My "Official" 2011 Emmy Fashion Recap


So at first thought whilst watching E!'s very important coverage of the Emmy's red carpet, I thought, "Well, wow. There's a lot of earth tones and red. Interesting."

[intense thought, no?]

Then I thought, "Where is Tina Fey?" I missed her on the red carpet.

I digress.

Let's dig right in.

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First off, the Glee ladies. Oh wow. AWFUL.

It's true. I hated all of their looks.

Here's why:

Lea Michelle's red dress was made for a taller person. I'm sorry. It was. The back was gorgeous, but the rest? No. Ill-fitting. (Great hair, though. She works the bangs.)

And Dianna Agron's blue dress? GASP. Are you kidding me? It seriously appears as if she's being choked out UFC-style by that bright blue satin. There couldn't be a more ill-flattering look for her arms, either.


Amber Riley and Jayma Hayes in their pinkish-purplish ensembles were horrendous.

Amber looks like she's 53. Which would be fine, if she wasn't 25. (I IMDB'd it.)

And Jayma Hayes looks like she's starring on the stage at Dolly Parton's themepark, Dollywood. Awful. And do your hair.



Oh boy, now I don't hate the first navy-blue dress on Heather Morris. In fact, I think it's kind of fun. She's the right height for it. But the hair? Stop it. As if you needed more height. That look is wearing her; she's not wearing it.

And Jenna Ushkowitz just looks too severe. That dress is scary.



So yeah, there was a lot of red.



Kerry Washington's dress looked as if it was a hand-me-down from Ursula from The Little Mermaid.  (Look at the bottom.) I kind of hate it.


I thought that Nancy O'Dell looked cute. All summery and airy and fun... for September. I liked the turquoise accessories with the dress. Fun stuff. The tan? Too much, girl. TOO MUCH.


I will say it until the cows come home: GIULIANA needs to start consuming Ensures... increase the calories, girl. Her dress was fine. I don't love it. Whatever.


Angela Kinsey from the office looks like she's wearing a taller woman's dress. I think this was an epidemic at this year's emmy's. Short people trying to wear off-the-runway couture dresses.

It doesn't work.

Look at her hips.


This is Adrianne Pilicki. I don't know who she is. But I do know that the top of the dress would make a cute retro swimsuit. I'm bored with the rest.


Sofia Vergara gets, "Most Improved" award. She looks fantastic. The girls are in. The curves are still showing. Very nice. The accessories? Well, you can't expect her to change EVERYTHING over night.


This was my favorite red dress... until I looked at the bottom. It's quilted. WHAT?  (This lady is Nina Dobrev. I don't know who she is either. Seriously, I don't watch enough TV. If that was Foofa in a dress, I'd totally be able to call that out.)

Top of the dress? Fun. The bottom of the dress? NO.


Kate Winslet was my favorite red dress because she is a lady. And I just happened to love her version of Mildred Pierce.


I sort of love Anna Faris but I hate this dress. On a cruise. Or in St. Tropez. Not at the Emmy's. And her hair and eye makeup sort of look like it was modeled after Courtney Love. And that ain't a compliment, yo.


How pretty that Minka Kelly borrowed the dress that her Mom wore to her sister's wedding last November and wore it to the Emmy's.

Ugly.


This is a covered-up look that I can get behind. I just thought this looked cool. (Lena Headley.) I love her hair, makeup and nude lips. Cool.


Now do not get me wrong, I LOVE Amy Poehler and Will Arnett. I DO. But that dress? The MATERIAL is HORRENDOUS. It looks like she skinned a disco whale and made a dress out of it. It's TERRIBLE.


And these two? Holy wow. I have NO idea who they are, but I'm assuming they're on a vampire show. Could they be any more melancholy and lethargic? Um. No.

(This seriously made me laugh.)


Speaking of couples. I smiled when I saw Ian Somerhalder's "on the red carpet" face. I thought it was a fluke.


Then I realized that he meant for that smirk to be there.

Now that's a shame.




Speaking of guys... Fez looked cute. (When did that happen?)


Ok, as a Toledoan you know I have to talk about Katie Holmes.

UGH.

Friends? I really want to love what she's wearing. But I don't. The color is blech and I'm telling you, my hair looks like that right now. Frizzy and nasty. The whole thing is boring and $10 says that she's wearing flats AGAIN because of her teeny husband.

And that neckline? She looks like a linebacker and I bet she weighs no more than 113 lbs.



Speaking of blue...

When I saw Kate Flannery from The Office I actually sighed. Where did that body come from? Wow.


I believe this lady is on a Real Housewives show. It is my opinion that she doesn't get to wear that big of a dress if she's on a reality show. If she were on Glee or Mad Men or Modern Family -- sure. You've got leverage and therefore area for your dress. Not when you're on a Bravo show, lady.

So there.


Well this lady (Phoebe Price) was asking for it, no? I'm a little quirky myself, so I get it. The prints are fun. And her freckles are super cute. She just looks a wee bit sloppy.


See, now I thought that Elisabeth Moss of MadMen looked FANTASTIC. This is a gigantic improvement. The hair could still use some work, but eh - you can't have it all. Nice job.



Whoa.
Christina Hendricks.

Whoa.


I hope Jane Krakowski just got back from vacation... because that tan is out of control, yo.
(I like the adornment on her hip, though.)

(Her hair looks fantastic.)


Christine Baranski looks SO age-appropriate. I love this.


Yay for Heidi wearing a Christian Siriano dress. This pleases me. That skirt is FANTASTIC. FAN-TASTIC. LOVE it. I swear, it makes me giddy.


I have a feeling that this is going to be a favorite of others... Julie Bowen looks smashing. For me? 'Tis a bit low cut. But, that's me.  She looked amazing and I loved her plain hair. Nice.


I LOVE this person's hair. LOVE. Her color-scheme and style is great, too. Fun. (Cat Deely)


Truth? Martha Plimpton looks fantastic. I LOVE this dress on her. Sure it's all full-glitz and stuff, but she looks FANTASTIC. Everyone deserves to look pretty every now and then. Way to go, lady.



I don't like Claire Danes' dress. I usually think that she looks amazing with virtually ANYTHING she wears, but this one? It looks like an ugly snake.

Yes, an ugly snake.

As opposed to a cute snake.


This is Ellie Kemper and she's cute. And her dress looks like pebbletech that's in the bottom of pools here in Cabo. I'm not a fan.


Who let the little girl (Ariel Winter) from Modern Family wear this dress? Not ok. It's like a leftover from a quincinera. Awful. And it's far too low-cut for anyone born in 1998. (Yes, 1998.)

I'd ground her for trying to get away with this dress.

If you're wearing braces, you can't show boob. That's the rule.


And for the terribles.

I mean really terrible dresses.

Paz de la Huerta looks like a ho. Clearly she thought that she was going to the VMAs. Her earrings are terrible. Her hair is awful. Omg. This whole thing is just... well, it's sad.



I believe that this little lady got her dress at Forever 21. You know, in their fancy "occasions" sections.


Could this dress be more ill-flattering? Come on? It's gaping everywhere and apparently is supposed to be like that. God bless this girl.


There's nothing about this that's ok. Padma, it's not good. You're chopped. Or whatever.


I thought I was going to really love Emily Blunt's dress... but the more I looked at it... the more I thought it appeared as if it was made up of a bunch of little clumps of... hair.

That's disgusting.

I just couldnt' get past it. Perhaps you're more mature than I.


 I had no idea that Barbie was up for an emmy. What's the deal with that purse? (Brooke Anderson.)


WHAT? WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? Ok. Sure. Perfectly acceptable for a formal awards show.


This looks like it should have been on the set of Braveheart. There's a metal breastplate on top of a canvas of peach chiffon dress. Totally pretty.

(What in the world was Eva La Rue thinking?)


This is my worst dress.

Taraji P. Henson knows better. She is an oscar winner. WHAT IS THIS DRESS? It's hideous and borderline lewd.


Ok, and now for my favorites.

Lara Spencer. I liked this. I just thought it was FUN.  I realize that she's an entertainment show host and not an actor per se, but still... fun.


This dress is adorable. Good for Kaley Cuoco for rocking the tea-length.  I love the hair. I love the top of the dress -- it's refreshing to not always see strapless -- and the shoes are cute. I sort of wish she would have chosen blue or yellow, though.


Rashida Jones looks AMAZING. I love this dress. And her hair. So pretty. I really love this.


I surprised myself and loved Julia Styles dress, too. It sort of looks like under wear and I love that about it.


I didn't mind this. Yes, I know, her stomach is showing, but really? If someone's going to show their stomach it might as well be Gwyneth Paltrow, no? I would wear that skirt in a heartbeat.


And my best dressed? Are you ready for it? You may be shocked... but seriously? Kelly Osbourne. I love this. Love this. LOVE THIS. She looks so good. The color was a deep wine color, a bordeaux, if you will. (That was for you, C.)

I am so pleased with how far she's come. She is a lady now.

Quite nice. Quite nice.





-- Check out last year's fashion recap here.

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3 comments:

  1. Lena Headley was my favorite. and the Mad Men ladies. (rock it Mad Men ladies! BOOOYAH!)

    i don't know who most of these people are. i think i live under a rock. a quiet, commercial-free rock.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Would would have thought that KELLY OSBOURNE would have been one of the better dressed at the Emmys?

    Why was everyone dress so...trashy?

    Can we talk about Jane Lynch? AMAZING.

    I live for these posts.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You know whose dress I really liked? Drew Barrymore's. I feel everyone else was meh. She, at least, was interesting.

    Julianna Marguiles. Huh? Why?

    Jane Lynch was awesome. She was a good choice.

    Best good-looking surprise of the night: Turtle from Entourage. Hel-lo! Where did he come from?

    ReplyDelete

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