What in the world?

Tenzing Norgay
I find it to be amazing how our children always just know when to deviate from their norm.

It usually seems to happen to me/us when we're already hanging by the thinnest of threads.

Take for example the fact that I've had a cold for about 2 weeks now. I was able to keep it at bay until exactly Friday night. Then I collapsed.

It seems that both of my children modeled my behavior and lost their respective minds and collapsed emotionally.

Vivienne has a cold, too and obviously can't blow her own nose at 7 months old. (We're working on it. Right after she starts doing her own laundry.)  So, we use the standard blue snot-sucker-outer to clear her nasal passageways and she loathes it. Like shaking, screaming, crying-loathes-it. I seriously start to ask myself, "Really? Should I just leave the snot in her nose? This isn't worth it. She can breathe, can't she?"

And, she's been wanting to eat every two-seconds during the day. Yes, I'm a breastfeeder. However, this far into the game I am not a, "You-can-eat-whenever-you-get-the-urge" kind of Mom. I mean I don't hold out and make the child starve (she weighs 17.4 lbs), but let's just say I qualify the situation. Sadly, though -- at this point my uptop is my ace in the hole and well, if it stops the screaming (and helps a potential growth spurt) -- I'm happy to do my job. So constant nursing has been awesome this past weekend.

Oh, and Vivienne has recently been inspired by Tenzing Norgay and is climbing up EVERYTHING in our house like it's Mount Everest. (SHE IS SEVEN MONTHS OLD.) Biggest issue with that? Oh yeah, the part where she can't get herself down from wherever she is. Most notably: standing.  So she screams and screams and screams until you rescue her... from standing.

"Oh, give her some time, she'll figure it out. She'll stop screaming and just sit down on her butt."

RIGHT. I tried that. You try and listen to your 7-month-old screaming at the very tippy-top of her lungs for 12 minutes because she's stuck in the standing (???) position.

I'd totally wait it out if she and her sister didn't share a wall and if it wasn't the best time of the day: nap time.

Vivienne's screaming. Lila's trying to nap.  Then Vivienne screams louder. Then Lila screams. Then Lila tries to help the situation by singing, through the walls, at the top of her lungs to Vivienne. Then Vivienne keeps screaming.

AHHHHH...

So yeah, Lila?

Well, she's been a titch unstable, too. Mostly in the arena of napping. She may be ready to give up all naps, we are adamantly not. So, therein lies another conflict. (She naps fine on most days... just not on the days when I need for her to.)

As I type this, Lila is screaming.
C. told her to go back to bed a thousand times already this afternoon and she objects each and every time.

She will not be deterred.

Every time we go in her room to deal with her, she's either a.) wearing all of her jewelry and singing, b.) playing with her books/dishes/fake food, or c.) confirming with us that when she gets up she can "go outside and wing" [swing] and go "real high" and say, "weeee".

Her words, not mine.

YES. IF YOU GO TO SLEEP YOU CAN GO OUTSIDE AND WING AND GO REAL HIGH AND SAY WEE.

IF YOU DO NOT GO TO SLEEP YOU WILL NEVER, EVER, EVER DO ANYTHING FUN EVER AGAIN AND WE WILL NEVER FEED YOU EVER AGAIN EITHER.

SO THERE.

Then she asks, "Why?"

No, of course I don't say all that to Lila because that would be mean and grossly inappropriate. But let's be honest, I want to.

[Craig just said it again: "GET IN BED, LILA." Video monitors are amazing.)

But for real, there's another issue here: she's two and she is asking, "Why?"

WHAT? (Ask that in your Little John voice.)

"Why, Mama?"

Dum, dee, dum, dum, DUM...

..."BECAUSE I'M THE MOMMY AND I SAID SO."

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Yep. I said it. And I'll say it again, sister.

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So that's where I am on this Sunday afternoon.

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WHAT in the world?

Whose kids are these? They clearly are not mine.

Do these children not understand that I just want to sit on my couch for the rest of the day with my computer on my lap, my remote in my hand and with chocolate and wine at my side and watch the Emmy red carpet?

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Someone? Anyone? Let them know for me, ok?

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Boo to them.

(No kidding, Vivienne just woke up screaming and I can hear Lila opening her door.)

I'll tell you what, they're winning today.

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3 comments:

  1. HUGS!!!

    Oh man, I feel you...I do. Because I've been there so many times this past month. My 3 year old is all about 'why' and negotiations regarding naptime. Everything is a negotiation and she's quite good at it. And my 1 year old is all about doing everything in her power to avoid napping. She destroys her room...but the best part... She pretends to sleep until I get downstairs. Then, she gets up and tears her room apart. I think I walked up and down the stairs putting her back in bed 6 times today. Not fun anytime, let alone when you're pregnant. I think they are in cahoots. ;)

    I know it'll get better though...it's all just a test...of some sort. We shall pass sister!!! Hang in there!

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  2. I just found your blog recently, and had to comment when I read this. My now 18 month old also used to get stuck in the standing position! I'm glad it wasnt just us! It was right around 7 months too, and all the other babies his age I knew were barely rolling over and here he was all standing up, but he couldn't figure out how to sit back down. Once I was trying to get him to nap and after going in like 3 times in as many minutes to lay him back down, I let him cry it out some. He would be quiet for a few mins, then start crying again. So I went in to see what was going on and he was falling asleep STANDING UP. I felt so awful! Anyway, it was a rough week or so but soon he figured out the sitting down part and naps went back to normal.

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  3. This post completely made my day... Maybe even my week. I'm on a plane from San Francisco to Minneapolis and I literally had people looking at me I was laughing so hard. And then of course I almost peed, not that it's hard to do at 8+ months pregnant.

    I just want to say thank you for the laugh and I'm sorry it was at your expense :). But I've been in that spot oh so many times so it's wonderful to know I'm not the only one.

    I cringe every time I hear myself say "because i said so". Love it.

    And the blue thingy is the bane of Lily's existence. If I ever want to use it, I usually will have to have Jeff help hold her down. Yes, I said hold her down. The worst part is she cries and then just ends up with exponentially more snot... So no, it probably isn't worth it, but I feel like I have to try.

    Lila singing to help with the screaming is absolutely the best. And you're right, when you really "need" them to nap is exactly when you can count on no nap or such a short nap that it wasn't even worth the effort. I have apost to write about this, but a very similar situation resulted in a full on meltdown for me a few weekends back. I'll let you read about the rest of the fun details :)

    It doesn't seem fair, but yes... Sometimes they get to win. I hope you at least got to enjoy some wine!

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