Produce Report: It's an avocado this week.

1/12/2009 07:42:00 AM
I'm 16 weeks pregnant. This means, I'm 4 months and 3 weeks pregnant. I'd like to state for the record, TIME IS FLYING BY. No really. FLYING by. Next thing you know, this nearly 5-inch long avocado is going to be dressed in an Ohio State Buckeyes outfit sleeping in his/her Daddy's arms.

This week the avocado's arms and legs are complete and s/he is allegedly very active right now: rolling over, doing somersaults and kicking. (Can't feel it yet.)

Let's get down to business with this week's update. (I hope these aren't treacherously boring for you.)

Q. Do you really understand the whole weeks/months pregnant thing?
A. Prior to pregnancy, NO. Now, yes. This clever little graph has helped me. Print it out. Keep it in your purse. Find it online here.


Q. Why doesn't Mexico carry caffeine-free coke for pregnant women or anyone else for that matter?
A. Because they are racist. I'd give C.'s left arm for a case of caffeine-free coke. Right now. Right this minute. (I'd more than likely drink half of a can and be done. Again, that's the annoying way I roll.)
Q. How did your Dr.'s appointment go last week?
A. Super great. I was 15 weeks exactly and again we received a great ultrasound. The little avocado is growing along perfectly. However, I find it odd that EACH time the Dr. places the ultrasound magic wand on my lower stomach and spies the baby he says, "Oh wow - that's a big one!" Literally every time. I'm providing a growing environment for a 7-footer, I guess.

Q. Do you know the gender of said avocado?
A. Yes. Well, we're 97% certain of the gender of the fruit.

Q. Well, are you going to tell readers already?!
A. No. Not until we have ONE more ultrasound. I just want to be sure before I shout it from the Mexican mountain tops. I like to be certain. I took 4 pregnancy tests and got a blood test before I believed I was really pregnant.

Q. Are people touching your stomach yet?
A. Yes, Craig is. He's allowed to, though. Family members have started, as well. I'm ok with that. When creepy co-workers/enemies start in I'm probably going to scream, "PERV!" at the top of my lungs or immediately launch into a tirade about how it wasn't appropriate for them to touch my abdomen before I was with fruit, so it's clearly not appropriate now. God be with those people.

Q. What have you learned thus far during pregnancy?
A. Never underestimate the power of hormones. I can feel anger faster than a match can be lit or I can tear up at a commercial quicker than that little Asian guy can eat a hot dog.

Q. How are you sleeping?
A. Week 16 means that sleeping in my favorite position must cease. No more sleeping on the 'ole back. Why? It puts pressure on the aorta and vena cava - possibly reducing blood flow to the avocado.

Q. How has pregnancy affected your finances so far?
A. Dear friends, when you're pregnant you drain your bladder (how's that for tactful) a ridiculous amount of times per day. Literally at night, I go at least six times. (I'm not kidding.) That said, thus far I have proceeded to single-handedly triple our water bill this past month. (From about $24 USD to $74.) We've attributed this to constant toilet-flushing.

Lol. That cracks me up.

Q. What should you buy a newly pregnant woman as a gift?
A. A bottle of tums, a 24-pack of toilet paper, pop tarts and sparkling grape juice.

Ok, here I am yesterday.


That's all for now.

15 comments:

  1. I love these updates, not boring at all!! You look adorable, a noticeable change in the bump since last week.

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  2. I ADORE these updates! And I agree, DRASTIC bump change!

    Louis is astounded by how quickly this is going by as he felt that I was pregnant for no less than 2 years.

    I'm not a soda drinker, but I was OBSESSED with caffeine free Mt. Dew. John and Jenna ALWAYS had it and it was lovely. If C. cared he would drive to the US, buy you some Coke, go through all the fun customs, and get it back to you in a timely manner... you know, by lunch.

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  3. wow...yep..that's a bump all right! :)

    let me just say: when i was pregnant i HATED it when anyone touched my belly. well...OK...i let my husband. but anyone else...no way. i was very much DON'T TOUCH ME. EVER. :)

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  4. I did almost spit out my salad with a comparison to yourself and the little asian hot dog man. :)

    Yay for you two. You are adorable. Your baby is going to be so cute.... I can't wait to hear the gender!!!! And the names.... and everything else!

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  5. You are sooo cute!! Keep up with the updates- love to hear them!! And keep taking weekly pics because you are going to be continually amazed at how fast 40 weeks go...and how you change!

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  6. Actually, 16 weeks is "4 months". 4 weeks per month...even though some months have more than 28 days. Congratulations! I'm 22 weeks =0) Wait to you feel the avocado kick.!!!!!!!!! It's A-MA-ZING

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  7. Oh yes, please don't stop with the updates and the weekly picture...this is great!

    And the sleeping thing is interesting, I did not know the way you sleep could affect the baby.

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  8. I'm very excited to see that maintaining a normal body with just a little bump seems to run in our family. Lynsey and you both have stayed quite normal sized (I'm knocking on wood for you both right now). I'm sure once my turn rolls around, I'll break the trend :)

    Oh, and I'm sending a U of M onesie for s/he to wear when Aunt Ragan comes to visit!

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  9. Yep, this is fun.

    Fun for us and will be totally fun for Baby Broughton to see someday.

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  10. LOVE the updates, keep 'em coming. i feel that the noticeable bump change was in the front view. i was like "I CAN SEE IT"!

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  11. Seeing these pictures of you made me smile instantly!!

    You're so cute.

    Love,
    Sal

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  12. BTW, do we have to wait a month until the next ultrasound? I could have done without knowing the fact that they're 97% certain of the sex.

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  13. Ky, like I said before you are just too cute.

    As you get bigger, random strangers will ask if they can feel it. I had someone in the grocery store ask me.

    I just looked at them and said

    UM NO......

    Thanks for the updates!

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  14. I like how you said "with fruit." lol

    You are very cute my friend. Thanks for keeping us in this very special loop.

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  15. You look adorable. I LOVE reading these updates.

    By the way...(my little tidbit of knowledge) your baby's hearing system will be fully developed in 4 weeks. And yes, the little avacado will be able to hear. Tell C to start practicing the "good language" :)

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