Produce Report
OHMYGOSH I'm 38 (out of 40) weeks

And, here I sit. And wait for Lila. ;) Welcome to 38 weeks! (Check out the creepy floating baby at left. Whoa.)

As it turns out, Lila has indeed "dropped" and is preparing (I hope) for her descent into this world. I've told her that I feel good about her coming any time now. (I want to make sure we're on the same page, you know?) She hasn't said she's ready yet, though.

Q. How am I feeling?
A. Physically? I'm large. It was 101 degrees on Saturday and I don't feel the need to leave my home between the hours of 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. It's just far too hot. I mean it's far.too.hot. Thank goodness for working from home.

My feet are so swollen that it honestly makes me laugh. They're so puffy.

I'm still working out (in order to induce labor at this point) and have gained 30-31 lbs.

Q. Speaking of feet, any suggestions regarding toe rings and pregnant women?
A. Yes.

I've been wearing the same 3 toe-rings for about 10 years without taking them off. I managed to get two of them off a couple of weeks ago. The larger, cooler one was a no-go.

I tried putting my foot in ice water. (This prompted UNBELIEVABLE cramps in my leg. DO NOT DO THIS.)
I tried soap.
I tried water.
I tried massage oil.
I tried WINDEX. (Thank you, My Big Fat Greek Wedding.)

*Note: The windex got the other two off.
--
Finally, Craig bought tin-snips and there went my third and final white gold toe ring.

I'm thinking about sending it to, "Cash4Gold" to see what I can get.

Q. How are you doing, emotionally?
A. I'm good. I'd say if I had to give myself a vote on how stable I currently am, I'd give me a 8. (Ten being the most stable. On a normal day, I hover around 8.5.)
  • I'm excited to know that within days (!!!) we'll be meeting this little human that C. and I created. I hope she's a dog person.
  • I'm getting work tasks out of the way -- so I'm nearly ready to just let that stuff go. That feels good.
  • I'm somewhat curious as to how my labor and delivery will go. Just wondering how "our" experience will be.
  • I'm vacillating between our "now" and our "future" quite often. Essentially, sentimentality for what it's been like for the past 12 years, and excitement for what it will be like for the next 18.
Q. Are you nervous?
A. Nope. There are just some things that you're not nervous about. I wasn't nervous about getting married or buying my first house. Instead, I think I was just ready.

We've wanted this for so long. I'm ready.

Let's go team!

Q. Any dramatic statements you'd like to say regarding impending parenthood?
A. Funny you should ask. Yes.

I will not lose my relationship with my C. We've decided that we will work, work, work and do all that we can not to lose sight of this super-great relationship that seriously, only God could have given us. Lila will not be a new love that will replace my love for my husband. Instead, she will be a different kind of a love. A love that we'll raise together, love together, and then watch grow up and head on out... while we're still together.

Nope. I'm not willing to let this relationship fall by the wayside. It's far too important. And fun. And light. And easy.


Q. Are you ready to meet Lila?
A. There was a part of me that has loved "holding" Lila these past 38 weeks - having her be ALL mine! Up until recently, I wasn't quite sure I wanted to give that up. But this week has been a turning point - I'm ready to share her with her Daddy. And I suppose, the world. (Though I'm not quite ready for that part.)

She's more than welcome to come out now. My work here is done.

Now I'd like a glass of pinot grigio. And a draft amber bach. And a glass of pinot noir. And maybe a mojito, a margarita and most importantly, a Jack Daniels with a titch of 7 up.

Q. How's child prep classes going?
A. I'll be honest. I had a bit of a breakdown last week after class. (Here I am before class.)

It's all so overwhelming; the silent judgment from the other "mommies-to-be" and the TOO MUCH INFORMATION that is thrown at you like torpedoes. All this talk about episiotomies, drugs, c-sections, natural births, vaginal births, perineal massage (yes, I said it) and more... well, it's too much.

I nearly wanted to put my hands to my ears and scream, "EAR MUFFS!"

Sometimes too much knowledge is just too much.

I have no expectations for my labor and delivery. And, I really don't care what ANYONE else thinks about how I choose to have my child.

If I chose drugs, I am NO less of a woman. If I chose to go it drug-free, I am no MORE of a woman.

It has occurred to me that with this new chapter of life (pregnancy, motherhood, parenthood) -- comes a LOT of judgment for random folks who "just know better." I'll tell you what random folks - I don't care what you think. You were once where I was and you had NO clue either. What works for me and my family, works for me and my family. Likewise for you.

This is probably a good time to report that we're following in the Mexican tradition of piercing our newborn's ears.

(Go ahead. Audibly gasp and cry for my child's virgin ear-lobes. Wail about how we've made a choice for her that we have no right to make. Go ahead. I'll wait.)

Here's the deal: it's tradition that baby girls are given a gift of earrings from a loving family member upon their birth. Nurses pierce the ears in the hospital and bam! It's over with. Lila was made in Mexico. She's going to have dual-citizenship. She's going to have her ears pierced. Our choice. Decision made.

Moving on.

Q. So, what do you think of that labor breathing recommended in child-birth classes?
A. Each time I do a "hee" in the "hee-hee-hee-who's" -- my ears pop.

That might be a problem.

Q. Is the nursery done?
A. Pretty much! Just waiting for the chair, then the slipcover, some picture frames and the changing table pad/cover. I'll take pictures as soon as it's complete. It's SO cute. I love being in there.
So does C.
So does Ferg. (She sleeps under the crib.)

Q. Are you doing your kegels regularly?
A. My goal is 3 sets of 25 a day. For the record. I hate them.

--

So our Dr. asked us if we wanted to broadcast Lila's birth LIVE over the internet in real-time.

Yep.

My response: "You mean... like... show my 'area'?"

His response: "Um. No."

We told him we'd think about it.

We thought about it. (I did.)

The answer is no.

Can you imagine? "Tune into twopretzels.com to watch the BIRTH of my child!" No thanks.

--

Ok, check out how HUGE I am. I compare the first picture to this last one, and want to cry. Seriously. CRY RIVERS OF TEARS. And then slap myself for ever complaining that I was fat.

--
Dr.'s appointment today. I'll let you know if there's any news in the effacement/dilation department. Here's hopin'.

Next on the list? Making some sort of iPod playlist of songs for labor/delivery. To be included for sure? Um... Eye of the Tiger. Any other suggestions?

KB

18 comments:

  1. I'm so wanting to hug you at this very minute. I'm sure you've heard all this before, but once you get in the delivery room, you won't even have a moment to think about episiotomies, c-sections, blah, blah - none of that. Just remember not to throw stopwatches at anyone while in labor. Apparently, they don't like that.

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  2. for a second, i thought that maybe you had smelled someone's CK One at the grocery store and threw up on them! i had forgotten that it even existed.
    it's funny how teeny/tiny your body looks at the early phase of pregnancy (you WERE skinny, duh), but so crazy how a pregnant stomach grows/stretches!
    sorry that C had to remove the last of your toe rings - bummer.
    i think that you should wear ear muffs to any birthing classes in the future. or at least have them in your purse?
    i'd like a picture of your puffy feet.
    can't wait to see pics of the baby's room!
    okay, that's it for my random comments. miss you. can't wait until Lila arrives. You and C will be ggrrrreeeeaattttt!!!

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  3. ah toe rings...my sister had to do the same thing (have her last ring cut off).

    i LOVE that you're getting lila's ears pierced. very cool tradition.

    wow. 11 more days on that 'creepy floating baby' ticker...amazing!

    and you're right...you're going to get a lot of unwanted advice from a lot of people who think they know best...but you're the mom here and you do know best. :)

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  4. I can't believe the bit about the toe rings. How miserable, but I'm glad they are all finally off of your toes. I couldn't imagine the pain they were probably causing!

    As for song suggestions, my husband would probably say "face down, ass up" by two live crew but that one probably won't help you much during the labor, unless you are into that sort of thing. Aside from that, "eye of the tiger" will probably do the trick! :)

    Good luck and I don't mind that you are piercing your daughters ear right out of the womb. Good for you and for her! Now you won't get the statement, "oh, he's so cute. what's his name?"

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  5. So you can do a live internet birth, uh?!?! Yeah I would have said a big NO to that as well. Oh the things we can do through the world wide web.

    I think you have the right idea staying inside. Stay cool!! And that does suck about your toe rings but I LOVE how you tried Windex (i love that movie).

    You sound as ready mentally and physically (actually more then ready) as a new parent can be!! Also, this is fantastic, good for the two of you: "I'm not willing to let this relationship fall by the wayside. It's far too important."

    HUG, she is almost here!

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  6. A WATERMELON?! Holy cow. When compared to an object, that just seems so impossible. :)

    I love the week by week belly comparison. I have like 8 pics from my first pregnancy and 4 from my 2nd. Ah well. If I do it again, I think I'll do this little "chart". Very cool. And I love the colors of sports bras. They accent the belly very well.

    WOW! I never knew they pierced newborns ears in Mexico. I think its cool that you are taking part in a tradition. What better time..... they're going through so many snips and pinches, what's one more right?

    I keep waiting for an announcement. I'm excited for you!!!!!

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  7. This is so exciting, I can barely stand it!

    Yeah, I love that you said that you and Craig realize how important your relationship is and refuse to put it on the back burner. Anyone who knows you two knows that you will do everything to make that happen - you guys are awesome. Lila is a lucky little baby.

    Song suggestion: "Ooh baby, baby, baby, baby. Push it good, push it reeeal good" - Salt 'N Pepa. I cannot think of a more perfect song for this situation.

    Big HUGS.

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  8. so...once lila is born, can we expect a weekly "Monday Lila Report"? :)

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  9. TLC - I was hoping to do a weekly Lila report.

    Do you think that'll be too much? Too much "baby"?

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  10. HAHAHAHA, Mickey D. that is the BEST song!!

    I personally would LOVE to see a weekly Lila report if you have time of course! NOT too much baby at all :)

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  11. - I LOVE your comment about Lila: "I hope she's a dog person." That is maybe the cutest thing I've ever heard. (Also, look at Ferg: How could she not be?)

    - Addition to the list of suggestions for your delivery room soundtrack: "The Final Countdown" by Europe. Trust me, you know it. And it'll get you totally pumped. Hey, if it works for the NBA...

    -I would LOVE weekly Lila updates (or more often, as you would like). If I had a blog right now, 95 percent of it would be about work and my dogs. It's all what's front and center in your life. I wouldn't worry about "too much baby." I think your audience (including me) would love it.

    - I am SO, SO excited for both of you, and so proud of you, and so THRILLED for you, and I cannot wait to meet Baby Lila. LOVE YOU.

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  12. Ky....there can never be too many baby updates. :)

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  13. Lila will be a dog person. Decision made. Done. Moving on.
    :) (In fact, I believe that willbe on Ferg's daily Lila report. Ferg will be like, "cool." and Lila will say to her friends, "Who you making fun of? So what if my sister has four legs? Get your own life."
    So many things to think about and wonder.. thank you for sharing them with us. I want to be around the day Lila can read all about the world surrounding her journey into this world. What a beautiful gift to know what her mama was thinking, experiencing, even if it means some mother's day you get a white gold toe ring.
    Thinking of you and Craig is an understatement. We are up here doing the "ra ra Lila come" cheer. Ok that was cheesy. What do you expect? Love to you all. Kat

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  14. Great songs: I Hope You Dance, Happy Birthday and Las Mananitas (Mexican Happy Birthday).....oh and Don't Stop Believing by Journey.

    Any subject where no two people give the same advice is not worth considering the opinions and that is essentially anything about parenting....its clearly subjective. BUT talking it out feels good.

    Here is what I know as the loving family member supplying my new niece with her first pair of earrings.... I say this with absolute confidence...AND I am pretty darn certain that all your readers/friends/family/coworkers will agree with: You are going to be the VERY BEST mommy to Li Yen, and you and Craig are going to make great, and sometimes difficult and even bad, decisions that will to lead her being a wonderful, centered, secure, happy girl....and at times cranky, difficult and complex....but no matter what, BELOVED. No one will be a better mom to Lila than you will be. EVER.

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  15. Song playing during the birth of both my children. . ."Welcome to Our World"-Chris Rice. Calming and meaningful. I'm so excited for you guys, Kylee! You will be great. Personally, I think the "birth part" is the best part of pregnancy. Good luck!

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  16. Due to your love of all things Lionel, what about "Dancing on the Ceiling"? Not sure if that is the actual title or not, but I wish you well! :)

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  17. What is love? Cutting off your wife's toe rings - for starters.

    LOL!

    Kylee! You are getting so close. You are adorable. We are excited for you here in Ohio and cannot WAIT to see your darling spawn.

    I would like a copy of the baby Playlist as I am sure it will rock.

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  18. OH. MY. GOSH. I am SOOOOOOO excited for you!!!

    :)

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