Eviction. I pass on the co-sleeping.

2/22/2011 06:29:00 PM

Last night marked Vivienne's four-weeks-of life. I wanted to do something a little bit cra-zay to celebrate...

...so I decided to evict her from my bed.

Harsh, right?

Sure, it might sound that way, but the truth is, I'm just not a co-sleeper. YES, I want my child to have a healthy attachment to me... however for me that means she gets her space and I get mine. I tried it for the past month and well, it's just not for me. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE suggling and napping with my children... Key word there? Napping. I simply cannot abide a child in my bed every night. It's just not my thing.

Up until this time Vivi has been sleeping in my room switching between being in the bed with me (Craig's been in the guest bed so that one of us gets sleep) and in her bouncy seat. It's not the best setup all around.

A.) You don't get good, solid sleep with a newborn sleeping in your neck or on your boob. You just don't.

B.) I'm not on board with a Mr. & Mrs. Cleaver marriage. In other words, my husband shouldn't be sleeping in a different bed 3 doors down. I get it, we have a newborn. This is why it was ok for the first month, but may it be duly noted that this isn't my preferred sleeping arrangement henceforth.

C.) It is my duty as a parent on this planet to cultivate good sleepers who love their beds as much as I love mine.

So, last night I swaddled up The Viv (as Trophy Life calls her) in her miracle blanket (the best swaddling blanket ON THE EARTH) and placed her in her crib...

...and sucked in a DEEP breath... and went to take a shower so I wouldn't hear her peep. (No worries - Craig was on-call.)

See, I'm a huge believer in putting a baby down, "drowsy but awake" so that they hone their self-soothing skills. In my experience, if you put an already-asleep baby down in her crib she will invariably wake up, scream and there you go all over again. So, "drowsy-but-awake" is my preference.

She fussed for a little while off and on.  (NO, I do not endorse the CIO (cry it out) method for a newborn. Ever.) So anywho, she fussed for maybe 5 minutes, I picked her up because I couldn't handle it, then put her back down and patted her and shushed her for a few minutes. Then bam. She handled her business and fell asleep sans pacifier. NICE.

[Note:  While we're talking about my parenting, I'm not one of those moms who's willing to get up all night long and stick her kid's pacifier back in her mouth after she spits it out and starts crying. Just can't do it. So, I kind of try to get the ladies to sleep SANS a pacifier. Luckily, Vivienne could take or leave her pacifier. (So far.)]

So, Vivienne slept and off I went to my bed. With Craig. And with Vivienne's video monitor ON and inches away from my face.

She awoke 2.5 hours later. I fed her. Then, I laid her back down in her crib. She fussed for about three minutes and fell back asleep. I made the decision to sleep in the bed in her room. Because, well... I felt like I needed to. (So yeah, I evicted her and then I squatted in her new room.)

She awoke 2.5 hours later. I fed her again. Then, she fell asleep AGAIN.

OMG again. Not in my bed. Not all angry-like in her bouncy seat. She didn't fight it too hard, she just fell asleep.

She's learning to fall asleep?!

So tonight we're repeating this: she's in her room. We're in ours.

We'll see how it goes.

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Additional co-sleeping thoughts:

I don't have anything against parents who chose to co-sleep.

I would never implicate ANY of them as having "inappropriate relationships" with their children (as I've read...). That's ridiculous and offensive.

And, those who argue that it's physically unsafe for the newborn/child to co-sleep? I have **NEVER** heard of a Mommy rolling over on her new baby no matter what her level of exhaustion. Instead, my fear is that new mommies over-accommodate those babies and end up sleeping on a six-inch strip of bed with limbs that constantly fall asleep. Now Daddies? For some reason I fear for them sleeping with children. I think Moms are on high-alert and I'm not convinced that Daddies share that same alertness.

The decision to not co-sleep for me is simply about this: I adore my bed. It's my respite. It's my happy place. I absolutely want my ladies to love their beds and feel comfy in theirs, too. And, I'd rather teach them this from birth, ok four weeks, than later.

Seacrest out.

UPDATE as of Wednesday morning: 


Vivienne didn't fee like going to bed until midnight. Then when she did, she slept for 4.5 hours. She got up and ate, then went back to bed for 3 more hours. WAH-WHO!

And. I did it again. I slept in the bed in her room.

(Craig had to get up early and there really is no sense in BOTH of us being exhausted. Besides, he gets up early to deal with Lila so I can at least catch a few winks...)


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8 comments:

  1. I totally agree! I made my daughter sleep in her crib since the day I brought her home from the hospital because I feel the same way about her wanting to be in & love her own bed, on her own, without me forcing her to be in it. I slept in her room for the first month too, and then moved back to my own bed with the monitor about an inch from my head! lol I can, however, say that I have heard of babies being hurt in bed when co-sleeping. I am a 9-1-1 dispatcher and we have gotten calls a few times with a frantic parent that rolled over or actually suffocated thier newborn. Its very sad, but it does happen. Anyway, my daughter is 9 now, and I do let her come sleep with me during thunder storms though...I dont know if thats for me or her...haha!

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  2. Yay for sleeping with your husband again!

    I agree with this entire post. . . completely.

    Love "The Viv". Just love it.

    Happy sleeping, my Friend!

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  3. I'm with you on this.

    Joss was in her bed, in her room the very day we brought her home from the hospital. (granted, she was almost 2 wks old, and had been sleeping away from me for that long, but...)

    It worked/works for us.

    I'm not gonna lie and tell you she's never slept in bed with us, because she has, uh...last night actually :) She woke up at 4am and just would not go back to bed in her room. So, she came in between R and I and slept like a log.

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  4. you know the drill, do what works for YOU!!

    couldn't agree more with "drowsy but awake" tactics.

    i'm a cosleeper at heart, but my kid had other ideas. he loves him his own bed.

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  5. I laughed out loud at the "Seacrest out" at the end!

    Yay for you! I'm glad you're getting more sleep and that "The Viv" is adjusting well!

    I was never a co-sleeper type of momma - I wanted the babies to go to sleep in their own cribs and to stay asleep in them. I don't have any problem with parents who co-sleep with their children, but for us, having twins, it worked out perfectly NOT having them in bed with us. And, my kids are champion sleepers and always have been because we 'trained' them that way. They still sleep 12 hours a night - solid.

    I totally agree with the alertness thing with mommies vs. daddies. Take our current situation of living in an apartment - I'm awoken at the slightest noise coming from upstairs because I am so conditioned to listening for the kids! Whereas my husband blissfully sleeps through it all, it doesn't bother him in the least!

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  6. YAY for doing exactly what is right for YOU, AND for getting hours of uninterrupted sleep! Hooray!! :)

    Love you, love The Viv. :)

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  7. YAY for getting to sleep in your own bad and for little Viv sleeping in hers!

    I remember when I saw you last year and you put Lila to bed & she went right into her bed. I was so surprised because I see many of my friends who have troubles with getting their kids to go to sleep in their beds when they are still awake. But Lila seemed like she wanted to be in her bed. I was very impressed with that!

    Hope this new sleeping arrangement continues to work!

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  8. good for you and what you've been able to set forth with regards to the whole sleeping thing. i will surely consult you when i'm freaking out over newborns (when/if they come!).

    phew!! was hoping that i didn't hurt any feelings by referring to her as The Viv. ; )

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