Two Pretzels

February 14, 2017

There are just more important things to worry about.



I guess that's what I get for reading people.com.



I don't have an opinion on this.

If they were wearing thongs, I'd have an issue.

Let's chose our battles, friends.

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February 12, 2017

2017 Grammy Red Carpet Fashion Recap


So I usually don't write about the Grammy's just because, well, I don't normally watch them. And, the fashion drives me nuts. I like pretty gowns. I like chic looks. I struggle with looks that are derived from a kids' jump-in ball pit.

Ah-hem.

So, here are some total wins* from this year. (Sarcasm included.)




 

I mean... ok.

Sigh.

But, there were some fun ensembles.

Chance the Rapper looks adorable.


If I could get past that mane of hair, I'd be more equipped to give you a judgement on this Julian Macdonald gown.

All I know is that this appears to be crocheted and I've never been able to make crocheted slippers because I'm hard pressed to make anything symmetrical.

This is gorgeous.


February 7, 2017

Instagram dogs, captioning and cardigans.

There's a dog on Instagram that I follow.

Wait.

That sounded... sad and desperate.

Maybe you need some background info.

When my girls grow up and leave the nest and go to college, or I just kick them out, I intend to adopt a labradoodle, name her Clementime, and she will be a therapy dog. Together, we will visit hospitals bringing good cheer, hope and at the very least, dog hugs to people who need them. #lifegoals

So, the labradoodle thing isn't going to happen yet, so this is why I follow this dog on Instagram. Note: I'm very happy with Ferg, my nine-year-old Havanese. I'm moderately happy with Millie, our six-year-old rescue. Kidding. We love Millie. It just took two years.

So, I follow this dog on instagram.

He's @poochofnyc. (Follow him.)

I was originally drawn to him because he totally looks like Bob Ross. (May he rest in peace.) And who didn't love being lured into PBS and watching Bob make his happy trees?




 (You see it, right?)

So anywho, THIS picture was on his feed the other day and I've had MORE than a good time captioning it. LOOK AT THAT DOG'S SIDE EYE.

THE SIDE EYE is what kills me.

I've sent the following to my poor baby sister who is currently a busy, sleep-deprived mother of three (including an infant). I'm sure she loves her phone blowing up with the following:



"Girl. I can't even hear that right now. I've got a perm at 4."

"Donald Trump did WHAT? That doesn't even surprise me."

"What do you mean I'm 'overdressed?'"

"I know you didn't just say that my hair is poofy."

"Bye Felicia."

"Read my teeny-tiny, pursed dog lips: no."

"Does it look like I care that Beyonce is having twins?"

"That Caesar's dog has no talent."

"My hair color is not brown. It's caramel."

"I'm the global Vice President of Fancy. Didn't you see my cardigan?"

"How you like me now?"

"It's not a necktie, it's an ascot. Pshaw."

"There is no such thing as natural beauty."

"I can't even."

::

So yeah.

That's what I do.

::

Want me to add you to my texting list?

I didn't think so.

I'll reserve the additional captions for my baby sister. I'm sure she can't wait for her phone to ding with more.

But if you have one, I'd love to hear it... :)



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January 31, 2017

Legging love. Whoa. Buttah.



I'm a little slow to the trends and JUST bought my first pair of LuLaRoe leggings from my bestie who is a LuLaRoe stylist.

Um, as my good friend said, "They feel better than being naked."

(Seriously. THEY ARE SO SOFT. Like BUTTAH.)

This is clothing for all body types, all ages. And, it's cozy.

I'm having an online pop-up on Wednesday, February 1st. Basically, you hop online in the Facebook group, grab a glass of wine or cup of tea and go through the albums of various styles and patterns. See something you click? Type, "sold." (No obligation, of course. But the leggings are incredible. I'm also in love with the Julia dresses (see above) and the Cassie skirts (also above).

If you want to jump in becuase you're already a LuLaRoe addict, or because you're interested, I'd love to have you!

Click here to join us! OR search, "lularoe tam macneal: kylee's online pop-up" on Facebook.

6 pm PST
7 pm MT
8 pm CST
9 pm EST

(Click on any of the images to make them larger.)




January 29, 2017

2017 Screen Actors Guild Awards Red Carpet Fashion Recap



I almost don't want to write this post.

Friends, this was the most boring red carpet I have seen in years. YEARS.

Holy wow.

Usually on every red carpet, I gasp. I say, "Whoa. That's amazing."

Um...
No. Not tonight.

Let's start with the Burgundy Bridesmaid dresses. (Ignore spelling errors. It's late.)

So here's Taryn Manning wearing Fall's latest option for autumnal weddings. I believe it also comes in pumpkin spice and winter squash.


And here's Taylor Schilling wearing the most unflattering ruffles ever created. 

WHATTTTT is this? I can't.

Heavy, heavy sigh.

January 27, 2017

Going gluten free... and not excited about it.



For the past five years or so I've been ignoring some responses I have to certain foods. I'm already lactose intolerant... Too much information? Look out, I'm about to tell you even more info you didn't want to hear...

Anywho, I adore cheese and thank goodness there's a lactose intolerance spectrum and I can have some cheese. I'll forego ice cream for the rest of my life so long as I can have a slice or two of extra sharp cheddar. (Woot, woot.)

Moving on, I come from a long line of amazing women... and a family chock-full of digestive issues.

Up until recently, I could ignore it all... until an itchy, painful rash appeared on my hands about 3 months ago. I'd had the little rash before, but back in October it was bigger and worse than ever. Unmanageable. Out of control. Small blisters, that turned red and itched (OH DEAR, THE ITCHING...). I've tried everything: oils, steroid creams, coconut oil. You name it.

"Someone? Can you please just cut my hands off? They're doing me no good."

So, symptom 1: angry, red, rash

::

So because of an unfortunate experience a couple of years ago - I haven't had pasta since then.  It's not worth it. Nope. See ya, pasta. (And I was a fettucini alfredo girl. Oh, the butter... the pasta... the dairy...)

 Well... this past weekend featured a lot of bread. And I say, "featured" because my love for bread... oh, my love for bread and all delights made of flour? Oh, it's strong. I'm the kind of person who enjoys the bread more than the main course.



In addition, my name is Kylee and I love Lionel Richie and DONUTS. I love donuts so, so much. And then I love cake. And warm bread. I love brownies. I love sandwiches and crusty bread. I love bread bowls. I love muffins and biscuits and all of it.

Well, guess what... all systems are putting to gluten revolting and no longer wanting to be my friend.

So, here I am. Telling the universe that per my doctor's wishes, I will be giving up gluten for a certain period of time to see a.) how I feel and b.) to make this HAND RASH GO AWAY. (Yep, there are others issues going on -- but I'm not sure I just download my entire medical history on the blog.)

That said: help me.

Are you gluten free?

Tips? Tricks? Resources?

Tell me.

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January 24, 2017

And just like that, Vivi's six.



Dear Vivienne,

Every day after school, you get in the car and I say "Hi!"! Before I can even ask the questions, "What did you do today? What made you happy? What bugged you?", you blurt out...

"It was the best day of my life."

"You forgot to pack a spoon in my lunch."

"It was the worst day ever."

"Did you know that my friend got new shoes?"

"You gave me the wrong fruit. You gave me Lila's."

You come at me like a speeding train and I love it about you, Vivienne Kate.

No one can slow that, whom is you, down.




::

In your six years of life you have brought humor, joy, wit and intensity to our family. It's a good intensity, too. You're loyal. You're inquisitive. You're of the "go big, or go home" ilk. And, I can expect that the problem will be solved with you. You won't walk away from a challenge.

You're small, but you're mighty.

(love this about you.)







You like to run, wear Star Wars t-shirts and take care of your constant companion, Baby Shirley. (It will forever fill my heart to hear my Mama's name on your  lips. All day, everyday.)






 




Your addiction to legos exhausts all of us, but keeps you busy for hours. You are thoughtful and intentional and loving and saucy... just as you should be.

You're constantly jabbering. You're the slowest eater I've ever met. You've got a story, an idea, a "what if" that you need to tell us right.this.minute. Every minute. You get sidetracked easily. The walk from the kitchen to your bathroom in the morning, so that you can brush your teeth, can bring about the most exciting diversions... "Look what I found, Mommy!" GO, Vivi! GO!







You ADORE your sister. Lila is the standard by which all things are measured. But this year, just recently, I'm noticing that you're forging your own way. Lila will say, "I believe in aliens." You will respond with, "I don't. They're not real. No."

And boom.

Scene.

The other day, you told me, "You know? Lila is my best friend..."







You're a proficient organizer, folder and planner. (woop, woop) and your favorite Lionel Richie song is, "You are." You don't get frightened very easily, but you also are absolutely not a fan of closed doors or rooms with no light.

You also really know how to mix your patterns.






You're taking karate and you love to high-yah around the house all of the time. You also love to play futbol, but you fall more than you run. But when you need to run, you can! You just ran in your first 5k and you knocked our socks off.



You're a solid listener in the classroom, but from what we understand, you're pretty wiggly.
You're an early riser and still insist on waking everyone when you wake up. (Ugh.)
You're learning to read and improving every single day. You don't read one word at a time, instead your technique includes sounding out the whole sentence, then reading it all at once, out loud.





You bite off more than what one would think you can chew; but you've got it under control.

You're a lover.
You're a fighter.
You're a dreamer.
You're a sweetpea.
You're a ninja.
You're a mama.
You're a thinker.
You'er a tinker-er.

You, my dear, are perfectly you.



Vivienne Kate, our world is full becuase you joined us. Me, your Dad and your sister (and Ferg and Millie and Baby Shirley) love you mucho, mucho, mucho.

Vivi - I'm so glad you were born.

Happy birthday, muffin pants.

I love you,
Mommy





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• • • • •
Vivi's History on T W O  P R E T Z E L S


Pictures from Vivi's first year -- just a few -- click here to see
When I announced my pregnancy -- click to read here
Vivienne's birth story -- click to read here
Vivienne's birth announcement here -- click to see it
My post to Vivienne on her 1st birthday -- click to read it
Pics from Vivienne's first cake experience -- click to view
Vivienne's first birthday party -- click to see
My post to Vivienne on her 2nd birthday -- click to read it
The pics from Vivi's 2nd birthday party -- click to read it
My post to Vivienne on her 3rd birthday -- click to read it
The pics from Vivi's 3rd birthday celebration -- click to read it
My post to Vivienne on her 4th birthday -- click to read it
The pics from Vivienne's 4th birthday party -- click to read it
Vivienne's 5th birthday -- click to read it

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