridiculous?

I hate the belt, too. Or, shall I say, "I hate the belts, too."


I love Leslie Mann. I hate navy. (Why do funny women always wear navy? Tina Fey ALWAYS wears navy.) This is terrible. It's like a prom gown with a beach cover-up sarong draped at the hips.

I'm confused.


I hate this. Bing Bing Li looks dumb.

Really, you needed to wear matchy-matchy feather earrings, too?  Because the cake-like feathers on the ENTIRE dress weren't enough?


Best hair of the night goes to Esmeralda Spalding. All of this? It works for me.

It just works.

I love it.

And I feel for the unlucky bloke who has to sit behind her.


Giuliana looks gorgeous. I'm a fan of the seashell-looking shoulders, they're awesome. (For her.) And I'm so pleased that her hair extensions are nicely tucked away.


Cameron Diaz looks fine. I'm not blown away. Her hair is, but I'm not.

(Her upper-body is amazing.)


J-Lo - WE GET IT. You look amazing. We've all seen so much of you so many times. You look great, it's true. You hair, on the other hand, is a little two five-year-old-at-ballet-class-esque.

This dress isn't my fave.


Everyone was wigging out about Milla Jovich's Elie Saab dress. It's lovely, for sure. I love the one-shoulder deal.


Oh, Busy Phillips.

I think it's the styling that I find so offensive. The volley-ball-girl hair over one shoulder, the earrings, the pink shoes, the too-short gown. It's all, as Lila would say, "lucky."

And by "lucky", Lila means "yucky." (She isn't great with her, "L's.")


For me, there appeared to be a trend with young actors dressing a titch more matronly than necessary.

I'm usually a huge fan of Emma Stone, but I happen to think that this gown (which fits her impeccably) isn't great. It reminds me of a little number that Nicole Kidman wore previously on another red carpet.

And the pink eye shadow makes it appear as if she has pink eye. NO ONE SHOULD WEAR PINK EYE SHADOW.

Correction: White people shouldn't wear pink eye shadow. Ever.



Glenn Close couldn't quite decide if she was going to wear a tux or a gown, so she decided on both.

It's not working for her.

This is just too many elements: jacket, external boning, dual-colored chiffon fish tail?

PASS.


Now, here is a jacket done right. Louise Roe looks great. I love the color. And I love the ruffles/angles.

It might be a little Mother-of-the-Bride-ish, but I like it.


Judy Greer's gown is horrid. There is nothing flattering about this.

I have no words for how much I hate this.


I actually quite like this dress on Kate Mara. What I love is the ethereal beauty of this litle number. It's gorgeous. What I don't like, is the fit.

Does it not appear to be falling off of her? Something has gone awry here.


I was hoping that maybe this wasn't Sandra Bullock when I saw the dress.

It's certainly understated.

But I don't love it. It looks like a thousand little gold french fires surrounding her waist.

Absolutely NO shape. None. Boo. (I love her.)


Rose Byrne is gorgeous -- and I loved her last red carpet outfit (the pantsuit) -- and she looks incredible in this, as well.

Perhaps everyone should have the opportunity to wear black sequins at some point in their lives.


WHAT IS THIS? Penelope Cruz is apparently guest-starring on an episode of Mad Men right after the Oscars.

This.is.so.boring.

(UGH. Another choker.)

[insert mature puking noise.]


Meryl Streep looks beautiful. But I'll tell you what, every time she gets fancy she wears at least one horrendous accessory.

That belt? Not necessary.



Tee hee. Oh, this is too easy. Lara Croft looks the SAME as she always looks.

Slightly 80's, burnt-out hair. Ridiculous pose. Boring. Another black dress.

Whatever.


I'm seriously going to start posing like this when I'm waiting to pick Lila up from school.


I love the color of Bernenice Bejo's gown. I just can't get the past long sleeves.

Perhaps I would have preferred this without the sleeves.

I'll let the designer know.


I loved Ellie Kemper's look. The bangs, ok, they might be a bit heavy -- but the copper was fantastic.

This Armani Prive gown is perfect for the Oscars. I loved it.


You know, I like this gown.  I just hate the rose on the hip.

Because really, the gold lame isn't already enough?



Sarah Hyland's gown is torturous. Ill-fitting. Horrendous color. It's wrinkled.

Blech.


I liked this. I did. I liked Kelly O's gown. Specifically, I thought the sheer, shoulder-area cut-outs, were extremely flattering. I'd wear this.


THIS IS THE BEST that Octavia Spencer has ever looked. Absolute perfection. I adore the beading. She looks great.


Wendy from Bridesmaids looks as if she borrowed this dress from Taylor ("Oh-my-gosh-I-just-won-my-53rd-grammy-can-you-believe-it?!) Swift.

It just looks too small.

And the chiffon needs to be yanked off.


Shailene Woodley's gown is cool. But let's be honest, it's just not right on a 20-year-old.

The sleeves pain me.


Oh, this made me happy. Viola Davis looked stunning. Green was amazing on her.

And her hair is f.a.n.t.a.s.t.i.c.


I love the asymmetrical detailing on the bottom of her Vera Wang gown.


Now for my best dressed.

This was my runner up: Jessica Chastain.

I know, what am I thinking?

Here's the deal - this is such a departure for Jessica and it worked. I thought she looked amazing.



For the actual best dressed, I usually like to go with the "gasp" factor.

When I saw Gwyneth Paltrow I absolutely adored her look.

The cape worked.
Her hair is sleek and smooth and perfect.
Her makeup is just right.
I appreciate her accessories.
And when she presented? I absolutely loved the look of her dress sans cape.


Perfection.


 ...and the worst dressed this time was Rooney Mara.

I HATE this dress.

It's Givenchy and it's just not right. It gapes. It's big. It's awful.

I really hate this. And I'm sick of her bangs.


And P.S. - I cannot ABIDE Sasha Baron Cohen.

Thoughts on the matter?

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17 comments:

  1. Oh, these always crack me up...love your recaps! Highlight of my day and its only 8am!

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    1. Thanks, Liz! And thanks for the comment. I'm happy to make your Monday a bit more tolerable.

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  2. I didn't (usually don't) even watch the awards show...THIS is enough for me. I could care less who wins and your summary of the fashion is awesome.

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  3. Hah! Love these recaps! I was looking forward to reading this this morning. That Rooney gal - she looks sick. As in ill. Angelia makes ME want to puke. WHY stick the leg out?! I didn't see her do it on the carpet, but saw her do it on the stage. She looks so awkward. That's not a normal way to stand. We get it Angelina, you've got great legs and a super hot husband. Get over yourself!

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    1. Mara Rooney definitely has a certain "look" about her -- and no, it doesn't look overwhelmingly healthy.

      And seriously? Angelina's legs are NOT all that amazing. Can I say it? She's just washed up, to me. Has-been.

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  4. i was glad i'd get to start my day with this re-cap o' yours. :) angelina jolie needs to get.over.herself. i'm so sick of the dresses with the slits way up to her hooha. but last night she took it a step further by posing like a crazy person whenever she was not in motion. she put my husband over the edge, so he put himself to bed. :) and girl needs to EAT MORE. her arms wigged me out a bit. as for my faves of the night, i think viola and octavia looked FABULOUS. not only were their dresses and styling perfect for them, the cast from that movie just looked so happy and genuinely glad to be at the oscars... not bored and over it like so many celebs like to look.

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    1. Agreed. The skinny arms even made C. cringe.

      Viola and Octavia WERE divine.

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  5. Thank you for this excellent & thoughtful post, so full of ideas that I have printed it out so i can read again

    Lakhani Lawn Collection

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  6. Baaahahah!! You crack me UP! I cannot WAIT to see you posing at Kuruwi. Hilarious. You rock. :)
    -Bai

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    1. It will happen more than likely tomorrow. I need to find a dress with a super-high slit.

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  7. I only opened my computer today to read this!!! Love all your posts. I also HATE hate HATE chokers. And I think I might pay to see your Angelina pose while picking up Lila!

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  8. Hands down, Gwyneth Paltrow was best dressed. She looked fantastic. And so classy. No one else even came close.

    I thought Rose Bryne looked great. She would be my second favorite.

    As much as I adore Emma Stone, I'm quite certain someone has worn that dress before. Like two years ago. She looked great, but I was disappointed that it was so similar.

    Nicely done, Kylee.
    Oh, Angelina. You seem to try so hard to be aloof. You clearly care quite a bit. Kudos to the guy that mocked her on stage a few minutes later.

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    1. Gwyneth WAS incredible.

      What did you think about my runner up, Jessica Chastain? I can't believe I even liked the dress. It DOES sort of remind me of a take-off of Michael Jackson's old military blazers.

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  9. LOVE IT!

    I agree, Gwyneth looked amazing! Very nicely done.

    It made me sad to see what Sandra B. was wearing. She didn't look good, and I love her and wished she had. And it just wasn't her clothes, she looked all off last night.

    I really liked the color of Emma Stone's dress....just wished that darn bow wasn't there!

    What was up with Cameron Diaz's hair?!

    And seriously, what was up with the Angelina pose on stage?! Looked SO awkward. And I don't think she has great legs, they look sickly. She needs to keep those things under her dress. I also thought her dress looked like it weighed more than her...way to big for her body.

    Thanks again K. for a great recap!!

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    1. :) Thank YOU for the comment. And next year, we've got to beat Mickey D in the ballot race. I mean, really.

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  10. Ha! Good stuff. Is it me, or does it appear that Sandra Bullock has gone under the knife? Her eyes look all squinty. Sad.

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