Kenny G: An American Treasure

1/04/2012 05:08:00 AM
So I tuned into the Tournament of Roses parade on New Year's Day (or the day after, whichever it was) and sat through the opening singing number. (Creepy.) And then I sat back to view the first float.

I love parades. I like seeing the same 'ole balloons squeezing between buildings, I like to hear high school marching bands play Christmas tunes. I even like the batonists. (That would be my made-up-word for baton-twirlers.) I mean where ELSE are batonists going to exhibit their skills?

Even though the Tournament of Roses parade bores me to tears on an annual basis, I gave it another shot.


Then came the first float.

You can imagine how pleased I was to see that the, "Sweet Dreams" float sponsored by Honda featured a singer who very much so embodies the precise demographic that I believe Honda is more than likely attempting to appeal to: Kenny G.

Kenny G on a float.




(Note, if you must ever write about Kenny G, don't add a period after the G. Nope, he goes by Kenny G -- sans period. I had to google it.)

I definitely know that back in college when I was very proudly rocking a Honda Civic (my first ever brand-new car),  I would have rather been run over said civic than own a Kenny G CD. That was many years ago. I still feel the same way today. (I'm not doubting Mr G's talent - it's incredible. I'm more of a strings fan, less a fan of the saxophones.)

So Honda's choice of on-float entertainment? Questionable.

That said:

So there I am on my couch with Lila next to me, in awe of what Honda's creative department has crafted out organic plant-based materials and a truck chassis.

Then it happened. Kenny G started performing.

It was almost more than I could bear.

Kenny G. On a float. Playing the soprano saxophone.

I smiled in spite of myself. And promptly changed the channel 45 seconds later all the while asking, "Really? Kenny G on the FIRST float?"

Then I thought about that hair. That hair hasn't changed.



I think there are two schools of thought when it comes to that mane of sexy curls:

1.) If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

2.) It's broke. Fix it.

Group 1. thinks: "There's nothing wrong with that man's hair. His curls and his part are American tradition. People pay good money for that. He is a fine looking man with lovely curls."

Group 2. thinks: "He has had that hairstyle for no less than 35 years. It's time for a change. Even MICHAEL BOLTON cut his hair."

Me?

I think it's time for a change. But then again, strip him of his various saxophones and flute, cut the hair and still put him on the Honda float. Who would recognize him?

Kenny G knows what he's doing, kids.

He's keeping that mane.

If you care to book Kenny G for your next corporate event or party, click here for more info.

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5 comments:

  1. Random reader fact.... I was a "batonist"! And I was quite AWESOME if I say so myself! Majorette from the age of five, four years at Whitmer, and a coach.

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  2. I was a "batonist," too! (age 6-11)

    I also played the saxophone. (age 11-20) Because of that, people think I MUST like Kenny G. Ummm... NO. And not just because his hair is gross.

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  3. Are they trying to kill him? How small is that platform? And speaking as a musician myself, if you google Kenny G (no period) and Jazz you are likely to find some scathing commentary about how much he has killed the world of soprano sax for other jazz players. He may be able to hold a note for a really long time, but everything he plays (to me) sounds the same.

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  4. ughhhhh kenny g.. yea, what's up with the tiny platform???? hahaha

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  5. You make me smile...love this! But I do NOT love Kenny G

    Though he has filled a niche in the adult contemporary/elevator area of music, so that is something :)

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