2012 Grammy Fashion Recap

**I write this late at night. Ignore the errors, please.

More than a few times I said to Craig, "I don't even want to write a Grammy fashion recap. I mean, come on. This is all just ridiculous."

The clothes are were just stupid.

Still, this is what I do. I recap awards show fashions based on nothing other than the fact that I like clothes.

It was just hard this year. I mean, especially when you have stuff like this to look at:


And this. (Is she bleeding from her lady parts?)

(Excuse me.)


And this. (Is she holding a rose? Tell me she's holding a rose.)


And this. (I'm sorry. But really?)


So after seeing some of these fashions, I was literally as un-inspired as all get out.


I'm hoping that many of the Grammy artists and attendees decided that in light of Whitney Houston's passing they felt awkward smiling on the red carpet and decided to forgo it. I get it. I can respect that.

I can't, however, respect this... Nicki Minaj is offending Little Red Riding Hood. And I fast-forwarded through her performance.


Still, there were some stand-outs. And I'm not sure I mean that in a good way.

But this little lady looked great.

I love Adele. (Or, "Princess Adele" as Lila calls her.) She's incredible. She looked lovely. A little matronly - but I love the red lips, not huge hair and FLAWLESS skin. Gorgeous.


This rapper, by the name of "Wiz", I believe looks dirty. And his model-girlfriend (Amber something or another) is striking. In a Hulk Hogan-type of way.


I don't mind Bruno Mars as a general rule. (I run to him on my iPod.) However, his pants are too short. I think that and his tall hair are all part of his grand illusion to make us think he's taller than what he really is. Because let's be honest, those pants are no more than 12 inches long and he's 2 feet tall.


Carrie Underwood. GROSS. The back of this dress reminds me of the two-piece, yet still-one-piece swimsuit I wore when I was a tween. Do you remember these suits? They were a one-piece in the front and had a "bra-type" closure in the back.

Stupid then. Even stupider now.

This is just too much. Black bag? Black eyeliner? Vanna White hair?

I hate this.


I loved Cyndi Lauper's hair, and makeup and the top-half of her outfit.  I would have chosen sleek, skinny pants, not a big-'ole coat.

But seriously, let's talk hair. It's FANTASTIC.

She looks like an age-appropriate rocker. Well done, little lady.


Now, orange is my favorite color. However, Halloween is my least favorite holiday, so I'm really conflicted on this black and orange number.

Conflicted?

Wait. No, I'm not.

I'll tell you what, my dog's namesake: Fergie, is wearing a GORGEOUS swimsuit coverup. And my Mom's underwear look great on her, too. 

(Sorry, Mom.)


I had no idea that Glinda the Good Witch was at the Grammy's this year.

Incredible.


Kathy Griffin is a JERK but she looks better than she's ever looked. Ever.

Which is completely contradictory to what karma says...


Now, I liked Katy Perry's blue hair. Loved it, in fact. (Bet Bruno Mars wishes he could get that kind of height on his hair.)


...but, SHE NEEDS TO WEAR A BRA.

(Love the color of the dress. She looks beautiful.)

But WEAR A BRA. You'll regret it later.


Kelly Osbourne, you know I love her. She looks awesome. 

Still hate the hair, though.


Ladies Love Cool James (L.L. Cool J, to those who don't remember) is adorable. STILL

I adore his Kangol hats and will forever. (Does he age?)


I want to say that Miranda Lambert is wearing a shower curtain you'd find in my great aunt's bathroom...

...but then again I don't want her to key my car then set it on fire.


During the red carpet chatting I was thrilled to hear that Paris Hilton isn't using that ridiculous little, teeny girl, baby voice anymore.

Still, we heard enough about her in the early 00's, we need not hear anything from her for at least 8 years.

She owes us that.


Rihanna looked lovely. The bangs sort of bother me. But the dress is lovely. And the back was gorgeous.

I hope she's not really dating Chris Brown again.


Someone tell me: why does Taylor Swift ALWAYS appear to be so surprised when people clap for her?

DRIVES ME NUTS. And I hate her dress. It's too much.

AND, she's going to look just like Nicole Kidman when she gets older. Yep, she's going to look like a tall, creamy-white skinned Australian woman.

What? Weirder things have happened.


And now to my WORST dressed recipient.

First, I have to say that this was a ridiculously difficult decision given the caliber of dresses on the red carpet.

But the thing is, I just don't think you should skin and wear a seal.

Taraji P. Henson looks awful. The pink, the off-center belt-type thing separating the top from the bottom, the animal skin on the bottom half?

Just gross. Blech.

BURN THIS.


And, as far as the best goes, I liked two.

Skylar Grey

Ok, ok, so she looks a little severe in this picture... but on TV the dress was gorgeous.

I love it. I like the whole look.


Next, I adored Corrine Bailey Rae's little black number. That bottom? FABULOUS.

It's black. (I know.) And I know I always give black a hard time, but I love this. And it's Christian Siriano and that makes me happy.


So, your thoughts?

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P.S. I'd like to express thanks to my DVR. There is NO WAY I could have gotten through this telecast without it.

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6 comments:

  1. I just skipped the whole Grammy ordeal and looked up the dresses online. What was with the long, see through doilies this year? Weird. Plus did you see the Russian chick with the awesome guns....and I am not talking about her arms....she literally had guns (fake ones we hope) strapped to her right arm over a very fancy dress!! This is why the Grammys are always more entertaining that any other award show!!

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  2. I actually think Carrie Underwood was the best dressed of the evening! Hated Katy Perry's blue hair & dress.

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  3. Every year, someone (or some people) find new ways to be almost-naked (bra-less, see-through or way too tight). I'm waiting for the year someone is actually naked.

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  4. I love love love love love love love your fashion recaps. :) I think your comments are always hilarious and spot on...and the best part...I don't have to watch the shows! :)

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  5. I'd say I know 50% of the people you featured here.

    Everyone was a mess. Except Adele. She's classy.

    I felt ill after seeing Nicki Minaj "perform". Her dress was stupid. Her "performance" was stupid. Her act is stupid.

    I also thought Kelly Osbourne looked fantastic. Her hair color upsets me, but the rest of her looked great.

    The big enchilada is coming up next - The Oscars! Can't wait to read your thoughts!

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  6. I 100% agree with DVR being the only way through this show. I didn't even finish it last night, but I found myself just shaking my head in exasperation for most of the show. I mean really... how do we take 99% of that seriously?

    I lauged out LOUD at my desk when I read your comment about the bleeding from the lady parts dress.

    And I swear I said the exact same thing to my husband last night about Taylor Swift! Seriously - you ARE NOT surprised and I am not buying your innocent I can't believe people like me bit. It's annoying.

    I have no idea what Fergie was thinking - but it was BAD. Just really, really bad.

    Miranda was horrible too. I agree with Dr. Vashti - see through doilies are a poor choice!

    I agree with you on Corinne's dress - how fun would it be to twirl in that??

    I love when you post these - so much fun and I feel better that I didn't get to watch the whole show having at least read your reviews :)

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