"Push Presents" disgust me.

7/22/2011 04:04:00 AM
"Push presents" disgust me.**

There. I said it.

The notion of a "push present" is offensive and slightly disturbing, however it's the nomenclature that repulses me the most.

So, to get those of you up to speed who haven't had a child in the past several years, this is the definition of a "push present" according to the absolute authority on a host of super-unimportant slang, the urban dictionary.


I'll spell it out for you:

Lady gets pregnant.
Lady, pushes out baby.
Dad gives new Mom a [usually previously-indicated] present for pushing out said baby.

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Gross.

Here are my thoughts:

1.) I'm not a dainty girl. However, there are words that I don't love and they are: moist, panties and fart. (Note: vagina and penis don't bother me at all if you're keeping a record.) "Push present" if off-putting. Yuck. Perhaps I'm pretentious and a snob? Still, this is an image I don't love.

Quick note: The reason I don't like "push present" has nothing to do with my feelings regarding childbirth. In fact, I don't mind childbirth. It's normal. It's natural. I've participated in it three times in my lifetime. Once with my birth, twice with my daughters'.

2.) Requesting a gift and labeling it a "push present" is like throwing yourself a birthday party and then telling everyone what to buy you. I hate it. One shouldn't mandate that someone purchases you a gift for any occasion. Am I wrong here?

3.) It's contrived. If your Baby Daddy wants to buy you something for this momentous occasion, he should be able to do so because he intended to. Not because you demanded it. And the pregnant lady shouldn't discredit the motive behind the gift-giving by labeling it a "push present."

4.) A "push present" devalues the entire birthing experience. (Yep, I said it.) I mean really? You just had a BABY. THAT IS YOUR PRESENT. Do we as women need compensation for gestation or birth? NO. That BABY is our gift.

I'm sorry. I just can't handle it.

I hope you get a new camera to take amazing photos of your new baby.
I hope you get a new car, because you need one.
I hope you get a lovely piece of jewelry to commemorate this momentous occasion.
I hope you get the sweetest love note filled with the kindest thing you'll ever hear...

...just don't label it a "push present", ok?

Thank you.
The Management

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**I have a feeling this post may make me unpopular with the pregnant folk or the recently pregnant folk. But as a recently pregnant person - I feel I can have an opinion.  Especially when it's the right one. Hee hee.

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8 comments:

  1. Funny, I have the "right" opinion, too.

    I have never heard of this and, as a current pregnant person, must agree. My thoughts are. . . Seriously? Is this for real?

    Good post.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have only heard of this just recently and I think it's gross. I don't need a "push present." My new baby and the love of my husband is all I need. I don't need the gratification that "wow you did it. you gave birth to your baby." if that's what the push present is for...

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  3. This is funny to me. As a recently pregnant lady, I had no idea there was any such thing until one day, months after Attia's birth. I was complaining about not having money for a ridiculously priced sweater from Lululemon. My girlfriend was all, "Tell Sean it's a push-present. Go buy it. He didn't get you anything did he?" WHAT? Weird. I love presents, but I love them because someone thought of me and out of their own compulsion, wanted to get me a token of that affection.

    People are fa-reaking weird. You are still popular with me, my dear. :)

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  4. Im with you on your "right" opinion...its dumb, not needed, and the actual gift should be the life you created together

    ...the blonde in me thought the title actually said "push president" and Im like, hmmm...president who? What did he push? then I started reading...hahaha

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think this is funny. My husband bought me a ring right before I had Sophia and all of these ladies called it a "push present". I had no idea what they were talking about. It was actually something sweet to represent that we were now a family of 3. I didn't expect or ask for it. After I had her, SHE was my present - I totally agree. I think some woman have children for all the wrong reasons...and well, that's a whole 'nother bag o' worms. ;)

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  6. to be honest, and this is something i've hesitated to admit before... i'm 100% with you. tacky.

    maybe because we did a lot of husband coaching birth stuff but i didn't see it as *me* doing all the work and deserving something special. WE were having a baby. WE went through labor as a unit. WE had a baby.

    i can understand how it would feel good to get extra recognition at that chaotic time though. and who doesn't like presents? i think it's more the "gimme gimme" attitude that some ladies have about it. demanding. expectant. vulgar.

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  7. I want a big present, at about the time that I deliver our baby in October. But I want it because 1) my due date is 3 days before my birthday so I would get a birthday gift anyway, and 2) my husband is working overseas for about 50% of my pregnancy and I am being pregnant wife of the year about it all. :) And I don't want diamonds, I want a new camera lens and/or a nice wide-format printer and/or a new computerized paper cutting tool that's scheduled to come out in October. AND I don't care what anyone calls this gift. :)

    AND I'm saying all this now but by the time the baby gets here I'm quite sure I'll be staring in wonder at her and won't have a thought in my mind about presents. But it helps me get through this sucky part while he's gone. :)

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  8. I must be living under a rock, I have NEVER heard about this before...LOLLLL! Agreed...YUCK but it did make me laugh a little! :)

    ReplyDelete

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